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Emilsen
Denmark
12 Posts |
 Posted - 09/28/2012 : 10:32:11
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Hello everyone,
I have followed this forum for years, and feel that I know many of you. I would therefore like to thank you, and let you know that many of you have strengthened and helped me a lot of times.
I hope you will give me some input to one of my biggest barriers.
In addition to my physical pain, I am dealing with anxiety. Generalized anxiety disorder, health anxiety and more.
Symptoms are beyond physical pain all the classic symptoms of anxiety/stress: Constant inner turmoil, racing heart, restless m.m.
I have read so many times that I have to realize that my symptoms are benign and therefore don't need not fear them. At the same time you are told that stress is dangerous for the body. How do I then consider my symptoms as harmless. Paradoxically, it makes me anxius and stressful not being able to eliminate the symptoms. It really is a vicious circle.
I have besides Sarno read all Claire Weekes books and tried to work on my anxiety, but I am stuck.
I would be grateful for all your good advice.
Many thanks in advance.
Emilsen |
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eric watson
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 11:18:41
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| thank you emilsen-i have had an anxiety disorder since i was 15 im 40 now-ive never really discussed this much on here-its really hard when the world seems to have delt you a bad hand-i have beat many issues in my life but the anxiety seems to be the hardest -im no veteran on this forum by far and i know that youll be having some wise advice very soon-for the first time in my life i feel like i can beat this problem-i was told it was genetic and passed to me from my mom and she did have very very bad nerves-i thought it was going to be till the day i got old , had to be assited in life and then i would just lose it-but now i know -i can feel it, that theres freedom on the way-ive never even pondered this before-i thought that was just the way life was -now hope is the answer -i dont know just yet the answer to your issue-i just want you to know people -good people are listening and we have a way out of this -i was thinking just last week how my life has turned 360 since i have aquired this new found knowledge of living in the now-controlling my thoughts instead of letting them control me and i started controlling my own anxiety that used to be so out of control-it was a mark of aceivement-an uh huh moment that i didnt have to let life control me anymore -i could control the way i felt and reacted to life if i was willing to take control of my thoughts-now i had to focus on this all day long -i didnt go to work -i had to fight the monster sorta say-i worked on it the next day and it didnt seem as hard-im still a work in progress but from sarnos books, steveos book and this forum of friends hope is there and that alone brightens my day -i hope this helps some what-i know the good guys and gals will be along soon -hang in there and god bless |
Edited by - eric watson on 09/28/2012 11:50:08 |
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tcherie
72 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 11:44:42
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You will be ok.
Even though I am currently dealing with anxiety, I have dealt with it before. Much more severe then I am going through now. Because I know how bad it can get, I am trying to nip it in the bud to avoid the vicious circle you refer to.
My anxiety tends to be situational. And it is related to my overall health and how I feel. But the reason that has been an issue is do to other deeper emotional stresses.
Definitely take it day by day. I am telling this to myself, as I am telling you. You won't notice the difference each day, but eventually you will as you look back. And it can take a while. I say that so you won't lose hope, not so you will despair. It depends on what the trigger is.
I remember I was having back pain. I absorbed Sarno, and I got hope back. I lived my life trying desperately to act the way I wanted to feel. Eventually my brain caught up. I need my brain to do the same thing for me again.
I think our brain are creatures of habit. Just like it can learn to feel pain, it can learn to hold us in a state of depression or anxiety. You have to train your brain to accept that you know what it is doing, you understand why, but you need it to accept that you know you are ok.
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SteveO
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 13:26:52
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GAD is a sign of the unexpressed self. There's something in your life you want to say, or do, but can't or don't know how to because you were never allowed to. It reminds me of the story Dr. Miller told about an anxiety ridden girl with stage fright. She was a piano player but was in fear of performance, and life. She then moved on but he saw her I think years later, playing in a public arena with ease and passion. He spoke to her and found out that she was playing the type of music that she wanted now. Her parents had her playing strict jazz before, but she was now playing some funky stuff that her soul wanted to express. She wasn't herself before, and so her anxiety elevated.
I wrote about Humanistic Psychology, and how Rogers developed the concept of self-realization (Mazlow's term, that Jung called self-individuation). When the self is not being true to its wants and desires it gets anxiety ridden. It was called cognitive dissonance by Leon Festinger.
Anxiety reveals a disconnect from what you have from what you want. From who you really are from what you are pretending to be. From the deferment of pleasure because you were shamed into being something other than yourself. This can change with growth.
Steve |
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tcherie
72 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 14:06:52
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Steve,
This is exactly it for me. I have developed anxiety. I used to be a completely happy for years...or at least I thought I was. I didn't understand depression or anxiety. But I know that I am not living the life I want. I know that I am doing things based on the expectations of others.
I'm usually irritable and on edge. I've tried to tell others, I cannot take on another task, not even the simplest request...but ulitimately my life appears like I should not have any issues, and people expect me to be the one they can share their thoughts with. When I need it, I don't get the support I need, because people don't understand.
That's why right now this forum is important to me, because it is a group of people that understand.
I would like to look into your book Steve O. I am sure I can find the title somewhere in this forum, but if anyone can share the name with me, I would appreciate it. |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 15:50:07
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Steve's book:
The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse
by Steven Ray Ozanich
(listed in the RESOURCES section, with a live link). |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 15:52:31
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In my opion, GAD is just like many other mindbody syndromes like tms, anxiety, panic, OCD, CFS,..., they are different symptoms of the same disease. They all came from negative emotions and stress. The conventional medical establishment just made up different names for it according to some criterias they've made up. Doctors just love to make up all these fancy terms to name diseases. The more fancy, the more scary, the more complex, scientificly sounded the better.
How one get rid of them is exactly the same way one would with tms. One have to accept the diagnosis that the symptoms had emotional causes, stop fearing the symptoms, going on with life as if everything is normal, in time, they will get well.
Nothing and no one can cure you if you don't accept the diagnosis and if you can't stop your fear of your symptoms.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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susan828
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2012 : 18:51:18
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Emilsen, I have had anxiety problems since age 10 that I can recall. I have about 50 books from layman to clinical but the one that helped me the most is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J.Bourne. There are also some good health anxiety books such as Stop Worrying About Your Health, It's Not All In Your Head and The Worry Cure (Leahy, a fantastic cognitive therapist), which has a chapter on health anxiety.
Claire Weekes is excellent and certainly helped me 40 years ago but there are newer theories that may help you more. I am sure you can find the books I mentioned on Amazon, used and cheaper than full price.
I am glad you found this board. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, self-diagnosed because at this point, I have read more than most shrinks. I have never been able to just relax, always worrying about something or other happening. It's a lousy way to live but I am trying. I do hope you get Steve O's book. I have it and it has helped me more than Sarno's. I can relate much better to it and I feel that he explains things a step further than Sarno. Good luck and stick around. |
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Emilsen
Denmark
12 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2012 : 02:28:01
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Thanks for all your replys.
Like many of you, I have had anxiety most of my life. However it seems that i was much stronger when younger, and anxiety did not have the same power over me.
I became early in my life conscious of the fact that my feelings almost always appeared as physical pain. I knew that when I had a stomach ache, it was because I was afraid etc. Over the years I became more and more convinced that almost all my physical illness sprang from my mind.
25 years ago my mother became ill and was later diagnosed with fibromyalgia. She has always been rather unstable, periodic alcoholic, depressive and with many physical problems. Fibromyalgia was then a relatively new diagnosis but I did not believe in it, (my mother did.)
As you, Balto, I consider stress, anxiety, fibromyalgia, CFS, and many other disorders as an expression of the same.
That we all are influenced by our childhood and many of us have learned wrong thought patterns at an early age, I can easily identify with. Nevertheless, I have always taken great distance from people who blame their bad childhood for the outcome of their lives. I've always believed that if you were just strong enough, you could break free from the heredity and environment theory. And when my mother got sick, I did think that it was never going to be me. In 08 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and thought "you're kidding me".
I am 40 years old, happily married and the mother of a boy. I live a very privileged life, and should be healthy and happy.
As you Eric, I was told that I was probably genetically predisposed to anxiety and fibro from my mother. But I could by no means accept this theory, after all I've spent most of my life trying not to end up like my mother.
I have been journaling, writing page after page, raided all my life, seen a lot of contexts. Realized that I have a lot of unfortunate personality traits, perfectionism, worry, needing to be good, overly responsible and mush more.
I feel that I am exhausted. I don't think I have more to write about. I often feel that I am complicating the entire thing, by thinking. And sometimes I have had this sudden inner feeling, that the solution is really just around the corner. That I just have to "let it go". I am not sure what "it" is. I thought that it must be the fear. However, I have not succeeded in doing that.
Balto, you have mentioned several times, that one day you decided to stop being afraid. I have read and read your posts many times, thinking this is what i have to do. I just can't. Far from it. Where did you get this strength from?
Steve, you write "Anxiety reveals a disconnect from what you have from what you want" I understand what you are saying, the problem is that everyone will say that I have everything I could wish for. It is difficult to change a life that basically seem to be perfect.
As you write tcherie, "ulitimately my life appears like I should not have any issues". It sounds like mine.
Steve, I've just ordered your book and am looking forward to reading it.
And also, thank you Susan, I also ordered The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, like you I have a library of self-help books, but I hope that I, by feeding my brain with the right inputs can achieve the goal.
Thanks again to all of you. You give me hope!
Greetings from Denmark
Emilsen |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2012 : 07:02:02
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Emilsen, we learn our thought pattern from our parents. We react to life's challenges just like them. So we usually ended up suffering from the same illness just like them too. It is not heredity, experts have study adopted children and it shown the same result. Adopted children many times suffered from the same kind of cancer as their adopted parents did even if their blood parent didn't have the disease.
Tms Books can save people's life, It did save my. But becareful about reading too many of them. When it come to your mind, there are a few conflicting theories out there. Some of the authors have a financial interest in writing book. They sometime make a simple illness into something so horrible, so complex, so difficult to understand, so difficult to get well... they have to make it "worth" your money, it is not easy to sell a $10, $20 book if it is only 20 pages long.
My thought is: something happened in life which created negative thoughts which produced negative emotion in our mind. If we dwelled on that emotion, if we let that emotion go on for a long time, we make negative changes in our body's biology that will produce mind body symptoms. When those negative emotions cease to exist, usually the symptoms go away, but for many of us, the symptoms don't go away because we got stuck in a fear loop. We fear for our health, we fear what the symptoms would do to us. That fear feeling is what keep the pain alive. If you can overcome that fear and elliminate your body's learn conditioning respond, you will be cure.
We all heal differently, I was able to quit my fear in a short time, for others it may take longer. There are methods to overcome your fear, here is a few, but you have to keep at it for sometime before you see result:
- One of the best way to overcome fear and automatic negative thoughts is using positive affirmation. It worked for me. Ace1, an MD member on this forum often recommended it. It worked for him and it worked for many others. At first you may not believe in your affirmation but with "repetition" it will sink in and push out those fear thoughts. Repetition and enough time is the key. So keep doing and give it some time. Athletics do it all the time to win. It may help to read this: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/200909/sports-building-confidence-part-ii
- I think part of the reason our fear thoughts is so hard to get rid of is because we let our mind wandering around by itself. We rush through life, we are our own worst enemy. We need to calm down and to live in the Now. Everyone should read Eckhart Tolle’s book. Many of our problems exist because we dwelled too long in the past and we worry to much about the future. So please read that book and practice some meditation. Again, you need to give it time to work. No rush here.
- Desensitize. Whatever you're fearing, just gradually expose yourself to the situation would help you overcome the fear. With affirmation, slowly resume those activities you have been avoiding because you affraid it is bad for your health. Slowly eating those foods you crave but affraid it is bad for your gut, slowly and peacefully resume all those things. Gather help from friends and family members, ask them to eat with you, ask them to go with you, do thing with you...
- Get busy, get involve. We are often sick because we have to much free time ALONE. We are herd animal, we need to feel useful, we need to feel we have contribute, and we need the bonding, the support of our herd. So get involve, volunteer, go to church, take a class, do some project with others... and really get involve, really focus on the project at hand, make friends, build a strong social support... it is good for our mind and body.
Hope this help.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2012 : 08:01:45
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Since we're plugging books, I'd like to pile-on for SteveO's book, "THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION". He has warned that READING tms books can become a TMS obsession/distraction in and of itself. I've read most all the TMS books over the years of my TMS journey and have found them ALL to be the BEST TMS book I've ever read. But I'm hoping that SteveO's will be the last TMS book I "have" to read. I have enough other books stacked in their Amazon cardboard mailers to last my lifetime. At some point you have to merde or get off the pot and get on with your life--as any good shrink should tell you, "This isn't a dress rehearsal."
I bought SteveO's book closing in on a year ago and I'm only up to page 108. People I've given it to have finished it already. SteveO joked that I won't finish it 'til the year 2265 and he's on target. SteveO has done the work for us, by having one of the most wretched TMS experiences that the med/industrial complex can provide, yet he has broken through to the other side.
He has read all the other TMS books, distilling them into a writing style that is easily understandable by every(wo)man, and gotten his info from the original sources having talked with Dr. Sarno, Dr. Sopher and many other prominent TMS professionals. I keep rereading paragraphs for days. I'm hoping in due time, if I finish his book, he and I will have performed a minor miracle on my arthritic/TMS(?) hip and I'll be running back and forth from the net to the baseline like I used to do in the good ol' days (or be happily playing croquet).
Cheers
(I've never done an Amazon book review, maybe I'll copy this over to there if I can find an eight year old to show me how). |
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TMS and anxiety
