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km118
USA
15 Posts |
 Posted - 09/08/2012 : 17:39:41
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I have been battling pain in my right leg and buttocks for almost 5 years now, when a few weeks ago I learnt about TMS and was sure that was my problem. I've returned to running, I've been journaling about my past and trying to face the emotions my subconscious is repressing, and I've been going over Sarno's daily reminders. But I haven't seen any change in my symptoms yet!
I tell myself that the lack of symptom change is because my subconscious is trying to fight back at me, but at the same time I must admit I'm feeling slightly nervous that maybe this isn't the cure I thought it was going to be. I know this is only prolonging my symptoms, and I try fight these thoughts by replying that nothing is physically wrong with me- but I keep having them. I'm basically going in a giant circle. I should also add that I have always battled with low esteem, and I find myself constantly wanting to excercise to fit a certain image. I try and tell myself that I'm fighting TMS for my own personal gain and relief, not just so that I can excercise and fit a certain image- but I feel like this may subconciously be a huge part of my drive to find relief. I feel like this self esteem issue is only fueling my TMS, and making it so much harder for me to fight this. But I literally can't help feeling this way. Is a low self worth going to be in the way of my TMS recovery? I feel like I will feel this way until I have relief and can excercise again- so yet again, a giant circle.
So my question for you is- was this what it was like for all of you when you started this journey? I don't know much about what happens after you realize that you have TMS, and I wonder if I'm going about this the wrong way. What do I do about this anxiety that I feel about my recovery? Do I keep exercising?
Also- whenever I try to stretch I don't really feel any sensation in my right side(side with symptoms), like I do in my left. However this is the side that is painful so I can't be numb and in pain at the same time, therefore it has to be TMS. However, this lack of sensation still makes me nervous. I'm so lost in this treatment.. I have no idea what to do next.
Would you happen to know of any TMS psychologists in the Atlanta area or anywhere in Georgia? I've searched high and low and can't find any.
I guess all I want to know is some advice from others on this journey. What's my next move? Am I doing this right? How do I fight this anxiety? I'm so confused! |
Edited by - km118 on 09/08/2012 17:50:42 |
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stayfit65
54 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2012 : 18:05:08
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| I am so glad I saw this post tonight. I am in Atlanta, and like you, I looked for a good person to talk to. I e-mailed Dr. Schubiner because I was seriously thinking of traveling out of state to see him. He was very kind, and he recommended a counselor that has been helping me deal with my emotions. His name is Ed Glauser and he is in Athens. Google him if you like to get his info. I started this process in April, as I had suffered about 9 months with excruciating back pain. When I started, the pain got worse to start with. Then I read Steve O's book, and through it I realized that the brain is slow to change, and will resist strongly to "protect" us from our emotions. Do you by chance have either the Sarno video or audio version? The reason I ask is that it really helped me to hear Dr. Sarno's voice saying "There is nothing wrong with your back." But it has now been 5 months and the pain really is fading well. It tries to move to my knees, but that, too, is getting better, because I'm not giving into it anymore and letting it distract me from doing what I love. Over time, if you truly 100% commit, you should see that the pain starts becoming erratic. One day out of the blue I had a fantastic day at work, then the next day was good, then the next the pain was back, but not as bad as before. Then the good days became the norm, with the occasional worse days, but not bad. Over time, it seems like I don't give the pain much thought anymore, and now it is fading away from my life. Try to stay as positive and focused as you can, even though the pain can make it hard. I started mediating and focusing my brain on how my back felt before the pain, say in a certain chair, or my car, and it was amazing how well it worked. Then I started focusing on how strong my back is, like a stacked pyramid. I do a lot more deep breathing and positive thinking. Dr. Emmett Miller has some good meditation CDs out there. I hope I haven't rambled on too much, and I hope some of this helps... |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 09/09/2012 : 16:55:07
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Hi Km118,
As Dave (the Forum manager) would say, “stop trying so hard”, you are doing it right! Relax; there is no set timeframe for a cure. I would definitely say this isn’t the cure you thought it would be. Read my ‘Now I’m being Silly post” for a fun look at TMS Pain.
When we join the forum we have just learnt that there is a cure for our pain and this ‘physical pain’ becomes our main focus. Your pain should be your last concern. This may sound obtuse, and I had to learn this myself, and it was Dave who helped me understand this. We have to understand is that the cure is uniquely ours, as we discover what is necessary to heal. Dave once used the phrase “self discovery”.
I see you are trying too hard, like most beginners do. You have multiple questions within questions. If you spoke to a professional as stayfit65 suggests it might sooth and relax you. Like stayfit65, I have just read SteveO’s book, he has recovered from TMS and writes about his first hand knowledge and experiences. As Dustin recommended I would order his book “The Great Pain Deception”, it is a wonderful follow up to Dr. Sarno’s HBP, injected with words of wisdom and fun, You will also get the answers to your questions above.
In February this year, (my start on my second tour of duty with TMS), I watched my Dr. Sarno VHS tapes Healing Back pain once again. To see and hear the man on a white coat really helped get me going again. I have no need for them now, and if you like I can send them to you, I will of course need your address, my email on this forum is open.
Once again you are doing nothing wrong.
Good Luck
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Taking a break from Wiki Edu. due to windsurfing priorities
Charlie horse on neck for 20 years. (to be evicted soon.)
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
Edited by - andy64tms on 09/09/2012 17:03:52 |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2012 : 21:04:17
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Hi Km,
We haven't conversed before, I tend to drop in and out of the forum based on where I am in life. I'm going to pull apart your post in an effort to "unstuck" you.
"I have been battling pain in my right leg and buttocks for almost 5 years now, when a few weeks ago I learnt about TMS and was sure that was my problem.
- GREAT, you need to be absolutely positive about this and have zero doubt
I've returned to running, I've been journaling about my past and trying to face the emotions my subconscious is repressing, and I've been going over Sarno's daily reminders. But I haven't seen any change in my symptoms yet!
- this is because in MY experience, and I have a bit, TMS in NOT about your past. TMS is about right now, and the thought you have in your mind, which create emotions that you either can't or wont deal with or accept. Your current toxic thoughts are likely putting a vast amount of stress on your nervous system which is causing your body to become very up tight
I tell myself that the lack of symptom change is because my subconscious is trying to fight back at me,
- Oh yeah....and how is that working for you?? When you are telling yourself you are creating it for yourself....perhaps try telling yourself something more useful and supportive?
but at the same time I must admit I'm feeling slightly nervous that maybe this isn't the cure I thought it was going to be.
- I see.....there's that doubt you shouldn't have any of, you must work on this. I simply cannot tell you how important belief is to your healing......if fact it is THE single most important step to healing
I know this is only prolonging my symptoms, and I try fight these thoughts by replying that nothing is physically wrong with me- but I keep having them.
- they're just thoughts by a scared little person inside of you......they are only thoughts. I'll let you in on a secret.....you don't have to believe your thoughts. They are simple bits of rubbish from the past that bubbles up. If they dont serve you then DON'T BELIEVE THEM.
I'm basically going in a giant circle. I should also add that I have always battled with low esteem, and I find myself constantly wanting to excercise to fit a certain image.
- Address the self esteem
http://recreateyourlife.com/store/natural-confidence.php
I try and tell myself that I'm fighting TMS for my own personal gain and relief, not just so that I can excercise and fit a certain image- but I feel like this may subconciously be a huge part of my drive to find relief. I feel like this self esteem issue is only fueling my TMS, and making it so much harder for me to fight this. But I literally can't help feeling this way. Is a low self worth going to be in the way of my TMS recovery? I feel like I will feel this way until I have relief and can excercise again- so yet again, a giant circle.
So my question for you is- was this what it was like for all of you when you started this journey? I don't know much about what happens after you realize that you have TMS, and I wonder if I'm going about this the wrong way. What do I do about this anxiety that I feel about my recovery? Do I keep exercising?
- too much thinking. Stop running away from your pain. If you focus on the pain you will only get more pain. Focus on healthy body, feeling great and happy life. Where you are currently is irrelevant keep your eyes ONLY ON THE GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also- whenever I try to stretch I don't really feel any sensation in my right side(side with symptoms), like I do in my left. However this is the side that is painful so I can't be numb and in pain at the same time, therefore it has to be TMS. However, this lack of sensation still makes me nervous. I'm so lost in this treatment.. I have no idea what to do next.
- Relax
Hope this helps
D |
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Bugbear
United Kingdom
152 Posts |
Posted - 09/11/2012 : 00:57:48
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| Km118, the thing that sticks out most from your post as quoted by Darko is your vocabulary. You use the words fight and battling as if it is a war you are engaging in. This reminds me of Ace1 talking about strain and how we can overcome it. He gives some great suggestions in his posts. So does Darko, Balto and SteveO. Keep reading these and others' positive messages to replace the instinct or habit to fight your symptoms. Learn new, more positive habits. |
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No relief yet... What am I doing wrong?
