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timmbell
USA
19 Posts |
 Posted - 08/12/2012 : 08:12:56
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| i read yesterday that you should ask your subconscious to tell you in your dreams what the problem is that it is dealing with. i did so before going to bed last night and had an incredibly vivid dream. it is a recurring dream that i often had but this one was in great detail. It all centers around the shame i felt as a child, boy, and as an adult of who i was and where i came from. I came from a lower middle class upbringing and was always ashamed of our house, our lives, etc. I carried this inferiority to college and beyond. i realize that i have this shame and that it has plagued me my entire life. Anybody else have these kinds of experiences in relation to TMS. I believe this is the root of all of my issues. |
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SteveO
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 09:01:39
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Yes, shame is at the root of much pain. And the most direct path to the unconscious is through the dream--although Freud felt it was through free association in his later years, he did say the dream was the royal road to the unconscious. Free association is where the "Freudian slip" came from, the sudden blurting out of something previously unknown that mat be lurking along the awareness horizon.
I always wondered why people/kids sat praying at the ends of their beds at night. But it seems they were onto something. The subjective psyche performs its highest functioning when the objective psyche is suspended in sleep or drowsy. The answers will rise to awareness more readily at this time.
I try to get people to do more pain work at night before sleep. The brain is more malleable, for want of a better word, before sleep, and more readily subject to change and also to giving up deeply hidden answers.
Steve |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 08/12/2012 : 09:57:51
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that's interesting. Years ago I started writing a "dream-diary". Fortunately I am able to remember most dreams in the morning. Perhaps I should restart noting down my dreams in the morning!
Birdie |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2012 : 07:26:34
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Absolutely! My parents (who were young and mixed-up themselves) used shame as a way of controlling us kids. For me, the effect was a feeling that I was inherently 'not right', and this translated into my body being 'not right' - I looked for things being wrong about myself, and they were always 'serious and unforgiveable/unhealable'. And the aches and pains that a normally robust person would shake off feel like a fire alarm to someone seeped in shame - it makes you hyper-alert.
At least I know this now!
Talking of dreams, I laugh sometimes at how literally they are processing what's gone on in the day, and the little, apparently meaningless things the mind picks up on. I used to get repeated dreams about being trapped in my childhood home, with no doors to the walls; more lately, I've had a good few dreams about giving my mother a thorough beating! Go, unconscious! |
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Birdie78
Germany
145 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2012 : 08:10:51
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Oh yes, shame is a big theme for me, too!
I'm just at the beginning of my TMS-journey. I feel shame has a big power over me wich I have to deal with! I feel shame about my condition, about feeling pain. When I suffer a lot of pain and friends ask me for a meeting I sometimes (mostly) tell them I don't have any time, I am busy. There's so much fear in me that others would not understand me or would say something stupid to me (like "brace yourself", "always I talk to you you're in pain, is that your hobby" and so on).There's big trouble with the relatives of my husband. Once they noticed I have chronic pain they offended me in a very bad manner. Telling me that they wish some healthy wife for my husband, not such a crippled women like me.
My parents always wanted me to be normal, to function, to let nobody know that there's something "wrong" with me inside. "Pull yourself together, there's no reason to suffer, look at those poor children in Africa, you're well!". With best regards from the SUPER-EGO!!! Good job, well done  ! My pain is like a stigma for me, I try to hide it. It's like a clear and explicit sign that there's something wrong with me, I am not able to function any longer and therefore not longer part of the community. Feeling leprous.
So I am sure that will be part and prior condition for the healing. Pain will not disappear as long as I hide it!!! Much to do.
And dreams sometimes are really funny. This night i dreamed I was a pregnant boy and the contractions just begun. I woke up realizing that I have menstrual cramps
Birdie |
Edited by - Birdie78 on 08/14/2012 08:19:36 |
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Ace1
USA
1040 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2012 : 08:53:07
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| Yes I agree w/ Steve on the sleep thing and this is why I recommended mind power techniques before and after sleep and as needed. THey have the most effect at these times definitely |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2012 : 09:30:07
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| Re: dreams and insomnia, I hate going to sleep, always had trouble falling a sleep, find sleep boring and stay up as late as I can. I've found, if I start reviewing what I learned during tennis practice I'm out like a light, or watching a tennis match on TV, late at night, same thing. Those blue courts Tiriac came up with at this years Madrid tournament were beautiful. It's like looking at the night time sky, each ball-mark and skid-mark was like a star or a meteorite. Unfortunately, tennis players HATE change and complained vehemently about it (except for Serena) and Tiriac will probably bail on them. It has nothing to do with the color, it's the texture and hopefully they can fix it and they will stay blue--hard-courts are all becoming blue and also at the majors--better for TV contrast. Re: shame, yes it'shameful--sorry for the digression and the distraction, but that's TMS. |
Edited by - tennis tom on 08/14/2012 09:37:58 |
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shame and tms
