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Kcsora
3 Posts |
 Posted - 06/20/2012 : 12:37:50
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As a brief intro, I have had severe hip and leg pain. After a year and a half of chiropractic care, physica therapy, and 4 spinal injections, the pain returned and I was at my wits end. Me being a nurse, did not want to have surgery. So I work with a neurosurgeon, who looked at my MRI and said there was nothing wrong with my spine?!?! What? Although mad at first for the apparent waste of time, it ended up being my step to reassurance that there was nothing wrong with my back. A friend refered me to dr Sarno book, which I devoured with the first glimmer of hope for relief.
A background on my emotional history, I have always been afraid to express hurt, or anger and wild rather stuff those emotions thinking this was the right thing to do. Then I was involved in an emotionally abusive relationship. Which took me 6 years to even recognize the blatant hurt I was feeling. The relationship wold have cyclical periods of everything is fine, then complete chaos. So me being the loyal type would try to stick with it and work things out each time. This was also how the pain started, about 6 years ago.
I was able to run through to run a marathon in 2010 with slight flair ups. However after it was over, the pain became excruciating to the point that exercise let alone living life was completely altered.
I have found relief since realizing the possible cause of anger and anxiety. I have started journaling as well as talking freey with others.
Basic concerns now,
During a flair up, I get angry at the pain. Any help to not respond to pain in anger?
As a mother of 4 kids under 9, life can be stressful at times. But how do I not let the stress of parenting, to now cause a flair up.
Thanks for Amy advice.
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/20/2012 : 14:17:12
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I'm a father of 2 under 2...while it's different...I can certainly relate to the stresses of rearing children when they seem to team up on your emotions! My advice...if a flare up happens (as it will tend to do), let it happen. Accept it for what it is and move on. It's easier said than done, for sure, but eventually you get used to that action. When you feel the pain, focus on what emotions there are...what emotions are evident? What emotions might not be so evident? Is there a trend in your life that might be causing you to react that way emotionally? THESE are the things your brain is trying to distract you from, so don't let the pain be a distraction. I'll give you an example...I've noticed that a lot of my anger and rage stems from a fear of loneliness. It's taken me some time to come to that realization...but that's a good percentage of the source of my pain.
As to not respond to the pain in anger...why avoid that? Go ahead and give your brain a good talkin'-to. Expressing anger isn't the problem...repressing it is. Acknowledge the anger. Inspect the anger. Determine why you are angry...are you angry because you feel pain or because the pain is keeping you from doing something you want to do? If it's keeping you from doing something you want to do...do it anyway. Don't let the pain be a distraction. If it's because you feel the pain, determine why THAT makes you angry. Focus on the emotion...don't hide from it. Eventually, you'll learn to accept the pain as what it is...a distraction and nothing more...and you'll be able to move past it.
Work on your inner peace in general. Find ways to discharge the anger...if you haven't read it...I highly recommend "The Great Pain Deception" by our very own SteveO (you can find it on amazon or on SteveO's website www.paindeception.com).
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Dustin |
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catmac
United Kingdom
57 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 13:56:36
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quote:
Originally posted by drh7900
...I've noticed that a lot of my anger and rage stems from a fear of loneliness.
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Dustin
Hi Dustin, totally with you on this one. I'm also sure my fear of loneliness is my biggest problem but dont know how to feel it and then 'let it go' (My elderly parents arent keeping too well and I'm filled with fear of losing them on a regular basis).
I also think Steve O's book is fantastic. I've been reading the second part of his book (the recovery part) over and over and I always get something new out of it every time I read it. It has helped me tremendously. My pain reduction is definately down to Steve and Dr Sarnos books.
I enjoy your posts on here, keep up the good work
Cat |
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drh7900
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 14:57:28
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Cat - I wish I could come up with something brilliant to say about how to feel it and let it go...but if you have elderly parents who aren't keeping too well, it's something your id is probably throwing a tantrum about and you're not likely to be able to "let go" any time soon...and the best thing I can suggest is find other ways to allow it to discharge such as meditation, exercise, relaxation...something. It's one thing to have experienced loneliness in the past...it's quite another to be living in "anticipation" of it. As is commonly said throughout different TMS literature...you don't have to change it...just understand it. Trying to ignore the emotional pain is one of the things that causes the physical pain to kick in.
That said, you must recognize that it's ok to feel fear of losing them. It's ok to feel the sadness and loneliness. Most importantly...IT'S OK TO FEEL. That's the important thing. Feel...and find a way to discharge.
And thanks for the compliment...compliments do an ego (or id?) good :)
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Dustin |
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