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menvert
Australia
133 Posts |
 Posted - 02/18/2005 : 18:22:51
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hiya all,
In recent times I've had near exceptional progress .
but now there are some real changes happening in my life . I suppose it's natural to get some strong symptoms .
For at least a month now, symptoms have not in any significant way affected my life. But as of about five days ago I have started to get pain in the top of my hands again...(this particular area is the newest pain I've ever had) I believe my brain has chosen it as a great spot because all my other symptom areas I am well experienced at disarming. But the top of my hands being a new area it's hard to dis-arm.
And just today it has become overwhelmingly apparent painfully.. it is not super painful, but it's enough that I can't stop noticing it most of the day. And I have been having those ' undesirable' thoughts about should I go to a doctor and get some anti-inflammatory painkillers, which I regrettably did once in this area of pain.
OK now to the important stuff .
what has happened in the last week?
-->>I have been audited by the tax department, because another government department sent me incorrect information when I did my tax return two years ago...
-->> I have just begun on a new job, volunteer work at the moment at a university IT call centre/helpdesk. part time 3x4 hours a week. It's basically the perfect job to test my ability to work . I did my first four-hour shift, and I had no problems . I was concerned, I would not be able to type as much as required but the only symptom I got was a sore back and I don't care about that.
-->> more significantly, this job requires social interaction, which is about a hundred times more powerful in giving me issues/fears as the job itself is. Part of the reason I've taken this job that was to push through my social fears and my physical fears to prove that I can actually do some part-time work.
-->> my father has been staying for the last two days . although that's not an unpleasant experience consciously. interaction with my dad does seem to come up over and over as a trigger to symptoms....
-->> Also I was trying to help my not IT savvy mum sign up for EBAY over the phone and it wasn't working(I only just remember this now) but that was two days ago when my dad was here . just after I did my shift at work, so it may be more significant than I thought.
-->> another thing is . I have become bored with my selection of computer games.... playing computer games has been my ' alternative distraction to TMS pain' playing computer games has for me been (doing a physical activity . I would not be Al to do is my pain was physical) , and it is also something which is so engrossing that my brain does not need to create distraction. So now I have far more opportunities to get bored. And a lot more opportunities for my brain to create pain.
Welll , I did not expect to be such a long post but hey, there were more events in my life than I figured. So after writing that am not surprised I have some symptoms . it's just difficult at the moment, this one is quite intrusive and was getting worse, which is worrying.
Not to mention the fact that if this pain gets in the way of my getting back to working,it is going to piss me off severely and knock me back a great deal.
In the shower this morning I was getting quite emotional . even saying things to my brain like 'I would rather kill you than have to go back to the horrible pain place I was 18 months ago... so stop this nonsense now!' I DONT wanna backtrack now, after I felt like I finally made it out of the better part of it.! |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2005 : 19:53:00
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In HBP Sarno sayd when an attack seemingly comes out of nowhere,the immediate place to look is at family issues because of their subtlety.
I though it interesting that you mentioned your dad near the end of the list.....I'd suspect you Father under your roof as source number one,the Tax thing as number two,and the job thing 3rd.
Overall though,you're under the shadow of a whole handfull of TMS manufacturers...new job(fear,stress) taxes(terror) Family (anger)....Of Course you got a new symptom.
I have to review the book before my mom comes to stay.....she was staying over the weekend I hit the emergency room for the last time before Sarno...
Family first for all "mystery" relapses
peace
Baseball65 |
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menvert
Australia
133 Posts |
Posted - 02/19/2005 : 01:44:18
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Yes thanks, indeed, i am now wondering, it does seem that time spent with my father is all too frequently before some pain simptoms.
Consciously it isn't , much of a problem, but It seems i do have lots unconcious stuff :)
i have noted several times in the past where I atributed pain to my dad.... hmmm That added with the other stressors does add up to stronger pain than ive had in months :)
now my right side is trying to hurt too, as im not giving my left much notice anymore :)) the fun of watching my TMS/brain in action. |
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need to vent, strong simptoms
