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happystar
22 Posts |
 Posted - 03/29/2012 : 12:22:55
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Hello everyone.
I just listened to an interview of Dr. Sarno on youtube. Pretty cool and interesting stuff.
He mentions anger as one of the main emotions repressed in the subconscious but he also said it might be sadness/hurt as well. Has anyone experienced that finding a way to express your sadness/grieving was the "cure" of your TMS symptoms?
Thanks so much |
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Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 15:52:41
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Thanks,I’m really glad you posted this. I believe grief can play a very strong role in TMS because, like anger, displaying grief in our culture is uncomfortable, so it’s repressed.
I can’t relate a cure to my TMS by expressing sorrow, but I can share something that happened just recently. A little over two weeks ago we lost an eleven year old (still in her prime) mare my daughter had raised and trained since a weanling. One gorgeous afternoon she was romping and bucking in the field with another mare-mate, and just four days later the vet was leading her around the barn to be euthanized. It was a sudden & devastating shock and I tried to keep myself together for the sake of my daughter, work, etc., but my ‘Fibromyalgia’ symptoms flared big time.
One day last week, when symptoms were at their worst, I was alone and intensely felt the loss of the horse; I began wailing and sobbing, really just let the grief go wherever it wanted……my sadness over the mare morphed into other animals we’ve lost, people I’ve loved & lost... It was a brief catharsis and the intense pain that had been building up dissipated long enough that I’m certain my TMS is as related to long buried grief as much as anger and other unacknowledged, un-worked-through emotions. (Maybe, in addition to daily meditation, a lot of us need a good daily cry!)
FWIW, deep sorrow, like that over the loss of an animal or anything not universally sanctioned as legitimate, is called ‘disenfranchised grief’. There’s a book available on it, but its limited stock prices it way beyond my budget. |
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happystar
22 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 16:26:56
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Thanks for your message Erata, this helps me. You see, I am the kind of person that has really never expressed anger. I hardly get angry to the point of yelling or slamming a door. But I have been very sad many times in my life. Recently I had to end a toxic relationship, and I think I have not grieved properly. I think this is adding to my symptoms. So this is why I posted the question.
I will work on the anger, my therapist told me I absolutely had to. But I will also work on the sadness and hurt.
Love and light to you
[:)*
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theohiostateq
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 17:36:23
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I saw this quote today: "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
We're all challenged on so many fronts, but love and kindness will save us.
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2012 : 18:09:05
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Happystar,
Absolutely! I would say sadness has been a bigger part of TMS than anger for me. Even to this day if I do certain things that allows my emotion to come out I find I end up crying....and then I feel soooo much better.
Sadness, worry, anger, anxiety....all play a part IMO.
D |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2012 : 04:31:55
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Erata, I'm sorry for the loss of your mare. Yes, eleven is young, but it sounds like she had a beautiful life right up close to the end - the way they race around the field like that really conveys their pure joy in living, doesn't it?! - and I hope you will take comfort from having giving that lovely creature the very best care that you could. Not letting them suffer is part of that.
But I can understand your sadness, and I think you are spot-on about it being a catharsis. I think our love and deep connection to animals can be a 'safety valve' for our feelings. They do say that people who have pets have better health, blood pressure etc. And when adults say that the death of a pet 'teaches children something about life', it's not just a glib phrase.
But the life of an animal teaches us something about life too! When the pain fades, you'll still have happy memories about your mare. She sounds like she was a happy horse!
Thinking of you, Joy
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Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2012 : 09:28:32
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Thanks so much Joy I Am for your kind words. It was my daughter who took good care of her, not me—I just enjoyed watching them, which I miss terribly. I’ve been with a lot of animals during their final moments in this realm, and it’s always powerful to witness, but nothing compares with a horse. They’re such beautiful and majestic beasts, and to watch one fall is overwhelming. It happens so quickly……….
I agree that living with pets is good for health in many ways, but considering the number with whom I share my home, I should feel like Atlas! (Living with and loving animals does tend to bring a guaranteed future loss because we humans live longer than they do.) Sometimes I think I shouldn’t live on a farm; I’m sure that’s part of the inner conflict I struggle with and drives, at least in part, my experience of TMS! |
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Sadness/Grieving
