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Neo Veloci
Netherlands
15 Posts |
 Posted - 03/22/2012 : 13:42:43
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This is me being totally honest.
I'm pissed off right now. I'm having a bad day. I'm on my 11th day of the educational tms wiki and I feel stuck.
After finishing Dr. Sarno's book 11 days ago I felt hopeful. Right now I just feel angry and frustrated.
I know my rsi is tms and I'm trying to journal to face my demons. I'm not having a lot of trouble coming up with stuff that's bothering me, both in the past and in the now. Problem is, now what?
I feel angry and down and don't know what to do next. Part of me is angry about what happened to me in the past and wants to feel the sadness underneath to get better. But then I feel guilty about whining about some stuff that happened so long ago and shouldn't matter anymore, or can't be solved today anyway.
So what do I do now? I'm sure I could bend the negativity spiral back to positivity but isn't that just my inner parent trying to rationalize things? Won't my inner child still be angry and keep my pain level up?
Please help me if you can. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 03/22/2012 : 16:21:26
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Hi Neo,
Ok, try this. Many with TMS have detached their ability to deal with individual feelings. The feelings no longer get processed, and the bad feelings collect in the rage pool.
So when you have a thought associated with a feeling, stop, hold that thought in your mind for 15-30 seconds. Feel what that emotion is like, (fear, sadness, loneliness, anger), then drop it, let it go. I model this by holding a cupped hand upward while I feel the emotion for that length of time, then mimic throwing away an object into the waste bin. This technique has been helpful for me over the last couple months dealing with anxiety (thanks Darko !).
In addition to the above, try to practice "mindfullness" (do some google searches). Think in the now, not the past or the future. Say, "What is going on right now ?", and experience your current surroudings. This helps your from playing the past movie over and over again, and playing the future movie, over and over again. You ask, "How do you know I'm playing the movie" ? I dont know 100% that you are, but its very likely you are since that cycle is part of the TMS distraction, the over and over and over agian part.
Lastly, "Feelings are not fact". Just because your mind has an emotion, the feeling is just a concept in your mind, you don't have to treat it like the end of the world. Its just a couple electrical blips in your brain. Just because your brain thinks something doesnt mean the thought is going to run you life. Keep the important ones and discard the emotions that dont matter. Hate and anger are poison, let them go (thanks Darko !).
Shout at your brain, Neo. Tell your brain you are pissed off and that you are not taking it any more.
Take care,
-Stryder
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Artgal5986
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - 03/23/2012 : 05:13:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Neo Veloci
This is me being totally honest.
I'm pissed off right now. I'm having a bad day. I'm on my 11th day of the educational tms wiki and I feel stuck.
After finishing Dr. Sarno's book 11 days ago I felt hopeful. Right now I just feel angry and frustrated.
I know my rsi is tms and I'm trying to journal to face my demons. I'm not having a lot of trouble coming up with stuff that's bothering me, both in the past and in the now. Problem is, now what?
I feel angry and down and don't know what to do next. Part of me is angry about what happened to me in the past and wants to feel the sadness underneath to get better. But then I feel guilty about whining about some stuff that happened so long ago and shouldn't matter anymore, or can't be solved today anyway.
So what do I do now? I'm sure I could bend the negativity spiral back to positivity but isn't that just my inner parent trying to rationalize things? Won't my inner child still be angry and keep my pain level up?
Please help me if you can.
I am pissed off too! I have been doing the wiki program, following another program in another book, and going to a hypnotist to try to get my pain under control. I still have no relief. I feel frustrated and am sick of all this pain. I have never had it as bad as I have for the past 7 months. I always have annoying pain, but this is constant and not relenting and I am out of options.
Erica |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 03/23/2012 : 07:50:18
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@ Stryder...nice work mate, you sound like you're coming along just nicely. You make me proud! 
Neo & Artgirl,
This could turn into t big post but as it's almost midnight I'll keep it to the point and add more tomorrow night.
Take a look at your expectations! You had it look a certain way in your mind and it didn't turn out that way....now you have the sh*ts. Where else do you do this in your life? This causes you pain and suffering. When you look at it its really childish behaviour that our little 5yr old inner child perpetuates. Obviously this doesn't serve you!
You're resisting the situation, and trying to force the result. This will NEVER EVER happen with regards to TMS as you're generating tension right now. Could you allow the situation to be as it is, and take as long as it takes? All you need to do is focus on the emotional work.
Process the feelings....that's the "what now?" Allow yourself to process the feelings consciously....that's it.
focus on that and the rest will fall into place.
Good luck
D |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 03/23/2012 : 08:18:04
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Neo,
I just have a moment right now, but you might find the "EBT /Solution Method of Journaling" helpful ... about expressing angry's, sad's, afraid's, guilty's and then coming up w/ a more "reasonable expectation" about whatever it is ... There is a thread where we had talked about this approach:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6231
It is about expressing all the feelings *and then* bringing in a nurturing inner parent to help in a positive way... but NOT before you have had a chance to express all your feelings...
This method, I think, is an extension/comes from John Gray's (of "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" fame) "Feelings Letters".
Hope this helps! (I have found the whole EBT /Solution Method very helpful over the years.) |
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MainEventMike
USA
26 Posts |
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Neo Veloci
Netherlands
15 Posts |
Posted - 03/25/2012 : 10:36:11
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Thanks guys. Your tips helped.
The next day I woke up with painful rsi symptoms (painful under arms), but with a calm mind.
I searched this forum for some more tips and found several older posts of Stryder and Darko helped as well.
Now, when I feel anger coming up, I'll try to not start the negative thoughts spiral which make it worse, but just consciously feel the emotion and let go of it.
The challenge will be in the letting go. 
But what I would still like some more opinions on, is on the child/parent equation.
As I said before: I'm sure I could bend the negativity spiral back to positivity but isn't that just my inner parent trying to rationalize things? Won't my inner child still be angry and keep my pain level up? |
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Dr. Zafirides
189 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2012 : 22:01:07
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quote:
Originally posted by Neo Veloci
This is me being totally honest.
I'm pissed off right now. I'm having a bad day. I'm on my 11th day of the educational tms wiki and I feel stuck.
After finishing Dr. Sarno's book 11 days ago I felt hopeful. Right now I just feel angry and frustrated.
I know my rsi is tms and I'm trying to journal to face my demons. I'm not having a lot of trouble coming up with stuff that's bothering me, both in the past and in the now. Problem is, now what?
I feel angry and down and don't know what to do next. Part of me is angry about what happened to me in the past and wants to feel the sadness underneath to get better. But then I feel guilty about whining about some stuff that happened so long ago and shouldn't matter anymore, or can't be solved today anyway.
So what do I do now? I'm sure I could bend the negativity spiral back to positivity but isn't that just my inner parent trying to rationalize things? Won't my inner child still be angry and keep my pain level up?
Please help me if you can.
Neo,
The underlying emotions that serve as the fuel of TMS will utilize the pain as a distraction instead of letting them escape into consciousness. These emotions may be anger, they may be anxiety, but often times they don't make it to the surface. Often the best relief is found by just understanding these emotions ARE, without trying to pinpoint them. The goal isn't to figure out the specific issue or emotion, but to recognize that - no matter the emotion - pain of TMS is a distraction from that emotion.
If we can identify the specific issue, great. But awareness of the specific conflict is rarely necessary - and may be too hard to accurately pinpoint.
-Dr. Zafirides
Kindly,
Peter Zafirides, MD
http://www.thehealthymind.com |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2012 : 08:08:21
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IMO the fear of the pain symptoms is the true "fuel" of tms/anxiety. Without fear it can't hold our attention, and without our attention how can the pain distracted us successfully? So understanding alone will not "cure" you. You will be "cure" Only when you can fully elliminate your fear of your symptoms.
Journaling will only help a very few, the few that understood that journaling is to help them believe that their symptoms is psychosomatic and not physical. For most others, journaling only brought back bad memories and will only worsen or prolong their symptoms.
Only treatment method that elliminate our fear of the symptoms or stop us from focusing on our symptoms will cure us, IMO. |
Edited by - balto on 04/02/2012 08:09:38 |
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Neo Veloci
Netherlands
15 Posts |
Posted - 04/02/2012 : 08:38:54
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Zafirides
quote:
Originally posted by Neo Veloci
I feel angry and down and don't know what to do next. I'm sure I could bend the negativity spiral back to positivity but isn't that just my inner parent trying to rationalize things? Won't my inner child still be angry and keep my pain level up?
Often the best relief is found by just understanding these emotions ARE, without trying to pinpoint them. The goal isn't to figure out the specific issue or emotion, but to recognize that - no matter the emotion - pain of TMS is a distraction from that emotion.
If we can identify the specific issue, great. But awareness of the specific conflict is rarely necessary - and may be too hard to accurately pinpoint.
-Dr. Zafirides
Thank you for your reply! So are you saying journalling about past events isn't necessary? I should just be aware of my emotions when they come up? Any tips how to handle them in the best way? |
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Okay, I'm feeling my anger. Now what?
