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balaenoptera
Germany
15 Posts |
 Posted - 03/04/2012 : 10:55:15
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HI
I would like to hear your opinion about coping with the pain, especially when it’s right there during activity. In particular I’m stumbling upon ignoring the pain vs accepting/allowing it. I have just finished Mindbody Prescription and I have ordered Claire Weekes Hope and Help for Your Nerves.
Dr. Sarno states (amongst other things) that you should always be aware that your pain is emotionally induced and that you should not let it intimidate you. Also you should not focus on the physical but always think psychologically. But isn’t the latter a strategy of ignoring the pain? Like when you are active, the pain comes, and you try to distract from the pain, by thinking about what might have made you angry?
I have found an article by TMS coach Abigail Steidley about allowing the pain. And although I have not yet read Claire Weekes book, I know that her main strategy of coping with anxiety is also to allow/accept it. So now I’m a little confused about the right strategy. And how you use it during activity when the pain and anxiety is there all the time. Should you try to feel it and say to yourself: I’m allowing it, this is just TMS and will do me no harm? Should you do this all the time or just from time to time?
Any suggestions?
Best
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guej
115 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2012 : 12:36:08
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Trying to ignore the pain never worked for me. What finally worked was allowing it to be there. It's a subtle distinction, but what I found to be, an important one. I couldn't get there by following the Sarno "think psychological" route alone.
After about a year or more of doing the textbook Sarno approach, I read Claire Weekes and then read a more recent book by Paul David "At Last a Life". Both are about anxiety, but I felt that the reaction I had to oncoming pain was very similar to how people brace themselves against feelings of anxiety. It just reinforces the fear and the dread. Ignoring it was like trying to ignore the pink elephant in the room.
The Paul David book explains very well how to just let the symptoms be there and over time, they lose their power, and subsequently fade. That is exactly what finally happened for me after 2 years of non-stop pain. For me, it was also about getting off of pain medication. Even though I was on a very small dose, it took the edge off everyday and made my life tolerable. After reading Paul David's book, I knew I had to get off of pain pills and learn to just "be" with the pain or I would never get past it. Oddly, I had to allow more pain initially for it to fizzle out, and that's the best way I can describe it. Once I got used to it and didn't fear it as much or look for that quick relief (which I was mentally dependent upon), it lost it's energy. Not quickly, but over time.
It's hard to see the difference between ignore and accept because when I was trying to ignore the pain, I thought I was accepting it but I really wasn't. You'll get it over time. Even now, when I have some aches and pains that would have otherwise blown up in the past, I just sort of shrug my shoulder and think "this will pass...whatever...", and it does go away. I don't add fuel to that fire anymore by fighting it or being defiant and mentally pushing through.
I hope this makes sense. It took me awhile and many attempts at different approaches before I found what worked for me. |
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balaenoptera
Germany
15 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2012 : 14:08:07
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Hi guej
Thanks for your helpful post! But how did you practice that? For example: imagine that you work in the garden and it hurts all the time. Do you focus all the time on the pain and say to yourself: I allow the pain...? Or is it rather by developing the attitude, that you reinforce from time to time through affirmations?
Best |
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bryan3000
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2012 : 20:51:43
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Good post, guej.
In fact, Claire Weekes often spoke specifically of NOT trying to make yourself think of something else. ("How could you not, you've been doing so for so long.")
Totally agree, the distinction is subtle, and acceptance is very different than just ignoring... though there is an eventual element of ignoring that arises from accepting. A little tricky, but makes sense when you put it into practice.
Balenoptera,
Claire Weekes' books basically gave me the boost that I needed to get my life back on track. I'm nowhere near 100%, though I'm convinced to this day that if when I had my first medically-induced panic attack the doctor would have just handed me a copy of Hope and Help for your Nerves instead of a script for Ativan, I would be close to 100% today. I'm obviously a huge fan of hers and you're making a great choice with the book. I suggest seeking out ALL of her work, including the audio. Keep in mind, she speaks more about anxiety than pain... but they're birds of a feather.
To me, a flowchart of pain management could look something like this...
Recognition of pain > immediate reminder to self that this is of a psychological basis > activate knowledge that it is not harmful > immediately resume activity with the goal of placing attention in other areas
So, some acceptance... some recognition and some distraction. (Normally-paced distraction. The kinds of things you'd do with no pain.) I don't think Sarno was suggesting that we stay focused on our pain at all.... rather, that we install the knowledge into our brains like software and then just let it run in the background.
That installation can take various lengths of time for everyone, I believe.
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Ignoring vs allowing/accepting pain
