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stevep
106 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 20:54:12
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The notion just dawned on me. I remember seeing my father with back pain pretty much my entire life. Even to this day he suffers from it. And I know for a fact that he is the same as me (or I as him rather) when it comes to repressing the ever loving hell out of our emotions. I always thought he was just a champ when it came to dealing with my mother, but I now know that he was most definitely angry as can be deep down inside. Plus who knows what other emotions.
I brought up Sarno to him when I first learned of his work. He told me he has a copy of his first book, but never really gave it much effort or even read the whole thing I imagine. Some people are really not willing to put in the work for themselves I guess. Anyway, do any of you have any similar thoughts about your parents or children for that matter? And should I be blaming my father for this hellish syndrome?! |
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Tippy
31 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 22:05:36
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I highly doubt if this thing is genetic. I DO know that it comes from having a childhood background that can be domineering or a lack of love or approval. I say this because if it were genetic I would think there is something medically that could be done that doctors would understand. Interesting thought though I could be wrong.
Stephanie |
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stevep
106 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 22:16:55
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A childhood with a lack of love or approval describes me to a freakin T... |
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Tippy
31 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 22:36:55
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Well I had all of the love that was not a problem. Mine was the approval my mother was not a touchy feely type of person and I am (people pleaser) classic TMS personality. My mother hugged me and kissed me as a child but as I got older (only when she drank) did she show affection OR scream at me I didnt know which one I was going to get! Its funny how the domineering confident types dont seem to get TMS the nice people do! Maybe their brains are so strong and stubborn they dont allow anything to conquer them. I also noticed those types dont obsess over things. I try really hard not to obsess over this and although I feel I am 95 percent cured I go back to those books to learn more and this forum. Im like a sponge I want to learn all that I can. It took me a few months to even accept this but after I read the books and got better I learned its true that knowledge is power.
Stephanie |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 22:42:14
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I must say that I do think that a certain body-type or constitutional type is more likely to display certain kinds of TMS - like the fibromyalgia stuff I have. There is some evidence for a category of about 15% of every population being the "Highly Sensitive Peeps" which populations need to act like canaries in the coalmine...
Something I think that my whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others (quote by Ashley Brilliant)
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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lynnl
USA
109 Posts |
Posted - 02/21/2012 : 22:46:13
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I would think environment would be a far greater factor than genetics.
Certainly harsh, abusive early experiences would seem to predispose one to it; but also any sort of upbringing that encourages suppressing emotions would have the same effect. ...I would think.
Dr. Sarno, in one of his books, offers his speculation that virtually everyone is probably affected to some degree. That's my thought too. It seems everyone I've ever met had some ailment, mostly mild but some severe, that I'm now inclined to classify as a form of TMS.
Lynn |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 01:27:17
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Genetics hey? Is that thinking physical or emotional?
Environment is the only thing that's important....and your response/thoughts around it.
D
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rbart4506
Canada
37 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 06:04:04
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See this is what I find odd...
I grew up in a household where emotions were not held in, especially anger! There was no repression of anger...If you were pissed at someone you let them know...Maybe that's the problem :)
I wouldn't say it was abusive, there wasn't a lot of name calling, but it was loud...
My mother was very good at showing love, maybe a little too much...While my dad was a bit more stand offish, but deep down you knew he did...
The thing too is when I think back my mother had so many ailments that bothered her. She had hand, arm, knee and stomach issues that I'm sure were 'TMS' related. My parent's moved to Canada before I was born and left a pretty good life in Portugal. My mom use to always talk about that and I think there was some resentment there and repressed emotions about that situation.
Myself, I quickly learned after the ending of my first marriage that I needed to calm down. And I did, but maybe too much stuff was being held in....Or, maybe it's just stuff from that period of time that I have not fully explored...
I must admit I'm not very proud of some of my behaviour from those years...
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stevep
106 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 08:54:38
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I guess I sort of meant genetic in an emotional way, not a physical way. Like, I unwillingly got his character traits that breeds the perfect setting for TMS. I shoulda clarified that. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 09:15:04
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That would be cultural not genetic. It's the age old question : "nature" or "nurture"? |
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 11:35:09
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Many ailments are blamed on genetics and or bad genes, possibly some may be the case. Genes do play a roll on in our makeup, immune systems and physical characteristics. However I think its it’s a poor excuse for folks to say my mom had high blood pressure, or bad cholesterol and my Gramps had a bad back… many on my moms side of family have thyroid issues, overweight and have bad knees ..yada yaya yada …. So that’s my reason and excuse for the way I am… Now I need to take meds do what they did, be careful not to get what they had cuz it runs in the family.
Fwiw in some cases there may be a genetic predisposition however in many cases you will have some sort of stimuli or environmental trigger that sets off a condition.
Bad genes are a poor excuse for one not to do the hard work and get better. People born with many birth defects over come some amazing obstacles . They want to do better and beat the odds of what they have been told about their condition. Its amazing what happens to us in what we believe And more amazing when someone has the drive to do something different.
my .02 cents Kenny V
Always Hope For Recovery
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BecB
30 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2012 : 17:37:32
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Hello,
I wonder this too. My dad is an alcoholic, my mom had a lot of anxiety disorders. I think that my nervous system is a lot more wound up then most people. I have thought that there may not be enough of that GABA stuff in my brain genetically. I look at people who don't really feel and are more of the oblivious type and honeslty feel so jealous. I think I feel everything too vividly and am naturally hard on myself. In summary, I think genetics do play a part but that is the case in everything I guess.
Becca |
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SteveO
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2012 : 15:03:29
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Great question, I asked this 10 years ago about TMS being genetic. Psychologists and psychiatrists and Dr. Sarno and Dr. Sopher, et. al., kept repeatedly saying to me, "TMS is NOT genetic!" It is environmental. They were adament. The confusion I believe is that we see families with heart problems, back problems, families with the "same" problems. Our environment through our senses is much more powerful than we understand, but I also raised the point, that we may genetically hold anger in certain parts of our bodies, such as the heart, or dermis, or backs or even systems. So is TMS genetic? No. Do we inherently store anger in certain areas of our mindbodies? Maybe, since there are no absolutes we can surmise that there is some combination we aren't aware of, but TMS as we know it is not by nature since we see healings on a consistent basis--we therefore know that we "see" deeply with our senses and we mimic acccordingly, memetics at work outside of full awareness. |
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2012 : 16:07:52
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In my opion I think it is more like a learned behavior. We growing up learning how to react to events and situations the same way grown ups around us do. We cried with our mom, watching sad movies. We cursed with our dad at people who cut us off on the road. We got mad, we got angry, we this and we that just like our parents and siblings do. So it wouldn't be a surprise whatever emotion bothered them would also bothered us too.
We are the products of our environment. A kid in a war torned country like Iraq wouldn't be bother much looking at a dead body with guts hanging out and blood all over. While a kid raised in the US would cried looking at his dead gold fish or pet bird. |
Edited by - balto on 02/23/2012 17:56:15 |
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andy64tms
USA
589 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2012 : 16:40:23
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Balto, you are right. I have a pet saying. "We are the sum total of every minute of our lives up to this point in time". And another "you become like your sourroundings and the people you associate with".
Andy |
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