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yash
Sweden
2 Posts |
 Posted - 11/24/2011 : 18:28:51
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Hi everyone!
I haven't spent too much time on this forum lately, and I think that means that I'm ready to tell my story.
Actually I never wrote here before, but I've read a lot on here, and in the beginning these stories was a very big thing for me to get the right thinking going so I just wanna share and I hope it helps someone else. There's so much I could tell about this, and before I actually thought of writing a book, because there's nothing on this subject to read in Swedish. Anyways, I'll try to keep it short and with the essentials.
English is not my native language and there's a lot in my head on this subject, so I might get stuff wrong.
I'm a young man from Sweden who started getting some troubles with my arms in June 2010. At the time I was working with something I really love, graphics and animation, but at a place I hated. First time I could feel it, I took some pills for the pain and it went away.. second time I used the pills again and some gel. The third time I was stuck. This is when people really told me that I might have a severe problem, and everyone I knew told me to take it easy and not use my arm. So I did.
After resting for about 2 weeks, nothing changed and I started looking for treatments.
Nothing helped and it was getting worse with time. After seeing a doctor, 2 physiotherapists, and a chiropractor I kind of gave up. This wasn't helping. They had me start exercising, stretching and rolling on balls with my back and sleeping with stuff. I used braces for my arms and all crazy stuff.
I was living abroad during this time and couldn't work at all, so I finally had to move back to Sweden to live with my parents again. This is where things get really bad.
Before any of this I was loving life and everything in it. When I moved back to Sweden I wasn't the same happy guy anymore.. my self confidence had dropped very low. (I did get insanely good at kicking a football in the backyard though. Since everything else I did with my hands did hurt, this was the only fun I had for some months.)
Anyways..
Moving back to my parents, losing my job, giving up on my dreams, carrier, no money, no fun, all of my friends that used to live in my parents village had moved some where else.. This was my life. I hated it and everything about it.
I didn't do **** for half a year when living there. All I did was to watch movies, and sleep. kind of.
All my life I loved to draw, paint, play guitar, drums, bass... NOPE said the hands, you're not doing that anymore.
People started joking about that some artists drew with their feet. You could imagine that feeling.
After moving there, I saw even more doctors, and therapists and I tried electrical devices and some weird hammer machine that made a lot of pain. nothing helped.
I had used all my last money on medical treatments and trying all kinds of humbug that's available out there.
I was so depressed and doctors where telling me to give up on my dreams of being an animator or graphical designer, cause I wasn't gonna be doing that in the future. This felt like the end of my life. I had nothing at all. and then...
I found a text document on my laptop that I downloaded about a year earlier from some TMS site. First time I read it a year earlier it was a text full of **** to me.. but after going through all this, and trying everything.. suddenly this text made soooo much sense. my personality, my symptoms.. I swear that was a spot on description of me as a person.
Ordered John Sarnos books the same day, and also found this forum. The next day it was already a bit better!
I read the books and started journaling and applying this mind set on everything. I also allowed myself to get angry in situations where I usually don't. I started using my old playstation and was so happy that I managed to play for a short while. I did go a bit too fast though and had a set back, but I never doubted and just kept pushing. I told everyone I knew about this and wasn't ashamed at all about it. Some people thought I was an idiot, but hey should I care? who's the one missing out on healing, me or them?
2 months later I started my own animation/design business and I'm still going! I can still feel my hands just a little sometimes, but It can go months before I get reminded of it, and it goes away the same day.
I did develop seborrhea during this whole part of my life. It comes and goes since then, but never left completely. It doesn't restrict me of living my life as my arms did so I haven't cared too much. I guess I was so happy being able to live again that I didn't care. I know it's TMS related, cause it gets worse when I'm down and disappear when I'm happy and living my life. Are there anyone who got the same problem? or similar? Would be glad for some response on that one.
This turned out so much longer than I thought, and I still left out so much!
I hope it was readable and that it might help someone.
Feel free to ask me anything, or get in contact.
Take care!
/Yash
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Tippy
31 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2011 : 12:02:06
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Good for you! Im glad to hear this.
Stephanie |
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aran451
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2011 : 15:38:04
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| Great to hear your story!! I am getting ready to post a success story soon and it is great inspiration to read yours. I can totally relate to your feeling of getting your life back. TMS can be such a soul sucker, it is a wonderful thing to discover it's cause and get back to life! |
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Mayita
Spain
29 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2011 : 14:39:17
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CongratulTions Yash!
I do understand what you went through and am very happy to hear you are smiling now.
Good job and Good Luck!!
Seize the day, Carpe Diem! |
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yash
Sweden
2 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2012 : 16:51:40
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Hey guys! I'm glad that you feel with me. I hope someone had some use of this. I haven't been thinking about TMS for a long time and that's why I don't hang out here so often anymore.
When reading this again today I feel like a ****ty person for feeling sorry for myself when things are bad in my life today even though I'm pain free. I forget that I was so low during this part of my life and now I get reminded of it. I'm so grateful for all stories shared by the people on this forum.
Take care.
/Yash |
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MsMetaP
USA
5 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2012 : 07:12:53
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Your story is a great inspiration, Yash! I'm also a graphic designer/webmaster and I could certainly identify with your story. Keep up the good work!
Grateful to be here! |
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How I got my life back. (RSI, 22 male)
