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Taalian
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - 10/20/2011 : 22:41:16
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Hi, my name is Ronnie and i have been suffering from TMS for the last 5 years of my life. My TMS manifests itself in extreme back pain, CTS, RSI, and Insomnia. It wasn't until about two and a half weeks ago that i discovered Dr. John Sarnos book "The Mindbody Prescription" and came to the realization that this was definitely what was going on with me (nothing else had worked like many others i was seeking a physical solution). So now that i am on my road to recovery, i have noticed a huge improvement in my back pain (still there but not like it used to be) but not really much improvement from my CTS/RSI in my arms and wrists. It seems like when i try confronting my fears of being on a computer or playing a video games for long periods of time sets off all sorts of pain in my wrists. I try to stop and focus on how i am being in the moment but I'm finding it really hard to discover my feelings. I stopped all treatments aimed at fixing my physical body and just had a few questions. 10 days ago i stopped taking my prescription of 10mg Norcos, and am finally starting to feel better from that escapade. However, I'm wondering if that could be one of the reasons I'm having a hard time knowing how I'm feeling, because i haven't been feeling in so long. The feelings i have i do my best to identify and stay with until they subside, trying not to allow them to escape my focus and become repressed. Another thing i would like to mention (and i hope I'm not judged) I have been a heavy pot smoker for about 10 years. I know that this is a form of self medication for things like boredom, sadness, anxiety, pain, and helps me sleep at night, could this be allowing my TMS to stay alive in me? If so and i stop, will i have to stop forever? Or if i resume once the pain has been banished from my life, will the TMS return? I have really really cut down a lot, and it is helping me become more clear headed and allow myself to feel. But i also use it for spiritual reasons so its a conflict. I could really just use some help, a point in the right direction, as the pain has been holding me in a prison for too long, and i want my life back! Thank you so much for your time,
Ronnie :D |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2011 : 11:07:28
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My take: Taper off the pot, increase exercise. There is a definite PAIN in becoming present when we've been checked out. It will come up as physical if we have a huge resistance to the emotional. Do lots of journalling. Invite your "body" (which is really your unconscious) to express itself on the page instead of through symptoms - whether they are to distract you or to substitute for the emotional pain.
Emotional pain sucks, but it beats the alternative, which is never really becoming present in our lives. What is the point of going through all this - getting born, puberty, dealing with the world, and so on, if we are not here for it?
People I know who have done a lot of pot and then quit DO survive. I remember a line from a movie ("Postcards From The Edge") in which someone says to Meryl Streep, who has just come off some drug or other, "You look better, and you look worse." Sometimes we have to go through what seems to be worse in order to get ourselves back and feel better.
Good luck.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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aran451
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2011 : 12:33:52
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Ronnie,
You are finally on the right path. I would not worry, you are only 2-1/2 weeks into your journey. It will take some time to shift the subconscious pain patterns that have caused you to suffer for so long. But you have to do the work. For me that means reading as many books as I can (Sarno, Amir, Brady, etc) to reinforce my belief and faith in the TMS diagnosis, journaling every day to dig up those nasty negative emotions, talking to my subconscious whenever I need to tell it that TMS is not the solution, and visualizing myself doing all the things that supposedly cause me pain (typing, driving, etc)in a happy, positive way where I am not in pain and in fact am having the greatest time of my life! For me, the main thing is commitment. I have been at this for 14 weeks and am about 90-95% better. And I will not stop until I am 100% pain free. I have good days and not so good days but I persevere.
Keep at it!!
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oneorbit
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2011 : 13:54:35
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i think pot is good and it can open your mind. However, it clouds reality a bit and for you to get to know your true self and deal with the moment. I think any vice isn't healthy and it's a sign of unhappiness. I would try to quit for a while and use it more experimentally not as a crutch or part of your regular day.
Just Relax |
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Taalian
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 10/22/2011 : 13:21:03
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| Thanks guys!! Yeah I have tapered the pot down to only at night. I do find it helps me focus when doing root lock meditation. I really appreciate the feedback keep it comin :p |
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A few bumps on the road to recovery...
