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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 09/23/2011 : 20:46:51
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I am on day 16 of the structured program on the TMS wiki & I am posting here what I posted ther in response to the question. 'Have you talked to anyone about the pain & about TMS'? Here is my reply.
People I know already know that I have a bad back since I've had it for a long time but I haven't told then about my knees or neck/shoulder. I've only told my close family members. When I meet my friends they will ask me about my back but I usually change the subject. I don't see any value in labouring it. I don't talk about TMS becoz to be honest I don't know many people who have pain like I do & don't think anyone would be interested. My husband is aware that I am on the internet doing 'TMS stuff' & he's OK with it.
The journalling also requires that I talk about my current stressors which I am finding hard to do. I was OK with the parts that asked me to journal about the past but this is my reply to the one about current stressors. I would appreciate any comments & perhaps a nudge in the direction as to what else I could be writing/ journalling about. Thanks.
I am finding it really hard to come up with current stressors. What keeps coming up is that 'My pain is my current stressor'. I have had problems with my mom for years & its not about to change. I have journalled about it till the cows come home . She is old & set in her ways. I have found ways in which I can deal with the situation & I keep telling my unconscious that even though it is not perfect, it the the best way & that I am not going to let feelings& emotions affect my body. In fact my sister & I are in the same boat so we both talk about it so I get a lot of things out of my system. I can honestly say my biggest current stressor is the pain, dealing with it & trying not to be fearful of it.
Let me explain why I don't think I have any major stresses. I don't work & neither does my husband. We quit in 2006.We have no kids so no related responsibilities. I have a full time live in helper who does most of the housework but I love cooking so she doesn't do that. We have a lovely mutt whom we adore & who adores us.We travel 4-6 months a year for pleasure. My family is close to me. My mom lives 15 mins away & so does my sister. I'm very close to my sister & her family & I see them almost 4 to 5 times a week. I don't have any major financial worries.
I have also explored my personlity traits. I am a little bit of a control freak. This may be due to my childhood situation when sometimes I felt I didn't have any control. I have recognised this trait & journalled about it. I have told my inner child that its OK sometimes not to be in control & I've also told my unconscious that I'm aware of this.
Thanks.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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Joy_I_Am
United Kingdom
138 Posts |
Posted - 09/24/2011 : 05:36:27
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Interesting findings, Mala! I, too, change the subject when my old 'symptoms' come up in conversation - I usually just smile and say 'Oh, I ignore it!' or 'It's not a problem now, thanks'. This satisfies people that I'm dealing with it on my own and don't want to talk about it. Which is true. I'm leery of giving people the idea that it was 'all in my mind', because it was, but not in the way they think - people always assume that 'hypochondriacs' are 'doing it on purpose for attention'. In a way, our subconscious minds are, but it's our own attention we're after!
Also, I recognise the 'no major stressors' thing, because on paper, I have no kids, don't have to go into a factory or office every day, and nobody's shooting at me! But I do recognise that not engaging your mind enough can open the door to symptoms - when I'm absorbed in a work project, I'm balanced and happy; between jobs, I get antsy and self-absorbed. That old saying 'The devil makes work for idle hands' is true (not saying any of us are 'idle' but we've obviously got some spare brain capacity that's looking for something to do). Like an intelligent dog that's locked in all day, we start trashing things!
I also recognise that my major stressor is not the incidents in my life, but the way in which I respond to them. Everyone has their trials, this is life, and my inner child might think I should be immune to them, but my inner child is wrong and needs to be gently told that it's okay to have to deal with things.
Thanks for a thought-provoking post! Joy |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 09/25/2011 : 02:19:15
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Hey Joy I Am, thx for yr post.
quote:
people always assume that 'hypochondriacs' are 'doing it on purpose for attention'. In a way, our subconscious minds are, but it's our own attention we're after
That is a very good observation that our subconscious mind is seeking our attention. So does that mean its causing pain so that we may focus on it even more? But if we focus too much isn't it narcissistic? Is that why Sarno suggests we ignore it? But if we ignore it then it gets even more angry.
So what to do? delve into the situation even more by delving into the past, childhood, personality traits etc or just ignore the pain plain & simple without trying to understand.
There is much conflicting advice. Sarno says you don't have to change , just acknowledge that there is an emotional component & that should be enough. Others say no you have to do more work, write, journal, maybe even find a professional to talk to. How far back & how deep does one have to dig & for how long. So confusing.
Any thoughts good people?
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 09/26/2011 17:49:40 |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2011 : 18:01:43
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I highly recommend you try the structured educational program which is on the TMS wiki website. It is very well put together. I am on day 19 of it. It is free. If that doesn't work then try other avenues.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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current stressors
