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handsomerube
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 Posted - 09/04/2011 : 01:11:24
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hi everyone,
i'm new to the forum, but not to TMS...i was diagnosed with TMS by dr. schechter here in L.A. over a year ago. it has been a very difficult road leading up to this diagnosis...and the subsequent acceptance and treatment has been extremely slow going. i tried the journaling from his book but it felt very forced to me...my heart wasn't in it. and i know that's precisely why i continue to suffer...
i've been a musician (guitar) for over 20 years. i noticed my first signs of problems while practicing for a gig a little over 5 years ago. basically, my entire left hand went numb and it felt almost "out of body" (for lack of a better description)--i didn't feel like my hand was connected to me. since then, i haven't been able to play guitar for more than 10 minutes without my hand/arm feeling like it's on fire. my fingertips also go numb for several days. it's almost like a pressure/weakness thing. as you might imagine, this has been very devastating and has put me into a deep depression for much of this time. i am trying desperately to be hopeful, but i honestly am having a very difficult time believing that TMS is what's causing such complex problems. yet, at the same time i know i am dealing with a tremendous amount of emotional issues which could explain my diagnosis...
since i continue to struggle with these symptoms and the acceptance of TMS, i recently decided, once again (for the third time), to have an MRI and nerve study/EMG. the MRI is more or less same as it was the past two times (mild disc bulge and stenosis at C5-C6). the nerve study/EMG shows prolonged distal onset latency of left and right ulnar nerves. needle evaluation of left deltoid muscle showed moderately increased spontaneous activity. all remaining nerves are within normal limits.
since the ulnar nerve usually affects the ring and pinky fingers of the hand, i am skeptical that a truly mechanical reason is behind my problem (which would support a TMS diagnosis). as i mentioned above, my entire left hand is involved. in fact, the tip of my middle finger is still numb after recording guitar this past weekend (a full week...it's never lasted this long and the fear is in full force). i probably played a combined total of an hour and yet the tip of my finger is still numb. it just completely boggles my mind that something psychological could be behind this. i've tried physical therapy several times, though i wasn't exactly diligent with my exercises. i'm admittedly extremely impatient and frustrated very easily if i don't see immediate results...so i gave up and have lived with this ever since. i think what's really screwing me up with this is doubt...there is still linger doubt that i could be dealing with something physical that has been overlooked. and i know that's one of the main problems in overcoming TMS...
numb fingers, burning pain throughout my arm/upper back/neck, weakness in gripping, occipital neuralgia, intense sudden nerve pain around my left clavicle that feels like an electric shock...it's all clearly nerve-related.
meanwhile, i've recently started dr. schubiner's book "unlearn your pain" and have begun seeing a therapist with a background in TMS. however, he did say some things at my last session about taking breaks when pain/numbness kicks in, which seems to fly in the face of the whole philosophy behind recovering from TMS. whereas sarno would say to not let the pain intimidate you and, in my case, play through the pain/numbness. i'm cautiously optimistic, though i realize that's part of the problem...being cautious and doubtful/fearful.
sorry for the long post...i'm just in a bit of a bad headspace right now with all this.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2011 : 08:46:38
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WOW, I'm jealous Handsomerube! I went to Dr. Schechter a number of years ago and he DX'ed me with arthritis and to get a hip-replacement, sooner than later--I would have died for a TMS dx and cried afterwards. So, you don't have to worry that he dx's everything as TMS.
You don't have a "little" doubt that your condition is TMS--you have a LOT of doubt, evidenced by getting more MRI,s etc. You are talking all physical and no emotional.
Depression is TMS, an affective symptom rather than a physical psychogenic, structural one. Are you getting treatment for depression? It has been found that small doses of anti-depressants are beneficial to TMS.
Unfortunately, dear Dr. Donald Dubin, who appeared on Dr. Schecter's tapes, passed away a few years back, but you are very lucky there are a number of TMS therapists in the LA area. Have you seen any of them?
Just curious what the derivation of your web monicker "Handsomerube" comes from?
Welcome and good luck, you may want to avail yourself of some of the tools and info in my sig below.
Cheers
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
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Edited by - tennis tom on 09/04/2011 08:52:11 |
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5+ years...
