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theghost
30 Posts |
 Posted - 08/29/2011 : 10:15:32
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Hi. I registered a month ago, but I was afraid to post anything. I don't know if I have TMS, but I know I have something... and I could use some help.
I've been having some problems since 1998. I get remission from them from time to time, but whenever periods of stress crop up in my life, I get really sick with some phantom illness.
In 1998, it was the "throat thing". I was dating a boy who I loved... and the relationship sort of just fizzled out because I wouldn't sleep with him. He stayed in a relationship with me, but he wouldn't kiss me. I was also away at college and it was an extremely stressful year. Not to mention the fact that I was homesick and never really got better from that...
Anyway, I had this phantom pain in my throat. I don't even like talking about it, I'm afraid it will come back. This lasted for a good 2 or 3 years, and then when I got out of college, it stopped. I have no idea what caused it to stop, but it just did.
Flash forward to 2005. My mother was dying of a brain tumor for 3 years. I had to watch her waste away ... the day she died, I had a weird feeling in my rib that happened. I went to the doctor and he tried to give me mood medication. I wouldn't take it. I left offended, and ... my mom passed away and it got worse and worse.
I finally found an osteopath, and she told me my ribs were out of place for sitting weird. But no matter how much she tried to fix them, my muscles would just pull them back into place. I even went to an osteopathic school in philadelphia, and they told me my muscles were tighter than they'd ever seen them.
This went on for a few years and then it stopped. I don't know why it stopped. It was just like the first incident.
So, flash forward to last year. I had a terrible thing done to me. I was asked to go to PAX (the penny arcade expo) in seattle, for those of you guys who don't know. I am afraid to fly. I didn't want to go to this thing, but someone had called in a favor to get me to go, so I felt I needed to. I got myself psyched up to go to this thing, and then I was told there was a mistake and I was being replaced by someone else. Someone who was better than me at what I do and more well known. I was really hurt because I don't exactly have high self esteem, and I was the only one who was replaced. A few days later, my current malady started.
It started out with terrible tooth pain. i still had my wisdom teeth at this point, well, the bottom ones, at least. I tried to go to 3 different oral surgeons and they wouldn't take them out. One of them suggested that I had TMJ. So I went to some hot-shot doctor in Allentown to make me an "NTI device".
The NTI device caused horrible nerve pain and burning mouth. I would wake up most mornings feeling like my mouth was on fire. I stopped wearing it and the symptoms went away.
So, after that, I tried massage therapy (which made me feel better, but only for a little bit) ... and I am currently trying physical therapy. I also had the wisdom teeth out. They left me with a numb lip, but it's only been 3 months since surgery, so I've been told that will probably heal. I'm 33 years old, so apparently I'm an old fart and nerves take a long time to heal at that age.
Anyway, nothing is making anything better. My muscles seem to just tighten if I think that I might have something wrong with me. Is this TMS? Or do I actually have something wrong with me?
I don't respond to any treatment by doctors. If I take medicine, it doesnt work. If I get osteopathy, it works for about a day and i go right back to how it was.
I will not take mood medication, I am determined to beat this on my own. I am starting to lose hope very quickly, though.
I am an artist, and my jaw hurts terribly when I sit and draw. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give up my trade at this point, and I don't know what I will do if I have to do that.
I've purchased "the divided mind", btw. I just haven't gotten a chance to put the audiobook on my ipod yet.
I am an interesting case, though. I tend to think I'm going to get better, and if I don't feel all right in a few days, I start to lose faith and hope and I get WAY worse.
I write a diary, and I see the patterns, but I feel powerless to break the patterns. If I could just get my mind off of it, I'm sure I'd heal. But right now, the only thought that goes through my mind is "You need to fix this RIGHT NOW or it will get worse and you'll never draw, eat hard food or sing again".
Sorry about the length of this. I just really need some help/advice.
ps - I'm a bit frightened by this clown emoticon.  |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 11:35:45
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Hi Ghost,
Could you "have" TMS--hell yes! I'm on a road-trip and can't get into it in detail but your post is froth and juicy with it. I'm sure others will jump into the breach here. The best thing you can do is start reading, watching and listening to the TMS materials. Also, for a quicky lesson here, read Dave's posts, his are the most concise and accurate. What do you do for exercise?
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 12:07:44
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As far as exercises, I'm a pretty active person. I swim when I can, but this summer has been very rainy. I walk a lot and i ride my bike, but I haven't gotten out to do that as much as I'd like either because of the rain. I walk pretty religiously though, rain, shine (or even snow in the winter) ...
I do very few exercises for my jaw and neck area, because I don't really know any. The same with my upper back, which is extremely restricted. I am currently in physical therapy trying to learn some new exercises. I've only had two sessions, but the man knows his stuff about tmj and is taking it seriously.
Getting my mind off of the pain usually does the trick, but I get into these ruts where I can't get my mind off of it. I keep running to doctors and I know that's not the right thing to do.
I think the thing that bothers me the most is watching my money go down the drain on treatments that never seem to work. I've been doing massage therapy for almost a year now, and she manages to make me feel good for about 30 minutes. Then it comes right back.
I'm starting to get seriously depressed because there is a local fair coming up and I'm not going to be able to eat any of my favorite foods if I can't get my muscles in my jaw to give me a break.
We should see how much the ones who we loved despised us, and how little the ones who loved us understood us. |
Edited by - theghost on 08/29/2011 12:08:59 |
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Javizy
United Kingdom
76 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 12:27:45
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quote:
Originally posted by theghost
I'm starting to get seriously depressed because there is a local fair coming up and I'm not going to be able to eat any of my favorite foods if I can't get my muscles in my jaw to give me a break.
If you broke your leg and the doctor told you it'd take 6-months to fully recover, would you feel depressed? I think most people would just see it as an inconvenience. When it comes to TMS-like chronic pain syndromes though, few people are able to put it into perspective so easily.
You need to stop seeing your pain as some sort of lifelong, hope-draining burden and start seeing it as a broken leg that, while inconvenient for now, will soon go away when allowed to heal. Giving in to stress, anxiety, depression, negative thought patterns etc is the equivalent of taking off your caste and walking around while the bone isn't even set. You wouldn't scream at your bones to heal, so how about giving your mind that same leniency?
As you begin to recover, you'll probably start looking at things in a positive light. By improving your psychological health, you won't just soothe your immediate suffering, but you'll also help lower your chances of all sorts of diseases, from heart disease to Alzheimer's! I've changed my life-destroying lifestyle so much that I dread to think what would've become of me if I never had TMS to trigger change! |
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 12:34:37
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It's very hard not give in to it, but I agree with you. I want to take my life back from this, but I don't even know where to begin.
I keep thinking that the physical therapist is going to make me worse, and I have to get rid of that type of thought. I don't trust doctors. I think that might be part of my problem.
A doctor killed my mother, a doctor killed my next door neighbor, so I'm afraid that a doctor is going to kill me with their negligence.
this is a debilitating fear, so I have to do something or it is going to kill me.
We should see how much the ones who we loved despised us, and how little the ones who loved us understood us. |
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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 13:19:03
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I would say you definitely have some TMS symptoms going on.
"I was dating a boy who I loved... and the relationship sort of just fizzled out because I wouldn't sleep with him. He stayed in a relationship with me, but he wouldn't kiss me."
It is hard to stand up for what we believe in. Maybe you feel rejected, and if you are a people-pleaser, than I am sure you had major tension in this loss of relationship. Are you religious/spiritual?
"My mother was dying of a brain tumor for 3 years. I had to watch her waste away ... the day she died, I had a weird feeling in my rib that happened"
You made a connection right there.
"So, flash forward to last year. I had a terrible thing done to me. I was asked to go to PAX (the penny arcade expo) in seattle, for those of you guys who don't know. I am afraid to fly. I didn't want to go to this thing, but someone had called in a favor to get me to go, so I felt I needed to. I got myself psyched up to go to this thing, and then I was told there was a mistake and I was being replaced by someone else. Someone who was better than me at what I do and more well known. I was really hurt because I don't exactly have high self esteem, and I was the only one who was replaced. A few days later, my current malady started."
I see you thought you were going to fly and I am sure your body tensed up(fear). I see you were replaced by someone you believe to be better than you. That is mixed with fear, rejection, self-comparison. I would imagine you have had many of these thoughts a majority of your life. These kinds of thoughts are torment.
"I am an artist, and my jaw hurts terribly when I sit and draw. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give up my trade at this point, and I don't know what I will do if I have to do that."
Another connection you made. I know your thoughts must be going a hundred mile an hour with fear and uncertainty.
"You need to fix this RIGHT NOW or it will get worse and you'll never draw, eat hard food or sing again".
Yeah, it seems the thoughts patterns can definitely keep the pain alive. Fear enters our life when we are not loved. Once again, fear is pure torture. When we are loved, there is an absence of fear.
Were your parents divorced? Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. A broken heart is probably the hardest thing in life to deal with. I would like to just hear more about your background. |
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jrda88
4 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 13:24:56
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| TheGhost, I totally understand where you are coming from. I have TMJ also, and the pain is terrible. I would not wish it on anyone ever. I found this site a week or two ago, and I must say it is quite interesting. I am not sure if my problems are physical or mental, but I must say I am leaning towards my mental health. Currently, I am depressed and anxious, and it sounds like you are too. I hope you can find relief from whatever avenue you look towards. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 13:43:27
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As other's have said, you clearly fit the TMS profile. I'd say the chances of all your sufferings in the physical realm being TMS are just about 100 percent. You're obviously extremely sensitive, have the usual fearful personality with self esteem issues. BUt this is all good news because you're in the right place!
The cure for this illness is information. The more you can learn the better. Read the books, hang around the forum. No doubt in my mind you'll be a new woman 3 months from now....if you stick with it.
Just your name choice alone is revealing. You're not a ghost, you're a sensitive, bright, talented person who deserves a good life!
Welcome... |
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 13:49:34
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quote:
Originally posted by 2scoops
I would say you definitely have some TMS symptoms going on.
"I was dating a boy who I loved... and the relationship sort of just fizzled out because I wouldn't sleep with him. He stayed in a relationship with me, but he wouldn't kiss me."
It is hard to stand up for what we believe in. Maybe you feel rejected, and if you are a people-pleaser, than I am sure you had major tension in this loss of relationship. Are you religious/spiritual?
Yes, I am spiritual. I believe in God and pray all the time. However, I sort of have been disconnected from my church because I got in a fight with my pastor. During my marriage counseling, I had put down that I was religious and he looked at me and asked me 'if you're so religious, why don't you come to church?'. I lost my temper at him and really screamed at him. I lost all faith in him at this point. I wasn't going to church because my mother was sick and ... I was just tired on sunday mornings. I was depressed and wanted to sleep. ... so there's another point of stress in my life. I'm afraid I'm going to go to hell because I hate my @#$% pastor. How horrible is that?
quote:
I see you thought you were going to fly and I am sure your body tensed up(fear). I see you were replaced by someone you believe to be better than you. That is mixed with fear, rejection, self-comparison. I would imagine you have had many of these thoughts a majority of your life. These kinds of thoughts are torment.
I'll be honest. I didn't want to go on this trip. I'm glad that I got kicked off at the last moment. But the rejection, that was something else altogether. All of this jaw stuff started when that rejection happened. I think the worst part about it was that my one friend got to go, and I was very happy with her, but she posted all over facebook about it and how great it was that she was chosen. This destroyed me a little bit more.
quote:
"You need to fix this RIGHT NOW or it will get worse and you'll never draw, eat hard food or sing again".
Yeah, it seems the thoughts patterns can definitely keep the pain alive. Fear enters our life when we are not loved. Once again, fear is pure torture. When we are loved, there is an absence of fear.
I am loved, that's the worst part. I'm married and have a thousand friends. The guy who rejected me is one of my friends, and, I say this completely honestly, we have reconciled our differences and are better as friends than lovers. But the emotional abuse that he made me endure, that is what was lasting.
quote:
Were your parents divorced? Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. A broken heart is probably the hardest thing in life to deal with. I would like to just hear more about your background.
My parents were not divorced. My mom sort of lived vicariously through me, though. She wanted me to be perfect. She was all about keeping up appearances. I got a C in geometry, and I was afraid to go home with that report card. I actually cheated a few times in high school because I was afraid of her wrath more than I was afraid of getting caught. She never hit me or anything, but she made me feel horrible for getting a bad grade. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse sometimes. You can't see the bruises, but they're still there inside of you.
Anyway, they removed my mom's tumor and it grew back. She started acting really weird and she started actually hitting me and doing strange things. I put a lock on my bedroom door because I was scared to death of her. The tumor was making her be crazy and my dad wouldn't listen. So, I was the one who had to be the responsible adult for the first time ever. I was 22 at the time, I think. I was not grown up at all and not ready for it.
The whole situation strained my relationship with my dad. I used to idolize him, and I lost a lot of respect for him in how he handled the situation. Now he's dating some woman I hate. So, there's another bit of unresolved stress and anger in my life.
I have loads more "baggage"... including one really big one that I haven't said yet. The catalyst that started it all. I had a "best friend" in high school, and she is the one who set all of this in motion. She used to be great friends with me, and something happened to her... a guy wouldn't date her, so she started emotionally abusing me. it came from out of nowhere, and I believed everything she said. It was the first time anyone had ever said a single negative thing about me. And it sort of ruined me for a long time. All of this spawns from that event, and it just spiraled out of control somewhere.
I just want to get back on track.
quote:
Just your name choice alone is revealing. You're not a ghost, you're a sensitive, bright, talented person who deserves a good life!
You know the funny thing? I've used "ghost" for various things throughout my life. I just like ghosts. But I never really realized exactly how appropriate that is until I started having this problem. :)
quote:
TheGhost, I totally understand where you are coming from. I have TMJ also, and the pain is terrible. I would not wish it on anyone ever. I found this site a week or two ago, and I must say it is quite interesting. I am not sure if my problems are physical or mental, but I must say I am leaning towards my mental health. Currently, I am depressed and anxious, and it sounds like you are too. I hope you can find relief from whatever avenue you look towards.
I think a big part of getting better from these things is realizing that you are not alone. Mind Body disorders are REAL, and I've always had a hard time accepting that fact. I think that might be a big step towards recovery. That and not beating yourself up over things you can't change. That said, let's get better together, okay? ;)
Thanks for all your kind replies. And thanks for anyone else who replies to this. Sincerely. |
Edited by - theghost on 08/29/2011 13:57:57 |
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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 14:37:15
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Yes, I am spiritual. I believe in God and pray all the time. However, I sort of have been disconnected from my church because I got in a fight with my pastor. During my marriage counseling, I had put down that I was religious and he looked at me and asked me 'if you're so religious, why don't you come to church?'. I lost my temper at him and really screamed at him. I lost all faith in him at this point. I wasn't going to church because my mother was sick and ... I was just tired on sunday mornings. I was depressed and wanted to sleep. ... so there's another point of stress in my life. I'm afraid I'm going to go to hell because I hate my @#$% pastor. How horrible is that?
I commend you for being honest! The bible does say to confess your faults to one another. That is just part of the healing process. I do believe that we should forgive one another. It maybe hard, we may not feel like doing it, but I believe it gets us free from the bondage of anger and bitterness.
"My parents were not divorced. My mom sort of lived vicariously through me, though. She wanted me to be perfect. She was all about keeping up appearances. I got a C in geometry, and I was afraid to go home with that report card. I actually cheated a few times in high school because I was afraid of her wrath more than I was afraid of getting caught. She never hit me or anything, but she made me feel horrible for getting a bad grade. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse sometimes. You can't see the bruises, but they're still there inside of you."
The bible says not to be man pleasers, but it's hard because many times we are taught and told the exact opposite. God looks at the heart, not on the outside. Once again, we are taught the complete opposite. Our enemy seeks to destroy us, those fiery darts can be those nasty thoughts we get. The key is to take those thoughts, take them captive and replace them with truth.
Feel free to email me if you want.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 18:09:54
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Ghost, since funds are an issue, if you bought all the TMS books, videos and audios extant, you probably couldn't spend more than a couple of hundred dollars, a pittance to doctors appointments and body work costs. And if TMS resonates with you, just reading one book, thoughtfully may suffice.
If you can see a TMS doctor, or talk to a TMS therapist, even by phone you would benefit exponentially. Do you know how to find TMS practitioners?
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 18:43:39
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quote:
Originally posted by tennis tom
Ghost, since funds are an issue, if you bought all the TMS books, videos and audios extant, you probably couldn't spend more than a couple of hundred dollars, a pittance to doctors appointments and body work costs. And if TMS resonates with you, just reading one book, thoughtfully may suffice.
If you can see a TMS doctor, or talk to a TMS therapist, even by phone you would benefit exponentially. Do you know how to find TMS practitioners?
I vaguely remember looking at TMS doctor locations when I first joined this site. I don't think there were any in my area, but I might be mistaken. I think there might have been someone in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, but that's a bit too far for me. Having to drive that far for an appointment will just give me more stress and make things worse. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, maybe) I know that much about myself.
If I were to talk to a therapist, it would probably have to be by phone, because all of these other places are REALLY far from where I live. Do they do that sort of thing?
I have a big problem with things that are considered "obligations". That's another part of my problem. I was going to a psychologist after my mother died, and i got upset that it was taking up precious video game playing time on a monday night, so I just stopped going. I am starting to feel the same way about my physical therapy, but my back is terribly out of shape, so I'm going to fight the urge to cancel the therapy and actually try to get better. This is why scheduling an appointment with someone far away is sort of out of the question. I know it will make me more upset. :(
Anyway...
As far as the spiritual side of all of this goes, I have quite an interesting story that lead me to the physical therapist and ultimately to posting on this site.
Two weeks ago, I had pretty much reached the lowest point that i had been. I was crying, telling my husband that I wanted to die... bad stuff. The next morning, I got in the car and I prayed to God. It was a simple prayer, it was just "God, please help me. Show me what to do". and then I drove to work.
I got to work and was working on a booklet for a local football league. (i am a graphic designer) ... I was moving ads around, and one of the ads was for a physical therapy place. I wasn't paying attention to any of the ads, but then I saw the word TMJ on the page. I picked up the phone and immediately scheduled an appointment. I decided I was going to try to get better.
But part of me getting better is healing my mind, and I think it's time that I finally acknowledged that.
Anyway, I'm tired and rambling. Thank you again for your help, all of you. |
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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 22:37:11
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Where are you from?
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2011 : 23:43:57
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Randy Cohen, DO (Physician)
Pain Medicine and Rehabilitation Specialists
160 North Pointe Blvd
Suite 115
Lancaster, PA 17601
rcohen@painstoppers.org
(717) 560-4480
(717) 560-4485 Fax
Larry Montemurro, PhD (Therapist)
902 West Main St
Mount Pleasant, PA, 15666
(724) 423-6217
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 05:16:45
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quote:
Originally posted by 2scoops
Where are you from?
I'm from northeastern pennsylvania. Those two places are a little far for me to commute, unfortunately.
I'm listening to Dr. Sarno's book, the Divided Mind right now. I started it last night. It's actually making me a little bit more upset. I am afraid of doctors, you see. Really afraid of them. It's making me even more afraid of them. I think that might be a bad thing. I'm going to continue listening to it, but it's really upsetting me.
We should see how much the ones who we loved despised us, and how little the ones who loved us understood us. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 07:21:13
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What in The Divided Mind is upsetting to you?
To tell you the truth, I found that book a little dull and poorly focused. I much preferred Healing Back Pain. It's a breeze to read, and I think a great way to get introduced to this stuff..
You've clearly got a lot going on. We can be our own worst enemies. Simplify. Decide that you want to work on one thing at a time. In this case I'd pick your physical problems. Maybe even just one symptom. Begin by understanding it's not real in the sense that it does not stem from actual physical/structural issues. This is a huge leap, and almost always sufficient to effect major improvement...
If you try to address all your problems at once, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
If you're afraid of doctors, then TMS self-treatment is made for you. You don't need a doctor. Many to most of us get better without one. |
Edited by - art on 08/30/2011 07:22:24 |
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 08:01:41
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quote:
Originally posted by art
What in The Divided Mind is upsetting to you?
To tell you the truth, I found that book a little dull and poorly focused. I much preferred Healing Back Pain. It's a breeze to read, and I think a great way to get introduced to this stuff..
You've clearly got a lot going on. We can be our own worst enemies. Simplify. Decide that you want to work on one thing at a time. In this case I'd pick your physical problems. Maybe even just one symptom. Begin by understanding it's not real in the sense that it does not stem from actual physical/structural issues. This is a huge leap, and almost always sufficient to effect major improvement...
If you try to address all your problems at once, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
If you're afraid of doctors, then TMS self-treatment is made for you. You don't need a doctor. Many to most of us get better without one.
I think the thing that upsets me the most is that the book is sort of making me be even MORE distrusting of doctors. I see this as a very bad thing. the reason is that while I may not have something wrong with me now, not really, there may come a point in my life where I have to put my life in a doctor's hands. Like if I had something like gall stones or cancer or something that can't 'be fixed by a simple mind over matter.
I already hate doctors and am terrified that they are going to ruin me. And this book makes me feel that I was right all along in this assumption and that the healthcare profession doesn't know what the hell they're doing.
I want to be able to trust them if something goes terribly wrong.
And i do have a lot going on. I've been bounced back and forth from doctor to doctor. Some of them have been sympathetic but not helpful. Some of them have been cruel and tried to offer me mood medication. But after what happened to my mother and nextdoor neighbor, who were both killed by the negligence of doctors, I'm very wary of them. This is a HUGE issue for me. I don't want to be like this anymore.
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Edited by - theghost on 08/30/2011 08:02:01 |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 09:36:44
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theghost....
quote:
I think the thing that upsets me the most is that the book is sort of making me be even MORE distrusting of doctors. I see this as a very bad thing. the reason is that while I may not have something wrong with me now, not really, there may come a point in my life where I have to put my life in a doctor's hands. Like if I had something like gall stones or cancer or something that can't 'be fixed by a simple mind over matter.
I already hate doctors and am terrified that they are going to ruin me. And this book makes me feel that I was right all along in this assumption and that the healthcare profession doesn't know what the hell they're doing.
I want to be able to trust them if something goes terribly wrong.
And i do have a lot going on. I've been bounced back and forth from doctor to doctor. Some of them have been sympathetic but not helpful. Some of them have been cruel and tried to offer me mood medication. But after what happened to my mother and nextdoor neighbor, who were both killed by the negligence of doctors, I'm very wary of them. This is a HUGE issue for me. I don't want to be like this anymore.
I don't like doctors, either. There are a few, though, who do care and do try.
I had emergency surgery for gallbladder, speaking of gall stones, and the surgeon was good and he cut the thing out and that was that. I had to trust him because it was ready to burst.
Regarding mood drugs... I am not a fan of those either, because they do not cure the problem. However, sometimes your adrenal glands are shot and there's no serotonin to be had. Those doctors are probably not insulting you but trying to help, because they recognize that part of your problem may be psychogenic. What happens to a person once they may be on mood medication depends upon good advice. The best advice is that, at best, the pills are a short-term crutch and that mental work must be done.
I'm no stranger, either, to doctor negligence. My father was helped to his death by a doctor, and a doctor nearly killed my mother by over-prescribing pills.
I try to look at it this way with allopathic doctors... it is an art, not a science. They are taking their best guess.
Healing Back Pain is probably the best of the lot of Sarno books, followed by Mind-Body Prescription.
Regarding anxiety, an oldie but a goodie is by Dr. Claire Weekes, "Hope and Help for Your Nerves." I like the book, but her CDs are better, because you can hear the common sense and intelligence in her voice. In addition, she tells patients flat out that if they need something for their nerves, take it. She then gives a person the tools to deal with anxiety.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 08/30/2011 09:38:41 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 09:38:27
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There's always plenty to be scared of. Life is by it's nature, scary. But how we choose to react to scary things is up to us.
Just as an aside to what I consider the main point (because you can always find something frightening in just about anything), just because most doctors do not understand psychosomatic illness does not mean they're not competent to treat actual illness. But there again, worrying about what might happen *someday* is a gigantic waste of energy.
You're going to have to find a way to get your anxiety under control. In my opinion you won't recover until you do.
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Edited by - art on 08/30/2011 09:39:56 |
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theghost
30 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 09:51:55
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thanks guys. :)
And you're right about my anxiety. It is out of control right now. I'm not sure exactly how to get it under control and regain trust in my doctors.
They really aren't all bad... and some of them are even trying to help me. When they don't know what's going on, though, I'm very reluctant to let them experiment with things.
The problem I'm facing now is that even the ones that DO know what's going on, I am finding myself not trusting them, either. And that's sort of a hurdle that I need to get over. I don't exactly know how to, but maybe I'll figure it out.
I think a big part of my problem is that I read about TMJ on the internet. I read about it and I see how hopeless everyone with the condition is. Instead of reading success stories, I see the stories where the person has had TMJ for 20 years and has just gotten worse and worse. And my mind focuses on that.
I used to think I had cancer when I had the "throat thing" back in college. But cancer would have killed me. While I'm still afraid of that, I'm now more afraid of illnesses that will not kill me, but instead handicap me so I cannot continue my work. And when I get under a lot of stress, my body says "okay, you want an illness that will stop you from doing your work, here it is!"...
There's a line in a song that says "That what you fear the most, will meet you halfway". I think that's what TMS is all about.
That's the worst part about all of this. Rationally I realize all of these things. It's making my emotional side BELIEVE what my rational side is telling it that is the challenge. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2011 : 10:02:22
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Ghost, how far are you from the two TMS practitioners listed in PA? One's in Lancaster and the other's in Mt. Pleasant. You can easily calculate this by googling "Distances between Cities".
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DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
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I think I need some help. I'm new here
