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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
 Posted - 05/18/2011 : 10:10:22
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im not sure why im here again, i guess because at least the last time i was here i recieved some comfort and a distant feeling of hope. After going back to thinking about prolotherapy injections and making the relevent phone call about it, the pain has increased, my some good days have become few and far between in the past 2 weeks, and is that because im back focusing on the physical, or is it merely because prolotherapy can wear off and i need more ?!
im not one to write on internet forums about how low and depressed im feeling but to be honest, none of you know me, and alot of you are still strugging with your own pain, on saturday night after an arguement with my mum (about her not caring), and then turning to my boyfriend for support, who i felt when i called him in tears saying how i couldnt cope anymore with living my life in pain and the limitations i face, i didnt feel he cared. i not so much decided but i reached a very low ebb, and gin and paracitamol was the only things i could think of to get me away from the pain, its not that i want to die its that i dont know how to deal with living my life in this pain, infact im living im just existing!!
I have been having councilling and im not sure if its making me worst, its just bringing up everything from the past, my brothers death, the lack of care and support from my parents, bad relationships etc... tommorrow im thinking about going to the doctors for some anti depressents, ive never taken them and im very wary because i dont want to be stuck on them, but im at such a low ebb right now and i feel like i cant get through the day to day stuff.
i came off here and started thinking physically again, which meant going on alot of websites with all the si joint suffers are, theres so many people out there who have the same problems and no one has seemed to cure it, except with prolotherapy it seems. i know that ive been more depressed since ive left the tms approach, but i want to be real, i dont want to go with the tms just to take away the fear, i want to deal with the pain, even if that means physically, i dont just want to be thinking tms because it gives me more hope.
im sorry this is such a depressing read, but right now thats where i am... and if tms is about repressing emotions im done repressing them!!
This to shall pass.... |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2011 : 12:56:56
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healing....
quote:
im sorry this is such a depressing read, but right now thats where i am... and if tms is about repressing emotions im done repressing them!!
I have gotten much better in so many ways now that I just tell whomever what-if. I just don't care anymore.
That said, I was pissed at my girlfriend because she didn't understand what I was going through. I ended the deal a couple months back. Upon reflecting I know now that, as a goodist and people pleaser, I cared too much. I over-reacted. I wanted to be liked. In retrospect I can't expect that kind of reaction from a person who is not of that mindset. What could she say after awhile. She was scared. I was not the person I was and she couldn't do anything about it.
Things happen for a reason. Sometimes we find out why; sometimes not.
I'm having major thought doubts right now, but I know in my soul that I will be better someday. I hope you can know it too.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2011 : 19:31:58
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I just typed for an hour and lost it right before I posted  It was a cracker too
I don't have the time to do it again, so it's short and sweet and to the point
- Rock bottom is part of the process......don't do anything silly as there is hope
- it's your mind doing all this
- ignore all involuntary thoughts....get control
- your mind is fighting for power, don't give in
- 5HTP and L-Tyrosine...search my previous posts
- negative thoughts lead to repressed negative feelings....which leads to pain and suffering
- address the thoughts
- don't expect much from people around you as they simply don't know how to help you, you have to help yourself
- anti-depressants just kick the can down the road.....you'll have to deal with this sooner or later
What are you going to do HB? What is the next step you think will help you?
There can be no progress without change
D
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Edited by - Darko on 05/18/2011 22:32:50 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2011 : 10:10:05
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"There can be no progress without change"
And change takes courage. In some ways, suffering is the easier route. It's familiar, and victim-hood has certain comforts.
To you folks having difficulty, why not simply try? Just conduct an informal experiment and decide not to be fearful for a couple of days. You can always go back to worrying later.
What do you have to lose?
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2011 : 13:34:18
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back2it, thanks for your kind words, i think we're both suffering right now, and probably just bouncing off negativity to each other.
Darko, ive started up on the 5-htp and the l-tyrosine, i didnt go to to the doctors in the end, i hate taking medicine, anything natural im much more comfortable with.
I have started reading louise l hays stuff again, and i also have what to say when you talk to yourself by shad helmstetter.
im not going to lie im still popping into here every other day but im also delving into physical routes, i no that im going to have to choose one eventually, but i think that will be when im done with another bout of physical treatment if im honest.
i wish i had a herniated disk, or rsi i really do think i could just go with it if it was those things, but si joint dysfunction caused by hypermobility, which thousands of people suffer from, i just cant completely bit the bullet. i think whats throwing me off more is i used to have pain for years from when i was 14 maybe cant really remember, i could only ever walk for around 2 hrs and then i would need to sit down and put heat on my back. for years i was told this was cos i had scoliosis, which i have since been told i dont. when i got into fitness i didnt have any pain for 2-3 years, i believed this was because i strenghthened my back at the gym, and now here we are. can hypermobility just come back and push my joints out of whack and become to loose to hold them in, i dont know ... are your joints meant to become less mobile as you age not more ? i did alot of stretching at the gym, maybe i pushed it to hard, or maybe because my crohns disease has gone, my dry eyes, my food allergies of 8 years, my misterious red eye that came for 6 months and no one could work out what it was... maybe its my backs go now... i just dont think i can be that unlucky can i ?
This to shall pass.... |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 05/19/2011 : 17:00:02
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quote:
To you folks having difficulty, why not simply try?
This is gold.......
HB....seriously.....there is nothing wrong with you. Read your post back to yourself, listen to all the complaining and moaning about your health. STOP IT!
Your bad health is a RESULT of your complaining mind and all it's negativity. I'm sorry for being blunt, but I like to get to the point.
Your depression leads to negative thinking which leads to more depression....which ultimately leads to HEALTH PROBLEMS (TMS)
1- As Art says...why not try what is being suggested?....just DO IT
2- stop complaining...both in your mind and out of your mouth....no complaining at all for 1 month
You're not going to hurt yourself by working out....unless you do something silly. Get that rubbish out of your head......you are fine.
Chrohn's is an autoimmune dis-ease, which is cause by too many inflammatory proteins in your body. Inflammation is cause by what??? Anger! Anger turned inward is DEPRESSION.
GET OFF THE FENCE.....if you keep flip floping you are simply not going to get better and we are wasting our time.
Take action now!
Said with love
D |
Edited by - Darko on 05/19/2011 17:01:22 |
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im not sure why
