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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
 Posted - 01/31/2011 : 23:19:55
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I feel like I need to call my TMS sponsors!
So here's what's been going on. My sister just died. I've been to UK twice in the last few weeks which has caused me intense physical exhaustion and financial meltdown.
More than that, this is the sis who hated me from birth and has constantly attacked me directly and behind my back for my whole life. She never changed, even at the end. And after her death I have found out some really evil nasty **** she did behind my back. Don't want to put it up here online, but of course it's quite enraging, as if there wasn't already plenty of food for rage in here.
I've not been feeling well. Every symptom under the sun. And I just found myself googling symptoms and I thought, well, could it be? Nah! It's physical. Isn't it?...
What do you think boys and girls?
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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healingback
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2011 : 01:34:02
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I think right now your really struggling between the fact that your sister just passed away and the fact that you obviously have a lot of anger about the way she was towards you, you have this anger but at the same time you may be finding it hard to justify your anger as she's not there anymore for you to point that anger at.
The nxt few months are going to be very hard as your going to be experiencing a lot of different feelings, your going to be going through a process... of course your going to going to be having tms things going on, but you were previously a success story, and you will be again, don't google your physical symtoms, go to the gym, go for a walk, get anry, cry, be emotional get whatever it is you need to get out....
This to shall pass.... |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2011 : 02:45:55
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WS,
Sorry to hear your sad news! I'm just going to be frank with you......then again when am I not frank?! If it were me I'd be having some ambivalent feelings here. My question to you is what are you thinking?
Observe your thoughts about the situation and your sister and finance, whatever else.
If you're feeling rage then YOU are at fault and NOT anyone else.....YOUR thoughts are creating the rage, which you're probably stuffing down and causing a plethora of symptoms.....no surprise really!
CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thoughts lead to feelings.
I know it's not easy because your mind and body are addicted to negative thoughts, as they give you a squirt of chemicals.
Acknowledge the poisonous thoughts, let them go and start to think differently about things. Oh and DON'T judge what feelings you have, allow them to come up and out of your body....even if you don't like, understand or want them......it's too late once you have the feeling, you MUST allow it to flow
My condolences to you.
D |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2011 : 06:13:49
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| Sorry for your loss and what your'e going thru Wavy. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 02/01/2011 : 06:18:43
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Darko has some good points, though I'd have presented them more gently. Moreover, unless you're a Zen monk, anything near total thought control is virtually impossible. (not to say one can't make inroads.)
I'd be tempted to look at this from the standpoint of mortality. Of course you're worried about illness. Nothing says you're mortal too quite so clearly as the death of a sibling.
I'm sorry for your loss Wavy, and all that painful anger and ambivalence. Have faith in the resilience of your own mind/body. You'll get through this experience and will come out on the other side feeling stronger and wiser...if perhaps a tad sadder...
Life is like that, eventually anyway...
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Edited by - art on 02/01/2011 13:29:28 |
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suegr98
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2011 : 19:44:19
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Wavy that sounds like a huge challenge. Forgiveness will be the ultimate healer though it may take time. One of the hardest things for me to accept about pain is that it takes time to go away. I want instant relief dammit! Be patient with yourself.
take good care,
Sue
http://www.facebook.com/suegr98
http://healingwithfeelings.wordpress.com
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Help! I'm googling symptoms!
