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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
 Posted - 01/20/2011 : 12:51:41
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I've made some progress, but I've had some real doubts over the last two days.
I have a mid-back disc herniation, and it's kind of a rare thing. It's mostly doom and gloom when you look things up on the internet, and doctors tell me there's nothing that can be done.
I accepted that the herniation may have been there all along and been asymptomatic and only came to be symptomatic when I was faced with some deep emotional stressors about two years ago. I simply woke up one morning with a heavy, strange feeling on my right side.
My symptoms grew worse and eventually I had an MRI done that showed the "proof".
Then I became afraid of just about everything. Recently I began resuming all activities I used to do, including jogging.
I am uncomfortable sitting, standing and walking. There is a pressure like feeling in my chest (it's not heart) and in my abdomen which feels like muscles pulling. It aches and it burns.
I looked up the symptoms again of a mid back herniation and I seem to fit many of them.
My question/comment is, I'm wondering if I'm fooling myself, and that what I have is structural. I was convinced for awhile it wasn't, but now I'm not so sure. The doctors I have seen aren't sure if the disc herniation is causing the problem or not. The disc is herniated to the left, but my symptoms are to my right. I've been using Dr. Sarno's idea that the mind can pick a weak area, but not quite get it right. Yet, I don't know if I'm assuming that a herniation to the left will only mean symptoms to the left. Doctors are not familiar at all with mid back herniations, which is part of the problem.
It's been a bad two days. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2011 : 13:29:45
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It's the TMS'ers dilemma. We all go though it. I suggest reading "healing back pain" again as a lot of those issues are covered.
You've seen the doctors. They've nothing for you. You're smart...and no doubt right....to try a different approach. If you can't quite make the leap of faith, simply act as if you have. That's really all that's required. My life was severely curtailed due to back pain. I read HBP and somehow it rang a bell of truth. I rarely have the slightest problem with my back now. When I do, I just think TMS and watch the pain evaporate. (read my recent post "golden oldie.*)
It's a semi-miracle that continues to astound me.
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Edited by - art on 01/20/2011 13:30:49 |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2011 : 14:28:33
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Thanks for your reply Art.
Yes it is as struggle and leap of faith. Unlike many who have no "structural" problems, I had one dangled in front of me. And I never have symptoms that change or move around. They are the same all the time and are with me all day long, sitting, standing and walking.
The only relief I get is sleep. Thank god it does not bother me when I recline and sleep.
I never should have looked up the symptoms again. I had no hope until reading Sarno and taking TMS classes, and now I'm regressing. I've lived with this pain for so long that I can't tell if I've made any progress physically or not, it's hurt for so long. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2011 : 06:27:39
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Many have supposed structural problems that show up on x-rays, mri's etc. Just about everybody after a certain age has something, somewhere. But they don't cause pain in most people. If you've not read the books in a while, that's pretty well covered.
If back problems are caused by these kinds of things, it would stand to reason that you're typical chirpractic office would be jammed with older people....senior citizens. But who do you see for the most part? People in their prime working years...30's 40's 50's.
Constancy of symptoms is not atypical in TMS. If your personality fits the bill, chances are quite high you're on the right track.
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Edited by - art on 01/21/2011 06:30:18 |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2011 : 12:52:08
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Thanks again, Art. It's good to be reminded of the basics.
I think I might need to re-read HBP. I've read and re-read MBP, but it was in HBP that I really saw myself on every page.
It's interesting: I had a crisis at work today, one of my own making because of being so distracted with obsessing about pain, and while taking care if it I noticed that I didn't have nearly as severe pain as on the couple of previous days.
I made a vow to stay off the internet for health things, and I didn't think I was breaking my rule by looking up what I already "had", so I went ahead and did it. Mistake.
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Edited by - Back2-It on 01/21/2011 13:42:07 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2011 : 18:26:42
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These things often take time. You're right, googling symptoms is usually a terrible mistake.
I'm certain you'll come away from HBP feeling much better about your prospects. I could barely move at times with my back pain. I remember my wife giving me dinner on the floor, which I'd have to eat on all fours, like a dog. (of course, there was a plate under the food :>)
I can't tell you how much money I wasted on chiropractors.
It's all good. You'll get there. |
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suegr98
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2011 : 21:50:51
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I backslide at least every other day, sometimes more than once in a day. What I am learning is that the pain doesn't last and is not as severe, even in my moments of doubt, so I figure that kind of progress is proof in itself. They say in AA that once you start going to meetings you can never drink(backslide) the same way again. Well, since I became aware of TMS, I have not experienced pain the same way again! I do have to take the long view on my bad days though. If I see a bad day as a permanent reality I get very depressed, which aggravates the pain more. Also if I focus on the pain, attempt to make it go away with my old remedies, it just gets worse. Good lessons!
take good care,
Sue
http://www.facebook.com/suegr98
http://healingwithfeelings.wordpress.com
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2011 : 04:46:54
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quote:
Originally posted by Back2-It
Yes it is as struggle and leap of faith. Unlike many who have no "structural" problems, I had one dangled in front of me. And I never have symptoms that change or move around. They are the same all the time and are with me all day long, sitting, standing and walking.
Like Art said "tms'rs dilema" fits perfectly. I too had the dangling abnormality. Or should I say abnormalities (pl). I always get fustrated out of jealousy from those who get "clean" scans and still have pain, because when I find out I'm fine (conventionally) in a particular area, the pain subsides almost immediately. I was always skeptical of Sarno's take that TMS will target an abnormality before we conciously know about it. But thats just evolution of the unconcious and reflex system that is millions of years in the making.
Flybynight has one of my favorite posts that tms is just a reflex of the mind, the mind has no choice and the treatment is to go on accepting this notion and the pain will subside over time. I climb utility poles in my line of work, and it always amazes me (reflexes) when I slip a bit of the incredible muscular lunge my skeletal muscular system makes to grasp the pole or a rung or anything, when I was as calm as can be thinking about golf or something. My unconsious reactions saved my life, and I did'nt have to lift a finger  (voluntarily).
The tms reflex is a bit more mysterious, however makes sense when its only present in the western world where we have mastered hiding our anger. |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2011 : 07:11:05
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skizzik...
It's the "immediate" cures that you see in the books. I know it's been talked about, and I know that people in the other real world take more time to get past it. My approach has been the "F-it" method, learned on this board, and to get on with doing things. That has helped loosen muscles that haven't really been used for about two years. Physical guarding and bracing and subconscious fear linger in the body and the mind. There is a lot that is not understood about how the brain functions, and just like when anti-bodies know when there is infection, I do believe the brain can pick out a "defect".
suegr98...
Yes, bad days seem to crash down the curtain on any progress. I have made a lot of progress. Two months ago I was in the mode of thinking that I would never jog or run again. Been out there doing that. Actually inside because it so damned cold and snowy. But doing it! No worse for the wear and it seems to loosen up the muscles. I used to love to run, especially in the hot weather. I always used to think while doing so that I hope I would always be able to, having heard somewhere that running is bad for your spine, and my thinking (then) that I seem to still have a good back. Then this, after severe stressful events. Wonder...just wonder... if that old brain picked a thing to really torment me.
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Backsliding and Doubt
