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StudentWithTMS
5 Posts |
 Posted - 12/27/2010 : 01:39:41
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Hi all. I noticed something about my triggers. I'm a gradstudent, so I get to work wherever and whenever I want. This may sound good, but in my case it has been harmful, at least as far as my TMS is concerned.
On some days, or stretches of days, I just stay at home all by myself. I spend those days part working, part procrastinating, and part worrying about all sorts of things. On these days, I often end up feeling lonely, and "in my own head" or "in a funk". I noticed that these kinds of days are correlated with exacerbation of my TMS. Often, I can get better by simply picking myself up and going to a coffeeshop to work instead...
Has anyone else noticed that loneliness, laziness, procrastination, and excessive time thinking by one's self are TMS triggers? What have you done about those triggers? |
Edited by - StudentWithTMS on 12/27/2010 01:40:51 |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2010 : 03:10:38
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Hi StudentgettingbetterfromTMS,
I don't know about it being a TMS trigger in my case, but one reason I decided against being a grad student was that I knew I wouldn't have the self-discipline needed to work by myself.
I need people around!
I learned years and years ago that I can't stay on my own for too long without feeling depressed and on periods where I haven't been working I've tried to make sure I get out and see people at least every other day.
At the same time I can't be 100% with other people – I need a certain amount of solitude as well. Balance is the key.
Hilary N
PS Are you able to find others to work with on your subject so you're not alone? Chat to them about your work? Even if the topic is different, you could still compare notes. |
Edited by - HilaryN on 12/27/2010 03:15:26 |
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suegr98
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2010 : 11:57:24
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yes yes and yes, so been there. It usually manifests in body aches but sometimes goes to a full blown pain. The underlying feelings are usually guilt and anxiety for me. You already know what to do, pick yourself up and get out! Or take care of whatever is worrying you then relax.
take good care,
Sue
http://healingwithfeelings.wordpress.com
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waterboy
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2010 : 20:41:13
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Funny you should write this. What you are describing totally happened to me this weekend. I was home for the holidays with my family, so it's not like I was that lonely, but there was nothing to do. A lot of my friends from back home were not around also, so there was a lot of sitting around and watching tv (which is something I actually don't do much of where I actually live).
Anyways, my TMS symptoms were kicking my butt the whole weekend. Not that the pain was that bad, but it was at the base of my skill and starting to show signs of headache, which I have a lot of PTSD about. I spent the worst year of my life with a chronic persistent tension headache right around there. I don't doubt that the headache was TMS, but it was associated with a lot of worry, depersonalization, and significant depression as well as cognitive problems. I fear being back in that awful place almost more than anything. So, with nothing to do, I had a lot of time to think about how bad things were and how bad things could be again. Also some general rumination on my life situation and how I feel like I've become broken in some way since this thing began started the old fear> worry> pain cycle.
Coming back to work today, it felt good to be around people again and be useful. I almost didn't want to leave. The pain was no longer at the base of my skull, and I just felt so much more relaxed. I could focus on my work and not churn my thoughts. I don't know what to suggest for you as a grad student other than trying to work at the library at your school or the coffee shop like you are doing. Also, going to the gym and taking free classes (esp spinning) has been a huge help for me as far as taking a break from poisoned thought circles.
TMS is a very lonely experience for me. It feels like an effort for me to socialize. It helps to have someone supportive to talk to who understands your condition and can offer constructive advice. Whether that be a friend, parent, or therapist, having someone like this can be essential to fighting the blues of loneliness. My dad is very generous in this respect and definitely seems to understand and encourage what I do in relieving myself of symptoms. I'm currently looking for a new therapist, as I have definitely seen the usefulness of one in the past. My current one kinda sucks and its been difficult to find a good one in the Bay Area that takes my insurance.
Best of Luck! |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 12/28/2010 : 08:37:54
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OP: quote:
I'm a gradstudent, so I get to work wherever and whenever I want. This may sound good, but in my case it has been harmful, at least as far as my TMS is concerned.
I think your points play a very important role in symptom manifestation. Perhaps we would get the symptoms anyway if we were in more populated social circumstances, but productive business and the company of others might mitigate them and keep them from programming our brains.
I work independently -- and alone-- and have for almost 30 years. I have no office to go to and have to travel often alone to other cities. Not to mention I live alone, too.
I've noticed at night, especially, I get other strange symptoms unrelated to my usual one. I talk these down and they go away.
When I work from home I now make sure I get out of here -- off to a coffee shop or library. It helps.
I saw a book awhile ago called "Bowling Alone". Haven't read it, but it is about, I believe, the breakdown of social institutions and what it has done to the country and to individuals.
With so many of us "bowling alone" it is no wonder chronic pain is the ulcer of this new century. |
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Hilary
United Kingdom
191 Posts |
Posted - 01/01/2011 : 12:45:42
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Oh - what a fabulously useful topic!
I've been on leave for 2 weeks - at home tootling about, no particular plans, not many other people about, feeling a bit spacy and lonely, and right now my anxiety is out of control. I'm also feeling dizzy and a bit depressed. I hate feeling isolated, separate and lonely - I start to brood and ruminate about what's gone wrong with my life.
After reading what waterboy wrote I realised that right now I'm feeling as if I "should" be glad to be on holiday, that many other people would love to be in my situation, that I "should" be grateful - but I don't - i want to get back to being productive and, yes, useful. |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2011 : 20:11:33
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Great topic. I can very much relate to it as someone who always had a high tolerance for being alone. Not so much anymore. Maybe it is because I am well into middle age and am unmarried, no kids, but I find I have a harder time with solitude. I actually used to enjoy traveling alone through Europe or wherever for weeks at a time alone. The thought of that now seems depressing.
As for physical symptoms being worse when alone, yes, definitely! Solitude and the lack of things to do are the devil's playground for me. The cycle generally runs from a random negative thought to worry to rumination to depression to depersonalization to apathy...the only thing that works is to quickly break the cycle by forcing myself to get out of the house at least. That takes care of a big part of the problem. Add in vigorous exercise or a friendly conversation with someone and I could be back to normal very quickly. |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2011 : 00:00:08
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOh yes, I so relate to what you are saying. I have many people tell me how lucky I am to work from a home office, where I get to dictate my hours.
But it really does breed introspection and that is hard for anyone, let alone those who struggle with rumination.
We are designed by nature to be surrounded by a tribe and even though I used to crave working alone (when I was being interrupted frequently in an open-plan office environment) I think that what you want and what you NEED are different things.
You are very normal!
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balto
839 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2011 : 11:05:08
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| I guess we human are herd animals just like cow, sheeps, and goats. We need to be with others like us. Without "our herd" we're not happy. Even Jesus and Buddha have monks and disciples with them all the time. I have a lonely traveling sale job. My symptoms used to be worse while I'm driving to an appointment, but it went away when I'm deep in a conversation with a client. I adopted meditation and breathing exercise and it help tremendously. |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2011 : 13:13:46
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quote:
Originally posted by balto
I guess we human are herd animals just like cow, sheeps, and goats. We need to be with others like us. Without "our herd" we're not happy. Even Jesus and Buddha have monks and disciples with them all the time. I have a lonely traveling sale job. My symptoms used to be worse while I'm driving to an appointment, but it went away when I'm deep in a conversation with a client. I adopted meditation and breathing exercise and it help tremendously.
How true. The Buddha and Jesus Christ did not go at it alone. In fact, when Jesus was in the desert for 40 days is when that Devil or Pain or Problem or Evil came to tempt Him.
Even in Jesus' worst moment in anticipation of the Pain and being put to death, he had friends in the garden near by. Okay, so they were sleeping. They were still there. How many of us are alone all the time, even when the pain is at its worse? Too many I think.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 07/26/2011 13:16:05 |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2011 : 15:13:07
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I'm pretty much an introvert, but too much time alone is deadly to me as well. Watery eyes, anxiety, spaced out feelings of depression, the whole shebang.
Since I'm really quite shy, it doesn't help me to just go out to a library or sit in a coffee shop or whatever. That can actually make things worse.
Also, I'm 60 now, retired from the business world, and so instead of going to the office every day I work at home freelance writing. Talk about an isolating profession.
Exercise helps greatly, the company of my wife and dogs. As I think about it, it's less a need for other people than a need to feel useful and engaged. I guess that's my introversion. A really good book or movie especially can perk me right up.
One learns to cope. I can identify with each and every one of you.. |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2011 : 21:31:23
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Lots of good stuff here. It's a sign of the times that so many people in the western world find they are leading "lives of quiet desperation." We are not encouraged to display weakness of any kind, especially if we are men. Hang tough, or at least make a joke about it, but don't whine because nobody wants to hear about it, lest they be infected too. Every man for himself.
Well, somewhat of an exaggeration, but you get the point. |
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Back2-It
USA
438 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2011 : 06:21:54
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quote:
Originally posted by wrldtrv
...We are not encouraged to display weakness of any kind, especially if we are men. Hang tough, or at least make a joke about it, but don't whine because nobody wants to hear about it, lest they be infected too. Every man for himself.
Well, somewhat of an exaggeration, but you get the point.
I was told by a women friend with anxiety problems that doctors do not take men seriously when it comes to anxiety disorders, and that they will much more readily identify anxiety problems in women than men.
Maybe it's so.
Maybe as men in the Western world we aren't hanging tough enough; maybe we don't have enough real things to worry about (like literal survival) so we turn inward. Maybe we are weak and this is why we are how we are? Perhaps this is a deserved fate and Darwinian in nature. Stronger genes;less weakness. The Alpha failures get the pain.
That said, lone men with no "tribes", as Balto says, are really at a disadvantage. You don't sit down with your buddies and talk about anxiety, depression, TMS or much any other damned thing. Worse, you finish the work day and there is nobody to talk to or be close to period. The door closes at night and you're the only one in the house. You and your stupid ass pain.
That's the way it goes. I guess you either live with it or die with it.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
Edited by - Back2-It on 07/27/2011 06:25:14 |
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Laziness/Loneliness/Unproductivity as triggers?
