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Erata
63 Posts |
Posted - 08/19/2010 : 12:53:19
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My daughter got married last weekend, and, along with it being a happy occasion, it was (as everyone here can understand), also highly stressful for the usual, and a couple of other very significant reasons. The wedding was two months after my final court hearing, which ended a 5 year highly contentious divorce battle & law suit. I really needed time to recover from that and not dive into helping plan and finance a wedding. More significant, two weeks before the wedding, one of my closest friend’s son was murdered--he had been friends with my daughter & fiancée, and he and his parents planned to be guests at the wedding. (Along with the unimaginable tragedy for my friend, it stirred up, for me, a lot of memories about my dad’s murder.) Plus, my ex planned to attend the ceremony.
By the day of the wedding, my Fibromyalgia and back symptoms were in full gear and I could barely move but got to the church with the help of a close friend. I was graciously cordial to my ex & his new partner (who I hadn’t met), though I truly wanted to punch him. They sat directly behind us, and when the minister asked for everyone to rise, I had trouble standing up. All of a sudden, my ex rushed over from behind me to my left side to ‘offer’ me his arm, which I refused and reached for support from my friend.
I understand to most his offer could look like a chivalrous, ‘gallant’ gesture, but my husband is highly psychopathic (I won’t detail his actions though prior to my experiences with him, I sincerely believed that the success or failure of a marriage was 50/50, but his abandonment of everyone and everything, along with his expensive & uncalled for law suit against me, went far beyond the pale) and I knew he was playing to an audience. (Plus, I simply didn’t want to touch him, nor did I want him near me.)
Anyway, later that evening I noticed there was a large ‘goose egg’ sized swelling on my left elbow. It didn’t hurt but I’d never before experienced anything like this and researched the internet until I found Bursitis. Later, my friend (who’s also a care giver), confirmed it’s Bursitis and that it wasn’t there before the wedding. I figured it was somehow TMS related; the anxiety & stress coincidently culminating in a ‘sack’ in my elbow, until I remembered that it was my left elbow that was directly involved with my ex-husband’s attention seeking pantomime.
Jeez, I guess my feelings needed to become physically evident for me to recognize how enraged I am with him—instead of being gracious & polite, I wanted to slug him, and of course, for my daughter’s sake, along with how one behaves in polite company, I had to stifle my feelings……….
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 08/20/2010 : 06:15:47
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Wow what a stressful story, stressed me out just reading it, are you feeling better. Seems all is over now, and maybe life can be quiet for awhile and you can rest and relax,
sounds like the divorce was long and bitter, its like you've been in high drive for a long time and you just hated the thought of having to go to the wedding but needed too. |
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