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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 01/19/2005 : 15:23:20
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I have started so many different threads over the past couple of days, how exciting! Anyway, as I mentioned in one of them, beginning yesterday my pain has increased a bit--which I most likely attributed to starting school again after a long winter break. Now, I know others have mentioned this in the past, Tennis Tom comes to mind, but I feel as though I'm not doing "enough" to banish the "TMS gremlin." I am very aware that this could be nothing more than my perfectionist tendencies taking center stage. So, I'm still a bit confused as to what I should be doing throughout the day. I am going to add Baseball's recommendations for journaling to what I am already doing now, and I always try to read some of either MBP or To be or not to be every night; but I still feel like I'm not doing something right. Maybe this is becuase progress--at least my progress--has been slow, and I--like many others--am impatient! Lastly, remember I spoke about that part of me that would whisper "I don't want to get better", which I attributed to fear and not wanting to leave this "comfort zone" that has been established. Well, while it has definately quieted down since I began the work, I can still feel it in me. Everything I begin to encourage it I try to tell myself that it's just fear and that I must work through it. But, I guess my main concern is even though I am telling myself this, it hasn't GONE away completely, and I am under the assumption that this--and many other things--must go away COMPLETELY in order for recovery to occur. Am I going a bit too far with this? It's snowing here in NY, yay!
Seth |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 21:12:33
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Hi Seth,
Its hard, been there myself, to unlearn all the ingrained bad habits...
- - - - think, worry, pain, worry, think, over analyze, pain, think, ouch, worry some more, why is this taking so long, think, read Sarno, think, think, think, gosh it still hurts, worry, think, maybe I should make another Dr. appointment, think, worry, will I ever be normal again, YES BE PATIENT - - -.
I had to un-learn, re-learn, and re-re-learn that it could take a day, a week, a month a year, dunno how long. It doesn't matter, rid your mind of questions, do the work in HBP/MBP and have complete faith in your TMS diagnoisis.
If progress is slow, that's GREAT! Its progress !! The rest will come. Have faith.
Take care, -Stryder |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 12:04:24
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Thanks Stryder, your words are very encouraging. Today, I am still not feeling all that hot. I took your advice from another thread and attempted to channel some anger in the car. I did not work myself into a fury, rather I just tried to focus on the so-called trivial aspects of life (the slow driver in front of me and the like). leaving the heavier stuff for journaling (this, on the advice of Baseball). Since I tend to focus on the symptoms very, very often, I find myself switching into this "anger mode" quite frequently. Interestingly enough, in the past I did not actually "think" about what was making me angry per se, I would just tell my brain "it's all psychological." Now I realize--and correct me if I'm wrong--that it is the potent combination of both techniques that work to dissolve TMS conditioning. It's amazing how by re-reading Sarno I am picking up on so many things missed in previous readings. Onward soldiers!
Seth |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 13:39:37
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| Seth-I think you have a great attitude but be carefull you don't try too hard. Our obsessive and perfectionist tendencies make us sometimes overdue it. We want to make sure we leave no stone unturned. If we feel better working at it an hour a day, won't we feel that much better working at it 3 hours? I don't think so. I think ignoring tms and going about our daily routine is one of the most theraputic things we can do for ourselves. You might ease up just a tad and don't try to measure your amount of "cure" each day. It usually comes in shades and before you know it, you suddenly realize you are much better. Give it some time. With your attitude, you will be just fine. |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 21:27:11
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Susie,
What kind words! I think you're right and raise an interesting point at that. My "true" OCD started in about 6th grade and when the whole TMS fiasco hit it blew up. I have been on medication for over a year, without which I do not think I'd be able do the work in the first place--although I still have some fears that I will not get better because I am taking medication, because it might be actually giving me a headache so that if my TMS one were to go away I would still have one (rediculous right?). I brought this fear up in another thread I believe. In any event, as we all know, personalities rarely do change and while my OCD symptoms might be quelled a bit, I still am very perfectionist/goodist, the only difference being my realization that such traits are in fact connected to TMS. So, I do think I should ease up a bit, because--as you mentioned--I do find myself trying to measure "cure"--based upon how I felt I did my TMS work for that day. Although this is hard to do, because I guess you need to find the happy medium, which is hard. I think I am putting way too much emphasis on me not doing a good enough job (perfectionist right?). Hope everyone is well. Goodnight.
Seth |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 05:47:39
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Hey Seth.
I think you're right on when you say : quote:
I feel as though I'm not doing "enough" to banish the "TMS gremlin." I am very aware that this could be nothing more than my perfectionist tendencies taking center stage
Of course...
 says:"you're not working hard enough buddy"
says: "this won't work for you buddy"
says:"That's not really you..you have a Realproblem!"
Now that I'm reading a book that discusses them,I guess I used mantras as well to get better,though they were all of my own making ,and some resembled tourettes in that my "mantra's" were stuff like:
""Fuc# you David,(My "problem")I hate you more than you'll ever know...can you feel the bat crush your orbital ridge???
FEEL the pain,Fcker!! AHHHHHRGGHH !""
or in a quieter moment:
"We don't need you anymore...you're like an annoying little brother begging for attention,and unfortunately I have none to give you."
Than,I'd turn my attention to whatever task was at hand...this was when I was nearing the finish line so to speak....using the "focus on a source of anger(David)" and,talk to your head,or rather to the tMS directly.
If you feel an emotional source of anger,scribble it down on a scrap of paper,and develop a habit of dealing with it at another time when you aRE LESS DISTRACTED...the mind will begin to see that you are consistent about addressing it's needs,and the distraction will vanish.
peace
Baseball65 |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 01/21/2005 05:50:48 |
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Trying too hard?
