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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
 Posted - 01/19/2005 : 09:37:27
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Yesterday as I drove home from work I noticed pain in my neck, thought of something that was bugging me, got mad and verbalized about it, and the pain went away.
This morning I woke up early with my typical back spasm. First I analytically tried to explain to my unconscious mind, why the cause couldn't possibly be physical. The spasm didn't go away, so instead I tuned into my inner rage and felt quite a bit of it, and my spasm went away. Not permanently though. Just while I felt rage and and for a short while afterwards.
While driving to work this morning I tried to be aware of anything that made me angry, and it wasn't until this one lady made a lane change that took for ever (come on lady, one lane per person) that I really felt some anger.
But I noticed something. A part of my mind doesn't want to feel angry about all of the annoyances that go on in life. It doesn't want to invest that much energy. It wants to be lazy and just feel comfortable and not be bothered about things. Of course, that might lead to TMS pain. HERE'S THE QUESTION: In order to get rid of TMS pain, will I have to become a person who frequently gets consciously mad? |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 10:14:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Albert
But I noticed something. A part of my mind doesn't want to feel angry about all of the annoyances that go on in life. It doesn't want to invest that much energy. It wants to be lazy and just feel comfortable and not be bothered about things. Of course, that might lead to TMS pain. HERE'S THE QUESTION: In order to get rid of TMS pain, will I have to become a person who frequently gets consciously mad?
Excellent observation. This is exactly what leads to TMS. But it's not what you think: it's not about laziness, it's about repression.
Your anger at the lady making a lane change was displaced anger. It's not an escape valve, it's a defense mechanism. It's not the type of anger that adds to the rage that is the root of TMS.
To answer your question, you do not have to become consciously angry at everyday annoyances to get rid of the pain. You have to try to come to terms with what is making you angry on the inside -- the anger you do not feel, the anger your unconscious mind is trying to distract you from. That anger is much more deeply rooted in your psyche, it is typically rooted in harsh self-judgment, lack of confidence in oneself, etc. |
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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 10:41:38
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Thank you for the response. Coincidently (?), I read a little of Dr. Sarno's HBP this morning, and the section called "low self-esteem" caught my attention. While driving to work this morning I thought about this subject, and figured that ultimately there is no absolute standard as to what makes a person superior or inferior. Society has arbritary standards. I got angry about that this morning and cursed society for suggesting that I have to be a certain way. Even though I usually feel good about myself (my positive self view is tied in with my goodist traits), there are times when my self image is pretty low. For example, the last time I went out on a date (a blind date), I had this strong feeling going through my mind that the lady I was with couldn't possibly be interested in me.
I think I might be angry about how I've let myself get pushed around through out my life. As I've self reflected during the past few weeks I've been focusing on the people who have pushed me around. Perhaps I should try to see how angry I am with myself.
quote:
Originally posted by Dave
To answer your question, you do not have to become consciously angry at everyday annoyances to get rid of the pain. You have to try to come to terms with what is making you angry on the inside -- the anger you do not feel, the anger your unconscious mind is trying to distract you from. That anger is much more deeply rooted in your psyche, it is typically rooted in harsh self-judgment, lack of confidence in oneself, etc.
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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 10:50:56
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| To be more precise, I might be angry at myself for not standing up for myself more. For instance, I started to have pain on a regular basis during a job in which I didn't stand up to my boss enough, and took a lot of guff from her that I shouldn't have taken. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 11:35:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Albert
To be more precise, I might be angry at myself for not standing up for myself more.
That's a good start ... but why do you find yourself in those positions? Why do you get so angry when people "push you around?" Are you sure they are pushing you around, or is that your own self-image getting in the way? Maybe you're letting them push you around because deep down you feel like you deserve that kind of treatment.
Anyway, this is hypothetical ... just illustrating that you have to try to dig deep into your psyche, figure out where the low self-esteem comes from, and try to feel the emotions that accompany it. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 22:13:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Albert
...snip... In order to get rid of TMS pain, will I have to become a person who frequently gets consciously mad?
Hi Albert,
Maybe yes in a way, maybe no, depends on what you figure out that works for you.
You are in transition. Since you have realized this question, you are starting to see the cause/effect of TMS.
I went through this about 5 months ago, and I started to verbally explode at people, even my family who I love deeply. At first I didn't realize what was happening, since I had been repressing my anger for 30 years. Fortunately I quickly understood that I was now feeling my emotions for the first time in a long while, and verbalizing my anger was relieving my physical pain.
But of course, that can't continue since everyone you deal with will consider you a real jerk, and you can kiss goodbye your friendships and loved ones. Coincidently, with several of Tennis Tom's posts, I started to channel my anger, in the car, while on the long drive to work, by shouting within the privacy of my auto where no one would get hurt. This helped quite a bit, since I could now really feel and express my anger, an no one gets caught in the cross fire. I still use my car as the cone of silence to vent it.
So, find a way that works for you, to feel your anger, accept it, channel it out away from you in a manner that doesn't hurt anyone. Pound you fists in a pillow. Scream (in the cone of silence). Chop wood. Go to the recycling center and break glass in the bins (wear safety glasses ;-)
After you complete the transition, then work on accepting what happens in your life to solve the anger and not repress the anger.
Take care, -Stryder |
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Albert
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 09:43:59
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Thank you Stryder:
I've been using car commuting time to get angry. Also, I live alone in a house, so I can get angry there too. Actually, I do more than just get angry. I've been reflecting on the various things that have gone on in my life, with the hope of dealing with culprits that have caused me to build up repressed rage.
Sometimes it seems as if I don't feel as angry about things as I should. It is possible that I don't realize how angry I am about certain things. I'm working on it. |
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Question about anger and rage
