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Amanda
USA
2 Posts |
 Posted - 04/09/2010 : 20:39:23
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Hey everyone,
I haven't been here for many years. I never posted much but I did find wonderful support when I needed it most and I haven't had any back issues in many many years thanks to Dr. Sarno and this group.
But I'm having some new issues and I feel I really need some support right now. I know it's all related to TMS so I thought this would be a good place for me.
Here's my story (I'll try to be brief). After my back pain subsided I started getting panic attacks (which I had had on and off since college). This was in 2005 and I decided finally after many years that I was going to get to the bottom of it if it killed me. I just knew in my heart this wasn't something I could solve with medication. I knew I was doing this to myself and I felt I was strong enough to face it head on. I dialed in on Claire Weekes' book and it took about 2-3 months of agonizing work but I got 'to the other side' (those of you who suffer from panic attacks know what I'm talking about). In fact, it seemed nothing short of an epiphany. And I have been riding that joy for 5 years, always knowing "at least if I fall back into the hole, I know there is a way out again" so really, I finally have my cure.
About a month ago I started having terrible bladder spasms. At first I thought I was getting a bladder infection but something told me this was different. And sure there was no infection. It fits all the classic symptoms of TMS. I quickly started getting panicky over it, and zoom, back into the hole. At first I could keep my head and go in and out but now I am sunk so deep into the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle I just can't get myself out. If I have the panic symptoms, I usually don't have the bladder pain...and vice versa.
My problem getting through this is one is that although I know 'somewhere' in my head that the bladder spasms stem from the same stress and adrenalin rush as the panic, and if I could just stop the adrenalin and wait it out a couple of days, the pain would probably subside. But I just can't seem to make the connection. I have never had physical AND mental manifestations simultaneously. I'm just flipping from one to the other and back again with no rest in between. And since the Claire Weekes book doesn't really address bladder spasms as a panic symptom, I am feeling abandoned by my only hope for recovery (in case you can't tell, I am deep in 'panic head' now). I am still trying to follow Weekes process of floating and accepting, but with each day the panic seems to get worse.
Has anyone been though this before? Had these particular symptoms. I could use a good success story right about now. Or at least some advice or support.
thanks,
Amanda
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2010 : 01:14:31
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Alright Amanda I'm gonna try what I can and hope it helps.
You're already familiar with the stuff so I'm just going to send you a reminder:
The first one is that there is nothing wrong with you physically if you already went through the tests regarding your problems and you may know that but it's easy to forget with doubt creeping in .
The second thing is that you'll get better as soon as you'll get some grip on the handles of fear so the sooner the better here is something you need to think about:
Fear can not exist if there is no tension in your body,(yes in that order, not the other way around) just try to fear something while your body is in a totally relaxed state and tell me what happens.
What you wrote could confirm that :quote:
but with each day the panic seems to get worse.
yes of course if the tension is building up. And the best way to lower the tension is to be in the present moment. cut off the access to the past except for that is positive maybe and definitely restrict access to the future and focus on the present moment. You should be able to have the panic under control as soon as you achieve that.
Why did you become fearful suddenly? : Something must have happened that threatened your confidence (sometimes toxic old patterns of thinking or doing things go away after some work but we are also quick at forgetting their effects and the result is a relapse because you're caught off guard)and that's one way you could have accumulated tension without noticing mostly because you were pain free.
If you never had physical and mental manifestation at the same time you can consider yourself lucky, it doesn't make the pain go away but it helps putting thing back into place while thinking it could be much worse. The best way to use this luck is to fragment the problem in let's say three pieces the panic attacks /the back pain / the bladder problem and deal with one thing at a time. this will have for effect to tell you if things are really connected or not as logically if it is when one gets better so should the other two within reasonable time. an other thing you want to know is how you technically eliminated the problem with the theory you used earlier because it may have to be used in a slightly different manner but on the same principle in order to strengthen the belief and the method.
I did not have the bladder symptoms but I definitely had severe panic attacks and got over it with the method described above so I hope you can make good use of it with a little bit of practice.
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Edited by - catspine on 04/10/2010 01:27:19 |
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Amanda
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2010 : 21:12:52
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Thanks catspine,
I worked very hard today to take your advice and stay in the moment, not let myself get swept away with fear, and it worked. The symptoms were much less severe and I really feel like the adrenalin surges are, at least for the moment, under control. I can think straight and hopefully get a leg back up. And this gives me hope.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Thanks
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catspine
USA
239 Posts |
Posted - 04/11/2010 : 00:50:28
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Hi Amanda
A good news is always pleasant, be patient try to stay in the moment.
If your mind is racing with questions just put a sign out there for you to look at and for anyone who'd think about removing you from the present moment:
OFF DUTY - NOT AVAILABLE.
If you got hope it's even better... you can't hope and doubt at the very same time, here too you have a choice.
Focus on releasing the tension.
You said you tried VERY hard to stay in the moment today. Have you ever read anything or watch a dvd from Ekhart Tolle about being in the moment? you may find in there what you need to ease the process and plenty more. If you're physically stuck this is the time to take the time to do it. you'll get the benefit of the teaching at the time you need it the most.
Also Do you feel any better if you put a warm pouch or an electric blanket over the painful area for a while? This sometime helps to relax the muscles involved in the tension.
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panic attacks and bladder spasms
