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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/11/2005 : 21:29:55
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I got to thinking today (a good thing I suppose), more specifically, about understanding the particular concepts on a "gut level". For instance, I am on my nth re-reading of MBP and even though I understood it back when I first started, certain ideas are still setting off "AHA'S!" in my head. Like the chapter when Sarno describes differences that exist between hysterical and conversion disorders (the overarching term escapes me) and TMS; with the former causing no apparent physiologic changes, and the later--as we all know--doing just the opposite. Now, while I understood that TMS decreases blood flow and oxygen it was not until today when during my daily reading of "the scriptures" I actually fully realized this disparity. Am I making sense? It's as if before it was being read, but not being fully processed, or perhaps I wasn't paying specific attention to that part of the book in particular. In any event, can anybody relate to what I am describing and I am assuming that the more of these moments we have the closer we are at reaching cessation of pain?
Also, while I am trying very hard to fall victim to the "calendar phenomenon", I still have fleeting moments of panic when I think "what if 8 months from now I still have my headache--and any other minor phyiscal symptoms to boot? I try and tell myself to stop thinking this way, that this is my unconscious trying to scare me. But having so many failures in the past--as I'm sure many of you can relate to--I cannot help these thoughts sometimes. Lastly, while my pain has had a few minor ups and downs since starting Sarno, what I have noticed is that over the past two months I have had quite a decrease in my fear, and an increase in understanding the relating to the concepts. Could it be possible that this in fact is a precursor to the physical recovery? Thanks!
Goodnight!
Seth |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2005 : 14:15:33
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Seth, I know how you feel because it took me about a year to fully recover and it was around the 8th month mark that those last few nagging doubts started to gnaw away at me. Don't give up. Think how much progress you have made, journal about it or write Dr. Sarno a letter of thanks and describe the difference in how you feel now compared to then - I believe this kind of taking stock may help you.
I had these moments in the midst of my recovery where I couldn't imagine how much pain I used to be in; it's like I couldn't quite believe it had been real. But when I really thought about how I used to come home from work each evening and take pain pills and go to bed crying, when I looked back at the amazing progress I'd achieved in those months and looked at the difference in my life - external and internal - I realized what a miracle I had achieved.
That sense of buoyancy made me able to laugh at the little sliver of fear (instead of being angry with it, which had been a good strategy at first) and laughing at it made it dissolve away. It gradually melted away until one day I noticed, "hey, I feel good and I haven't even THOUGHT about my neck and shoulders for days"! This will happen for you too, I know it. Your posts show someone who is winning this fight. |
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lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 01/13/2005 : 21:57:45
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Logan,
Thanks for your two cents. It really helps to hear stories from others who didn't have that celebrated "quick fix."
Seth |
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