| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
lilly
9 Posts |
 Posted - 06/22/2009 : 09:40:17
|
Ok, so right off the top let me admit I was foolish in going to a doctor. I've had TMS with long periods of being pain free. I occasionally get tightness in my back and leg. This usually goes away when I lay off an activity for a couple of days, talk to myself, do some journaling, etc. I teach yoga and work at a gym so I have not been able to rest much. I do question whether I hurt myself BECAUSE I work at a one-size fits all women's gym. At first, I felt great working out (not something I usually do - just yoga) and started pushing myself more and more even though I felt some discomfort on some of the machines. A friend and I decided to go to a very expensive clinic (yes, I know - another dumb thing) I had heard about from a well-known yoga teacher and physical therapist who actually thinks Sarno has answers for much of the pain in our society but not all (seeds of doubt sown) - thinking I could get rid of my nagging hip pain. . At this clinic one is given very simple exercises for "physical" conditions (much of it lying on the floor) I was photographed and shown how my shoulders are rounded forward (barely) and my right leg swings out. Of course, what they want is for one to sign up for a series of 8 sessions at $150 a pop. My friend was ready to do it, but I was not a. smelling shades of chiropractic and b. not having that kind of money to throw around. Nonetheless, dutifully went home and did the exercises they gave me which put my butt into spasm and kept it there (probably due to voluntarily putting myself into their clutches). I noticed my ankle swelling and assumed it was because I was standing more and my bad sprain from a year ago had just made my ankle fatter with scar tissue. Then I realized it was swollen on the inside and at the Achilles tendon (I had felt some extreme pulling there in yoga but chose to ignore it). So stupid me, I went to the doctor after reading that anything with the Achilles is hard to treat, and by the way my hip is hurting to the point of not being able to walk up stairs easily. Of course, I cannot leave empty handed - a diagnosis for the ankle and the hip: Achilles tendonitis and trochanter bursitis. I was given exercises printed off the web for both and a rx for heel lifts and told that the Achilles would take a long time to fix and need to wear heel lifts every day, all day and to do the exercises for bursitis. If that didn’t work the only thing that would work is a shot of cortisone. Oddly, one of the exercises was the same one that puts my butt into spasm.
So now I am right back where I was 3 years ago, the same amount of suffering and fear. I am trying to treat it all as TMS after my lapse in judgement in going to see doctor and pt. It's emotional, patterned behavior. But I'm left with two nagging questions: yoga teachers injure themselves all the time with overstretching tendons rather than muscle (I’ve met so many teachers in pain and yoga gurus who ask, “what are we doing to ourselves?) and my ankle/tendon is swollen, less so in the am then fat by the end of the day. It seems likely that the tendonitis is real, because I did participate in a new activity. But as someone said – real or not, I’m obsessing about it.
Hope this makes sense as I’m trying to bypass my perfectionistic tendancies in the effort to get this posted. Comments about the Achilles would be helpful and whether wearing a heal lift is the right way to go.
|
|
|
salamander
85 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2009 : 10:54:55
|
Sarno indicates that "most" tendonitis is TMS. Having suffered through Tendonitis in my elbow, foot, knee, shoulder, I tend to agree. I also found it somewhat difficult to get ride of. My suggestion would be to try and keep active and ignore it as best as you can. If you eliminate activity, you feed into the "injury" notion, which in turn feeds into TMS.
I once rested my shoulder for a month, with limited to no activity. The pain was just as bad, if not worse. I finally just said, screw it and resumed activity, and the pain disappeared.
my 2 cents.
Doug |
 |
|
|
lilly
9 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2009 : 08:28:29
|
| Thanks, Doug. I just read your post on your nearly disastrous trip and how you persevered. Wow. So now I'm back to roaming the house barefoot and ignoring the ankle. I was surprised at how negative the Dr. was: "It won't get better unless you wear lifts and it probably won't get better without cortisone." I picked her because she looked athletic, so assumed she'd say, "Oh, it's nothing -- just keep on going." |
|
|
|
crk
124 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2009 : 09:05:21
|
Hi Lilly,
I am so sorry to read about your situation. It sounds classic to me. The more clinics and treatments you go through, the more you are focusing on the physical. TMS brain LOVES this. TMS brain wants more treatments, exercises, appointments, etc.
I'm just a stranger on the internet to you, but for what it's worth, here is one voice saying "Achilles Tendonitis, like all tendonitis, is B.S.!!!!!" It is TMS.
My encouragement to you would be to journal enough so that you know where it is coming from, the source of your rage and anxiety, and the current issues and attitudes that are making this happen to you now.
TMS exists to distract you, but I believe it also exists to shine a light on the path towards mental health. Every insecurity and negative piece of thinking that is holding you back in life -- these are mental habits and distortions from which TMS can lead you away!
TMS sucks! But it can push you out the door of your own prison. This is what Sarno means by "think psychologically at all times." Not wallow in your psychological problems, but face them and tackle them and forget about physical problems that do not exist.
Let's take "perfectionism" for example. Through journaling, you can find out where you learned the insecurity and self-hatred from which perfectionism springs. Then you know why it is that you have learned to fight that with an absurd need to get every little thing just right or abandon it altogether (I know about this first hand). Where do you go from there? I just started a thread about positive self talk; that is one way to tackle it. You can also use psychotherapy, self help books, or some other methods I don't know about. The bottom line is that your view of yourself must change for the better. As soon as you start moving in that direction, your pain will disappear.
I hope this helps! |
|
|
|
Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 06/23/2009 : 17:12:01
|
Hi lilly,
About 10 years ago, when I found Dr. Sarno's book, I began to recover from 10 years of upper back and neck pain. My success story is here:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5469
My back pain was resolving and I was increasing my physical activity after being almost bedridden for months. I was swimming laps, trying to gently resume activity. One day, I felt so good that I swam for 45 minutes (longer than usual). Some time after that, I noticed some pain at my achilles tendons of both ankles. It was moderately painful and I wondered if I had swum too long. I went to see my primary MD who suspected tendonitis and suggested orthotics (supports worn in the shoes). I purchased the orthotics and tried them out, but didn't use them for too long because I realized this was just the symptom imperative!!
I decided that what was happening, was just what Dr. Sarno described in his books. My brain didn't have the back pain as a distraction anymore, so it was trying somewhere new. I threw the orthotics out, ignored the discomfort, went back to the pool, did some journaling and re-reading and what do you know? The pain went away.
Of course something new popped up now and again, but now I had it moving around and those symptom imperatives were short lived if I kept at the emotional work and finding that balance Dr. Sarno mentions; the rage/soothe ratio.
Good luck,
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
|
|
|
lilly
9 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2009 : 20:14:59
|
CRK: Thanks for your suggestions. I've had The Self-Talk Solution for years and pulled it off the shelf when this latest bout came on (also inspired by the thread on positive self-talk). Sometimes I feel a bit Stuart Smalleyish when I do it, but there's no doubt it helps. Although, I do have to watch that I'm not just trying to gloss over something really troublesome and needing resolution.
Peg: Thanks for the story about your achilles. Very weird to have orthotics suggested after doing something you thought happened while swimming. Just shows that the poor doctors are grasping. Funny, when I got the dx for the tendonitis and subsequent lifts along with the dire warning, I pulled out a pair of custom orthotics that I had worn, and later abandoned when I found Sarno. I thought to use them because I found it very uncomfortable to be up on cotton pads without any support. So now I've put them aside for the past two days and put on the shoes that I was associating with the pain. Amazingly, the swelling has gone down. I suppose I should toss the orthos, but it's hard to dump when they cost me $200.00.
I also plan on being more diligent with my journal writing. I have huge, huge, huge, huge, huge (did I say "HUGE"?) internal stress right now but exhibit a very calm, cool exterior.
I'm glad I put this question out to you all, thereby helping to prevent this episode from getting any more out of control than it was. The dx was only last Friday.
I feel positive I can give an update in the not-to-distant-future of me doing yoga and everything else easily and comfortably.
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Achilles Tendonitis, etc.
