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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - 04/11/2009 : 10:44:13
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Ten years this spring. Victory Baby!!!
"10 days and a couple of 2 day follow ups" 
I keep reading threads of people who recover from their original symptoms, but than come down with a 'real' condition.
I think it worth mentioning that some of my later expeditions into the TMS jungle have been a lot slicker and trickier than my first experience. The Shoulder things I have had a few times, always seemed so plausible .I have thrown baseballs for 4 decades...hard. I have fallen bad enough to expose the bone on my elbow whilst skateboarding in a pool. True to the plan, I have never calendar-ed them, but sometimes the graduate course was definitely longer than my original back pain recovery a.k.a. TMS 101. Just as psychosomatic in origin, but a lot trickier because "I know all of this crap"
The same with my knee. I have been a painter and construction worker for 20 something years..... a lifetime on my knees, physically and metaphorically, though the metaphor probably has a lot more to do with the rage and pain than the actual activities. The knee was about a spring and part of a summer in duration, though it would come and go as the rage inducing situations spun around me.... a symbolic dance of symbiotic dysfunction..."I need you-I don't-I need you-I don't"
The Longer I've done this, the more scarier places I have had to sweep out. The leg thing was pretty much exclusively related to my marriage. I grew up with the idea that people stay together until they die...The Idea of having to leave my wife/family was probably so terrifying to my subconscious (and rage inducing!) that I needed that pain desperately. Funny...I have had a few hours of 'relapse' if you will, and it is always when I am getting along with her???
In my first round with back pain, all I had to do was be conscious that my marriage produced a lot of rage.....later, as the symptoms grew stickier, I had to finally cut the Gordian knot. The end of connubial bliss was the beginning of resolution. It's actually been instructive and guiding, though when I originally faced it I thought I would melt, or need to go cry on somebody else's shoulder e.g. replace her.... not!
anyways...if you've fallen victim to TMS before , it doesn't seem like you have any sort of 'advantage' over people discovering it for the first time. Each time it happens it is another time to investigate what's going on....and it's like an onion...as you peel it away, a new layer always appears, and although smaller, it sure seems a helluva' a lot harder...but it's still do-able.
cheers...be well
-BB65
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Webdan65
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 04/12/2009 : 09:21:58
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Thanks baseball...
This post helps me confirm that I'm not nuts. I've wondered why symptoms return or persist despite my firm belief that TMS is and has always been my issue.
Hearing someone talk about how it comes back in a more insidious or "sticky" way echoes my experience. Different emotions, different times of my life - and sometimes different pain symptoms.
Interesting stuff....very interesting.
Thanks for the post. Proves that just cause we beat TMS once and know what happened the first time, that it can come back. Don't get suckered into thinking - "well since I know about TMS and beat it, then THIS time it must be something really wrong with my body."
Clearly that's not the case, just TMS rearing it's ugly head again.
Dan |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2009 : 09:34:30
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Congrats on 10 years, Baseball.
Good to hear from you again!
Your post reminded me of the Eastern concept of "beginner's mind," a mindset I am constantly struggling to create/maintain/accept as a writer. Every time I finish one story or essay and start on another, I feel like "I know this stuff;" but every time it's a whole new journey. It's just as exhilarating and terrifying as the first time I stared down a blank page.
So it is w/ TMS equivalents. Lately I've had this inner ear fluid thing. I've thought about going to a doctor for it, though I've had it before and it's gone away on it's own before. Such BS! Such TMS! I just finished my thesis, looking forward to graduating, and facing the worst job market since the Great Depression, plus my dad has cancer, so does my dog, my mom's still infuriatingly my mom...why would I be angry?? or sad??
Thanks for the reminder that the journey goes on!
Best of luck on yours!
Sarno's books + journaling + Facing the Fire by John Lee + punching bag = pain free |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 04/13/2009 : 18:15:52
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Hi Baseball,
Congrats! Thanks for sharing some wisdom, too.
I've really found a lot of encouragement in your posts! Thanks for being honest and true!!! |
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TMS versions 2.0, 3.3, 8.5 and 10.0
