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inaned
Bulgaria
28 Posts |
 Posted - 04/05/2009 : 23:18:15
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March 31, 2009
Hello everyone,
I am writing here, because in my country (Bulgaria)I cannot get any help on TMS. The books of Dr. Sarno are not translated, not because there is no interest to them, but to protect the official medicine from going bust. So, here's my story:
After 5 years of pain, endless visits to neurologists, neurosurgeons who gave me the most scary diagnoses, psychologists, chiropractors, fortune tellers, whatever other magicians one can imagine, I have made up my mind to have surgery in the most famous spinal surgery clinic in Munich. To my utter surprise, I have been told there was nothing wrong with my back, and the doctors could not pinpoint the reason for my pains. I was desperate. Then, a friend of mine, living in Boston, sent me one of Dr. Sarno’s books - “The Mindbody Prescription’. I read it, re-read it, and with no exageration, the effect was immediate and staggering. In less than two weeks my pain was gone with no trace, followed by most of my fears. I regained all I had lost or given up and enjoyed 18 splendid months of freedom. I believed I was cured.
However, the pain came back a month ago. It is not as disabling as it used to be, because I know there is no physical cause for it. I also know it will go away again. What I don’t understand is why this time it is so persistent. I’ve been doing my homework, going through the book over and over, thinking about all stressing factors I have experienced in the last couple of months, trying to identify my programmed reactions and triggers. There was a coincidence of several stressors. I lost a great job just before Christmas last year. I felt very angry, although there was a good explanation – the global crisis. I knew I would be among the first laid off because I was too expensive. Still, I could not help thinking that my Employer must have been dissatisfied with my performance. I managed to get another job the very next day, but this did not dissipate my anger. I was and still am furious. This is a conscious feeling. I am aware this whole thing has undermined my self confidence and has contributed to my feeling of insecurity and low self esteem.
I was kind of shocked that the pain returned three months after the events, not immediately. I went skiing on March 3, 2009. I had muscle soreness the next day, which gradually evolved into the good old sciatica. The pain shifts from one leg to the other, varies in intensity, seems to get worse with the sudden changes of weather, sometimes with sitting, standing, just resting, etc. It shows all typical characteristics of a TMS pain.
Now, why does it take so long this time? What is that I am not doing to stop my brain form playing tricks on me? I have no answer. I obviously need more info.
April 1, 2009
Today I woke up with an insight. I saw the videos of Dr. Schrebner last night and I heard The Key Word. I understood how self programming occurs. It has to do with our EXPECTATIONS. Things will happen as you expect them to. I was expecting, unconsciously of course, that when a certain type of pain appears, it can only get worse if I don’t give myself a rest. And this was exactly what happened. I was expecting that the events of last December will affect me physically. And they did. I was expecting that my Japanese employers would not tolerate my need of relative freedom, like having little breaks when I feel like it, but this is not the case. I myself had put such limitations on me, not them!!! And my whole being was revolting against being restricted. In fact, I have enough freedom. I am being appreciated. Nobody is keeping account of the time I spend in the office. The important thing is to get the job done, and I am doing it!
When I woke up this morning, the pain was still there. Then I recalled the Key Word and said to myself: “Why should you expect to get pain when going on site? When chairing meetings? When sitting in your recliner at the office? There is no reason.” Then I just knew no pain will bother me today. I will ask myself the same question every single day from now on. I will start questioning my expectations about every aspect of my life. See what happens. But I already know. This knowledge has finally got into my subconscious. The learning process has begun and is irreversible. Full stop.
April 3, 2009
For a change, I got a rash, hahaha! It’s not giving up easily. Could it be that I am missing something important? I would appreciate your advice!
Yours,
Ina
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Chrysalis
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2009 : 12:32:52
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"It has to do with our EXPECTATIONS. Things will happen as you expect them to."
I think that is a really big part of all my problems too. |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2009 : 15:08:00
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Sounds like you're doing great, Ina - just keep at it!
Hilary N |
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inaned
Bulgaria
28 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2009 : 23:34:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Chrysalis
"It has to do with our EXPECTATIONS. Things will happen as you expect them to."
I think that is a really big part of all my problems too.
It is indeed amazing what we can do to ourselves with our expectations. I think, the trick is to stop one's unconscious expectations from turning into reality. This can be really hard. There is an Uzbec author - Mirzakarim Norbekov, who suggests an interesting technique. No matter how you consciously feel, control your body language to show happiness. Smile artificially, improve your posture to look like a total winner. The mind then will start wondering "WTF??? How can the body react to negative feelings with a smile?" If one persists, the mind will bring the whole system in balance. That's in brief the quint essence of Norbekov's method. I've tried it and managed to improve my eyesight! |
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inaned
Bulgaria
28 Posts |
Posted - 04/06/2009 : 23:41:18
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quote:
Originally posted by HilaryN
Sounds like you're doing great, Ina - just keep at it!
Hilary N
Thank you, I am on the way to full recovery. I am still hungry for more information, though. As I said, I cannot consult a TMS expert in my counry - such simply does not exist here, nor get any support. Even from my family, who still have a hard time believing what they are seing. So, I'd be really gratefull if you guys have any suggestions or advice! |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 04/08/2009 : 09:37:44
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Hi Ina,
As much information as there is out there, in the end, we all have to find our own way, because there is no single thing which works for everyone.
But of course, the more info we have, the easier it is to find the way which works for us.
There's lots on this forum, but it's hard to know where to start. Have you had a look at the TMS wiki? (www.tmswiki.org) It was only started in January this year but is growing rapidly. There's a list of books people have found useful:
http://tmswiki.wetpaint.com/page/Books+%26+DVDs%2C+etc.
and Internet resources:
http://tmswiki.wetpaint.com/page/Internet+Resources
If you'd like to contribute to the wiki yourself, you'd be most welcome, and that would be a great way of expanding your knowledge - we can give you some pointers as to where to start researching.
Hilary N |
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jmulcahy
10 Posts |
Posted - 06/17/2010 : 10:00:23
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| Can you please tell me more about Norbekov's method? Thanks! |
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The tricks of my mind
