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JoeyT
USA
25 Posts |
 Posted - 03/02/2009 : 18:08:38
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First let me say I know that no one here is a doctor. But many of you have been though the TMS process and have good advice...Sorry about the length...
Here is my story first with the physical stuff. It all started on April 4 2007 (yes I remember the exact date). I was working out at our gym at my work when I got a small but somewhat sharp pain in the right shoulder..It was not a constant pain but I quit working out in fear of making it worse..I have tried working out several times after the initial "injury" to see if it was better but it would always come back.
Now my first clue that something was fishy with this is that it totally left my right shoulder with in a week and went to the left shoulder and middle back..For the first few months it was not really pain but a pins and needles feeling and it would come and go. I would have weeks were I was prefectly fine...Keep in mind I work in a warehouse were physical labor is the norm but it didn't really bother me at all except for making me wonder what is was and why it bother me so much to work out and lift weights. I had been working out 4 to 5 days a week prior to all this and loved doing it. It was such a stress release and I was getting in good shape...
So about late summer of 07 I thought I should see a doctor to see what the problem was. I thought maybe a pinched nerve but deep down it really didn't make since..Ofcourse he didn't know what was wrong and gave me some anti-inflammatorys...That also did not to anything.
This was around early fall of 07 and even though I didn't have the pain all the time when it would come on it started to feel worse.. So I go back to doctor and he sends me for an MRI of the neck and thorasic spine....Doctor tells me I have a small disc bulge and C6-C7 but no nerves were being touched...(He did not say anything about the thorasic mri)..He said nothing on the mri shows that I should be having the pain I was having. So I pretty much was back to square one...I was happy he had said that and that there was nothing to bad but I still wondered some..
So pretty much from Sept 07 to July 08 I had some pain ever so often. Nothing major, I learned to live with it, I wasn't happy about it because I still felt like something was wrong with me.. I tried working out but it would always bring on more pain...This is always made me wonder how come I can do all this lifting at work and feel pretty much nothing. But I go to the gym and I start another outbreak of more pain...I pretty much told myself at this point that I need to be careful about all my lifting and totally quit the gym..I told myself I have to work for a living, I didn't want to get myself to the point were the pain got to bad to do my job...(This as it turns out is a big point of anxiety for me).
On June 1 I started working 3rd shift... The first night I remember having a bout of pain..I didn't understand why because it faded later..It was the first time I had the pain in several weeks..For the first month physically I was fine. But something happened around the first of July.. The pain in my shoulder came back big time worse than ever and it would not go away..I started have headaches and muscle twitches. The twitching started in my feet but moved all over..
At this point I started to really worry.. I started goggling my symptoms and I thought for sure I had MS.I was a mess... I go back to the doc and get a head mri than I go to a neurologist..I take all my MRI result with me (head,neck and thorasic). She looks at them and tells me my head mri was fine. No MS..But I told her about my shoulder and upper back. She looks at my other MRIs and says " well you do have a bulging disc in your thorasic spine T5-T6..I was like "What my doctor never told me about this" So I call up my GP and he says he doesn't know why he did tell me about it. But it still should not cause the pain I am having..About this time is when my mid back and now my lower back started hurting...I was a mess mentally I did not know what to do..I that I had maybe Fibro but the thought of that made my anxiety shoot up.. My lower back pain spread to my butt and eventully to my right calf and foot...At this point I got a new Thorasic and a Lower back MRI...The Thorasic was unchanged but the lower back showed a 2-3 mm bulge at the L3-4, a 5-6mm herniation that was touching the left nerve root and just glancing the right nerve root and a 3 to 4 mm bulge and L5-S1...Of course my Neurologist tells me I should find another job that is easier on me..(that made my fear and worry so much worse)I lost it I thought this is it I am so screwed I will have to have surgery, lose my job and be in pain all the time...I will never be able to live like I used to...How am I going to pay for back surgery, I wish I could go back in time, My best days are behind me,etc.. I was depressed, I would cry often...I didn,t want to do anything...Since christmas I had some lower back pain but mostly it has be leg and foot pain. I have had a few periods of almost no pain at all...
Within the last few week I have been doing some thinking and I have noticed a few things
1)since my lower back and leg pain has increased.. My shoulder and upper back has almost entirely disappeared.
2)When I am busy at work and moving around and not thinking about pain and herniated discs I don't have pain.. I have caught this several times...
3) My pain is worse on Sunday nights (first night of work week) and is less on the weekends and last night before week end..I had a attach of shoulder pain around labor day that was as worse as any I had and lasted a week. On a friday night when I was working the pain just disappeared almost like a switch..
I have some ideas as to what is going on inside me that is the cause all this...A few months before this all began in 07 I had a brake in at my house that really shook me bad...Only think that was stolen was a DVD player but I was convinced that they were going to come back and get the rest of it since they seen what I have. I sleep on the floor with a knife were they broke in at for about a week..And also the same day my house was broken into my grandfather passed away, I think all that stress at one time may have started something in me..
I also think deep down I don't won't to work the 3rd shift..I miss the interaction with all my 1st shift buddies and I think that had always keep my mind off a lot of things that bother me. Now on 3rd it is just 4 of us and I like the people I work with but it isn't the same.. I have anxiety issues, that is pretty evident reading this along with obsessive thinking issues...I need to try to get to the root of those things. I have read HBP and MBP and will continue to read all I can.. I think the hardest thing right know is the MRI reports.. I wish I never had gotten them...If I could talk to a TMS doctor and get a DX of TMS I think that would be very helpful. I am only 28 and yes I worked out a lot and do a fairly phyiscal job but alot of people do and they don't have these problems..My parents are near 60 and my mom for sure does the same type job as me and yes they have pain but it doesn't consume them like it does me, They still smile and live there life...
My question is does this sound like TMS and is The MRI reports something I should worry about?..I also had a TON of blood work done that all came back fine
Also I have a ? about journaling. What exactly to I write about,stess in my life, things in my childhood that upset me?
Do anyone know of TMS doctors in the Louisville Ky area?
Thank you so much for reading and thank you to those that write back. Again sorry about the length and any misspellings. |
Edited by - JoeyT on 03/04/2009 15:57:54 |
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Bobbypols
Canada
46 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2009 : 21:28:03
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Sounds like TMS to me. You did not indicate you have read any of Sarno's works, have you? If not, have it and start your path to recovery. Just keep working at it. Others will tell you the same as i have, some more lengthy and some less lengthy post. But keep working towards wellness and do not give up. Journalling is not my cup of tea, but meditation is more like it. We dont need to tell you that you have TMS, your experience and dr.'s have done that (in a round-a-bout way).
Puruse what is on the board here. Use the search option for questions about journaling. Personally, i think the key to beating tms is convincing yourself that you are perfectly fine and that the pain means nothing, sometimes journalling is a part of it, physical activity is aswell, but self talk and meditation are key.
Good luck. |
Edited by - Bobbypols on 03/02/2009 21:30:49 |
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JoeyT
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 04:57:38
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| Yes I have read two of Dr Sarnos books and have another one on the way. |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 07:57:32
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I'd re-read the books.
I too used to get pain Sunday nights--knowing I had to be at work on Monday! Funny how the mind works.
I remember Dr. Sarno telling me that no condition would be causing the excruciating pain I was having except TMS. This was as I laid on his office floor unable to sit or walk. My MRI showed a large herniated disc appearing to press on a nerve. But that was not the cause of my pain. My own emotions were the cause of my pain.
Regarding journaling. Dr. Sarno says 1/3 of our stressors are childhood events, 1/3 everyday stressors (work, family, etc.), and 1/3 our personality (perfectionist, people-pleaser, etc.) First thing I notice is I'd be journaling about the burglary. My family had been broken into twice while I was a youngster and it affected me for a VERY long time. It is traumatic and a violation. I still remember the horror when I realized someone could still be in the house. Write about it. Did it make you angry? It did me. HOW DARE SOMEONE COME INTO MY HOME AND TAKE WHAT IS NOT THEIRS!! Sad? Write some more. Afraid. Write uncensored. Whatever comes to your mind. It truly is relieving. So go with your gut--if you think it's bothering you, write about it. I believe journaling is key because it makes us process the feelings/events and gets the feelings out. It is its own self-therapy.
You can heal this!
-Lori
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Edited by - mizlorinj on 03/03/2009 08:00:00 |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 08:47:16
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TMS!
Best,
MK |
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drziggles
USA
292 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 08:52:44
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First off, some of us on this board actually are doctors!
Second, you are clearly a nervous wreck. You know what your problem is, now you just have to work on it. Ignore the damn MRIs! There is practically no such thing as a "normal" MRI. Your story does not make sense for physical causes of pain, and you already know it--now get to work! You also may want to get on some meds for your anxiety, since it can be very difficult to work on this stuff when you are so nervous.
Naturally, you should consult your doctor before making any medical decisions. |
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 13:51:28
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Hi Joey-Welcome,
There's no need to apologize for the length of your post. Most of us have been where you are now. Thankfully, many of us have been able to recover from years of pain and move past obsessive health worries thanks to Dr. Sarno's work.
You said:
"Within the last few week I have been doing some thinking and I have noticed a few things
1)since my lower back and leg pain has increased.. My shoulder and upper back has almost entirely disappeared.
2)When I am busy at work and moving around and not thinking about pain and herniated discs I don't have pain.. I have caught this several times...
3) My pain is worse on Sunday nights (first night of work week) and is less on the weekends and last night before week end..I had a attach of shoulder pain around labor day that was as worse as any I had and lasted a week. On a friday night when I was working the pain just disappeared almost like a switch.."
These things that you have noticed are very important clues that your symptoms are TMS. If you follow the advice in Dr. Sarno's books, they should resolve. It may be gradual or quick but it's important not to get hung up on the timing, as this can cause more tension.
You said:
"I have some ideas as to what is going on inside me that is the cause all this...A few months before this all began in 07 I had a brake in at my house that really shook me bad...Only think that was stolen was a DVD player but I was convinced that they were going to come back and get the rest of it since they seen what I have. I sleep on the floor with a knife were they broke in at for about a week..And also the same day my house was broken into my grandfather passed away, I think all that stress at one time may have started something in me."
These were very difficult experiences for you. How frightening the break in must have been! And the loss of your grandfather is very significant. Added to those things, the change of shift in your job sounds has been something you are not happy about. All these things could certainly have triggered the TMS. Then the worrying about the symptoms causes it to continue.
As far as your MRI, I wouldn't worry at all. I was diagnosed with bulging discs and degenerative disc disease. I had 10 years of upper back and neck pain, spasm, tingling, etc. But guess what? I recovered after reading Dr. Sarno's books and applying the information to my life. My pain was not due to those findings, it was due to TMS. My recovery story is on the success story page of this forum.
Turns out that there are studies in the medical journals that show these supposedly abnormal findings in people with absolutely NO back pain. What that means is that, those things do not cause pain. Dr. Sarno explains this as well in his books.
As far as journaling, it has helped me to write about anything stressful in my life, past or present. Don't censor yourself. Don't worry about how it comes out. It is just a way to give a voice to painful emotions. There is something therapeutic about putting our worries on paper.
As far as a TMS physician--If you visit Kim Ruby's web site tarpityoga.com, there is a full listing of TMS healthcare providers (listed by State).
Good luck. Sounds to me like you're on the right track.
Best,
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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JoeyT
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2009 : 15:26:54
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Thanks you guys so much.
I have in the last week and half have discontinued use of my back brace when I am at work and this week I have slowly started to work out a little in the gym. I am trying ease my shelf back into it slowly. Ofcourse my shoulder pain tried to creep back but it faded. I have began to feel more confidence in my back But my sciatica and leg symptoms have increased conincidently about the same time I stop wearing my back brace...My right calf,foot, leg, feel achy and a little weak when I am pushing down the gas pedal in my car...This stuff doesn't make a whole lot of since...I have questioned a lot my symptoms
long before I even new about TMS. |
Edited by - JoeyT on 03/03/2009 15:27:32 |
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pandamonium
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2009 : 05:40:37
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Hi Joey, welcome to the board.
sounds like you've had exhaustive MRIs and bloodwork and nothing significant can be found. What with that and the pain moving around you sound like a very good candidate for TMS.
The MRI reports don't sound like anything to worry about, re-read HBP esp the bit about disc degeneration and how that relates to a person's age etc. One of my favourite studies which helped convince me that back pain and disc abnormalities just don't add up is this one: http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/331/2/69.
Reading things like this should help reduce your fear which is a very important first step in beating TMS.
I also used to experience pain if I started to think about it, but that didn't explain the times when I was hit by pain seemingly out of the blue. Dr Sarno's explanation of the unconscious emotions really resonated with me and I suspect you are already making good progress there as you have identified the burglary and the loss of a loved one as triggers. Follow mslorinj's advice about journalling, she knows what she's talking about  You can find resources for journalling on the tmswiki.org.
You've done great to stop wearing your support and I hope you start to feel better soon. Once you feel a bit more confident I'd try re-introducing gentle exercise, it's a great way to re-enforce to your mind that you are back in control and not taking this crap anymore!
Good luck |
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New here. Need some advise
