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HellNY
130 Posts |
 Posted - 02/22/2009 : 09:09:58
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My older mother has the same problems I have suffered with. I have told her my own TMS story and how much better I am since I adopted the approach. No meds in 2 years, with less pain than ever before, etc etc.
She seems to sort of be interested in it. But when it comes to crunch time, here's the latest email I get from her:
"I saw the orthopedic surgeon on Monday, he told me that I was worse off than I thought - I have bone spurs & disc degeneration @ C-5 & C-6; disc space degeneration @ L-2 & L-3; dominant disc degeneration and severe herniation @ L-3 & L-4; and narrowing of the nerve canal channel & herniation @ L-4 & L-5. He is stating that I must have L-3 & L-4 fused; and microdiscectomy at L-4 & L-5. He wants to leave C-5 & C-6 for a later date, & take care of the rest in one operation, which will involve a 4-day hospital stay, & I'm not sure of what the recovery procedure is. I am concerned about the fusion aspect of it - whether or not fusion is maybe not a good idea in terms of immobility issues, recovery crap, etc. - it involves bone grafting which takes a long time to take hold (??) Anyway, I feel I should get a second opinion from a neurosurgeon, & just wondered if your surgeon was ortho or neuron?"
Utterly, completely, absorbed into the medical-physical model of the disorder lock stock and barrel.
I didnt even bother trying this time. Its like a brick wall. And this is a woman with such a history of severe emotional distress she's the poster girl of severe TMS.
I literally found myself not caring anymore. Mainly because there is no point. Go have the surgery. Have multiples like I did. And t hen when you have no more surgical options you might think of alternatives. Thats is...if you survive the operatiom, at 67 years old and 100 pounds and poor health.
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Edited by - HellNY on 02/22/2009 09:12:05 |
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marsha
252 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2009 : 10:05:45
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Some people get it and others don't.
Your mother isn't doing this to hurt you or to say that you are wrong, she just doesn't believe that TMS is the cause of her pain.
In Dr. Sarno's book THE DIVIDED MIND there is a chapter by a contributing TMS physician and he says most of his patients do not and cannot accept a TMS diagnosis. He treats them in the traditional way.
I can tell you really love and care about your mother. She needs your support no matter what decision she makes.
By the way 67 is old but not that old.
Marsha |
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HellNY
130 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2009 : 10:44:11
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quote:
Originally posted by marsha
Some people get it and others don't.
Your mother isn't doing this to hurt you or to say that you are wrong, she just doesn't believe that TMS is the cause of her pain.
In Dr. Sarno's book THE DIVIDED MIND there is a chapter by a contributing TMS physician and he says most of his patients do not and cannot accept a TMS diagnosis. He treats them in the traditional way.
I can tell you really love and care about your mother. She needs your support no matter what decision she makes.
By the way 67 is old but not that old.
Marsha
I agree about the 67 years not being that old. Totaly agree. But what I shoudl have said is that she is a 67 year old woman in a 77 year old body. Or later. |
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2009 : 13:52:06
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Sorry to hear about your situation. I understand how difficult is to love people and want so much to help them resolve their pain, yet efforts are futile. You've given her the information and shown by example that it can be done. It's up to her what she does with it.
My Mom who had a history of anxiety and emotional distress was diagnosed with RA and suffered for years until her death a few years ago (at 82). She was very supportive of me when I was in the middle of my medical odyssey, which meant a lot to me. She was pleased when I was able to recover after finding Dr. Sarno's books. She listened to me politely when I described his theory, but unfortunately, she didn't think it could help her. I know RA is more severe that TMS, but I believe she started out with TMS.
Even when I shared with her another book I had come across that I hoped would help her, she wasn't able to be open to the mind body connection. The book was written by a man named Norman Cousins, who had recovered from RA by using laughter therapy and high doses of Vitamin C.
I also have two siblings who are out of work on disability due to what I believe to be psychosomatic health issues. I have told them about the information, lent them books and videos, all to no avail. They either can't or won't go there.
I have had to come to peace with the fact that I can't fix everyone. But it's difficult especially when they are people you care about. I guess it's also enraging in that our opinion doesn't seem to matter!
Best,
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2009 : 10:19:19
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Hold on a tic, though:
quote:
She seems to sort of be interested in it.
quote:
"I am concerned about the fusion aspect of it - whether or not fusion is maybe not a good idea in terms of immobility issues, recovery crap, etc. - it involves bone grafting which takes a long time to take hold (??) Anyway, I feel I should get a second opinion"
Sounds like she's not so keen on the surgery?
Couldn't you refer her to a TMS doc who is a neurologist? Which part of the country is she? There's one in CT:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/directory.html
Scan on "neuro".
Hilary N |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2009 : 11:14:00
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quote:
Originally posted by HellNY
I didnt even bother trying this time. Its like a brick wall. And this is a woman with such a history of severe emotional distress she's the poster girl of severe TMS.
I literally found myself not caring anymore. Mainly because there is no point.
Wow! These sentences really stood out to me, HellNY. During my TMS recovery, letting go of feeling responsible for other people's feelings/actions was a HUGE part of my problem and reason for my recovery. I'm so sorry your mom is suffering, but you are right to let go of this and to not to feel like it's your fault OR your responsibility. Try to focus on the feelings of love and caring you have for her, and try not to judge her for not taking your path. Another thing I noticed with people who didn't believe in my TMS, I also felt like they didn't believe me about other things, like I had very little credibility with them ... esp. my Dad. He never seems to hear what I say, or has much concern for how I feel. (Just thought I'd share this, in case you find any truth in this b/t you and your mom.)
My DH doesn't believe in TMS theory, and he watched me transition from bedridden to mentally undone, to healthy, and he insists when he has pain his is "real". Drives me crazy, but it's his choice. I think for some people the pain serves a greater purpose or validates their existence somehow more so than processing the harmful emotions.
Hang in there and keep loving your mom ... AND yourself.
>|< Penny
"Feeling will get you closer to the truth of who you are than thinking."
~ Eckhart Tolle
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Edited by - Penny on 02/23/2009 11:19:17 |
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hottm8oh
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2009 : 11:53:13
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It's hard to watch someone suffer when you know they can be helped by other means. I have friends who won't accept TMS, and they keep having surgeries, keep going to physical therapy, and keep laying in bed for days with fibro pain.
I believe now that my mother had TMS. She always had raging emotional problems and these strange unexplainable illnesses and severe "allergies". She enjoyed the attention and the license to complain about her health. |
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Northerner
62 Posts |
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Oh the horror. No chance for this case
