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DiskPain
25 Posts |
 Posted - 12/23/2004 : 05:35:14
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| Last night I went out with my wife's faculty to a bar restaurant. My back had been burning on and off all day. When I got to the restaurant, my back started that anxious burning sensation. It was so intense. I really enjoy my wife's friends and have absolutely no reason to have been upset last night. I do know that the weekend coming up is rough with the holidays. I know there are some things we are not looking forward to so maybe that was it. I am worried that it will be hard to break the cycle of this pain because I have anxiety over my horrible spasms returning which in turn generates more pain. I don't even think about any past injury anymore, but worry so much about the severity of my pain. How do I break free of this fear. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 09:06:56
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quote:
I know there are some things we are not looking forward to so maybe that was it.
I don't know about you personally,but I had to fight for years to ban all of the extended Family from coming over on Xmas....I know,I know I'm a jerk.....but...
Everytime the In-laws are aound,I would get Parenting tips,interrogated as to my current work status,success or failure in the music Biz,and inevitably.....drum roll....
the speech about Religion....yes,my righteous southern Baptist cigarette choking,Beer guzzling,spouse cheating,4th marriage in-laws would give me the mandatory membership drive pitch.
"You really need to go to church......"
I love a drunken evangelist.
So...after years of lobbying for an "Immediate family ONLY" xmas policy,My wife relented and.....drum roll...we've had wonderful xmas' for the past 5 years 
As far as the fear,remember: Fear is a coward...challenge it to a fight...it won't show up.It's a bunch of smoke and mirrors.
You're doing well,but one thing to remember...TMS is a dynamic process....sometimes you might have NO repressed rage or anger and be having a great time and still get a symptom.
It could be something as simple as: you went to that restaurant once when you were in a lot of pain : The last time your wife wore that dress you were in a lot of pain : the last time you started having a good time you were in a lot of pain.
For the depth and complexity of our psychological process',conditioning is amazingly shallow...it can be triggered by the oddest of things.
Baseball65 |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 09:36:44
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Conditioning is so simple yet so subtley complex. Maybe it was something as "simple" as a smell in the restaraunt which brought up a memory of either earlier pain or earlier anger.
Maybe you are like me DP, where social situations in general are anxiety provoking. I'm having a party tonight and just "stopped in" here before I went out to do the shopping etc. If I wasn't wise to my TMS, I'd probably be in a lot of pain right now because inside my head I am FREAKING out about how I need to look perfect, the house needs to look perfect etc. Besides checking in here to remind myself of TMS and its wily ways, I also sat down this morning and journaled about all of my fear/anger/anxiety. I hope this way, to have a good time tonight.
It sounds like you are on a good roll with the journaling, you might try sitting down and writing about what may have been going on in your mind at the restaraunt, about the upcoming stuff you might be worried about. I am so glad to see you are making progress. |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 10:05:37
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I'm having a really rough day myself. I've been screaming at my brain, forcing myself to not limp, but the pain is almost making me pass out. Yes, I've been doubting recently. Why? Because I realized it's not shifting to other places. It's always in the same place. My hip feels like it's broken and honest to God, I start to walk and get faint from the pain. What have I done?? Yes, I ran twice this past weekend, then took Monday off. Did a walking, hilly workout on Tuesday on the treadmill. Took Wednesday off. Ran only 2 miles this morning on the treadmill and now am seeing stars in front of my eyes. Stress? Yes, but not so much to cause THIS!!
I believe in TMS and the awful things it does, but when the pain gets THIS BAD, give me something to latch onto, because right now I'm in tears!!!  |
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 11:01:04
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Michele, I'd have a rest, if I were you - maybe give the running a miss for now - others would probably say that's the wrong thing to do, but I feel that sometimes we need to give in and be downright lazy. I'd take some strong painkillers as well and be very, very good to myself. How you feel right now, rang a bell with me - two years ago, at this time, I was in pain such as you describe. After the family left - I'd done the usual huge lunch etc. etc, I spent the rest of Christmas Day lying on a hard floor in agony convinced that this was how life was going to be for me. Two year on and things are very different - it sounds to me as if you might be fighting too hard, Michele. it took quite a long time before I stopped having severe attacks of back pain, but they did stop - years of conditioning needed quite a while to reverse.
This time of year is extraordinarily stressful! Everything seems to be designed to make us feel awful. I went food shopping this morning, every single adult in the store looked completely miserable.
I have this theory that the mass stress all around at this time is contagious.
Something else that rang a bell, DiskPain - when my TMS was at its worst - even pleasureable events could cause an attack to start - anticipation of something I had been looking forward to often brought on back pain. Weird, I know, but it definately used to happen to me. The whole stress/pain/ fear excalation would begin.
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polly
127 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 12:58:07
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Michelle,
I agree with Anne. Before the holiday closes the opportunity, get the doctor to prescribe something for you and make a hot cup of tea and try to relax. Nobody should be in that kind of pain. Sarno prescribes meds for that reason.
TMS is cagey. You have to be cagier. It clings and lurks sometimes. I'm battling it and probably always will. I keep 3 things in mind,
I can't get hurt doing this
I can beat it
I don't want this pain anymore
Hope you have a happy and painless holiday,
Polly |
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holly
USA
243 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 13:32:00
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I wan't ALL of us to just relax! Take a deep breath and give yourselves a break. Holidays ARE suppose to be fun! I myself look forward to them. There is nothing like being with friends and family. We all have family problems here and there, but on the whole the "mother" in me wants all my "children" on this board to have a good time regardless what is going on with in our bodies. Just remember it could be alot worse. We should be glad it is just TMS and not Cancer! Now everyone go have a drink and take a holiday break!  |
Edited by - holly on 12/23/2004 13:33:30 |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 13:59:29
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Didn't mean to steal your post DP. But thanks everyone, I intend to relax as soon as I leave work today! I'm on vacation until next year, so that should give me plenty of time to de-stress, do some journaling, and take stock for next year. I only just learned about TMS in early August, so I have a ways to go. I WILL beat it, and I just have to remember there are good and bad days.
Have a Merry Christmas! |
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Rough Night
