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awe
2 Posts |
 Posted - 12/22/2008 : 14:12:32
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Hi everyone,
this is my first post, so please bear with me. I'm sorry it's got so long, but it feels great to finally find people in a similar situation. I've been suffering from RSI for almost two years. This year, it got considerably worse; not only did my hands and arms hurt constantly, my whole neck and upper back were in constant pain, too. I went to a lot of doctors, none of which could really help (sound familiar?). I think I had about five different diagnoses, from tendosynovitis to tennis arm, karpaltunnel and what have you. I tried medication, massage, physical therapy, etc., none of which helped for a long time. Every time I thought I had reached rock bottom it would get worse. Once, I had such a painful pain attack in my back that I slumped unconsciously to the floor when I tried to stand up. Despite this incident, however, the amount of pain was considerable, but manageable.
About a month ago, a friend of mine lent me a copy of Sarno's book. I had stumbled across his theory earlier, but dismissed it as stupid. And even this time I didn't make sense at first. I even remember that I got mad at my friend because I felt like she suggested there might be something wrong with me mentally. After all, my pain was physical, and I didn't feel like I had any emotional issues (despite RSI, that is). But I still started reading the book.
I remained sceptical, but after a while I googled and found Rachel's website (thank god for that!). Suddenly, I thought "let's give it a try". I sat down and started typing. Funnily enough, it didn't hurt (usually, it started after a couple of seconds). I typed some more, and more. Still nothing. A couple of minutes later, I felt how the cramped muscles in my neck started to loosen. I was absolutely ecstatic. That day, I sat for about two hours in front of my computer without any pain at all. That really was a wonder. I had finally accepted the diagnosis TMS. It suddenly all made sense: the moving and shifting pain, the constant brooding about it, the fact that nothing physical seemed to help... God, was I happy. Since then, I am absoutely convinced that I have TMS and nothing else.
The next couple of days and weeks, the happiness remained and the weight was lifted. I did a lot of computer work without pain in my hands. I could even use the mouse for a couple of minutes without pain! I still had a bit of pain in my neck and back, but I didn't really care. Life was great again and I felt like I had conquered RSI. Still, something in the back of my head kept telling me that the pain was gone, but that I hadn't resolved my subconscious issues, which apparently caused the pain. But heck, what did I care, I was painfree!
A week ago, however, the pain resurfaced. Not nearly as bad as it used to be, but it's still there. It's like there always is a constant amount of pain: as soon as my hands are better, the neck is worse, as soon as that's better, the back hurts. Again, it is still a whole lot better than it was, but well, it's not as good as it used to be. And what's even worse: the fear is coming back. I feel that the little hope, confidence and positive thinking I built up in the last couple of weeks are slowly starting to fade. I'm afraid I'm going back to square one. I am still absolutely conviced that I suffer from TMS, but I don't know where to go from here. I know that healing can take quite a while, and from what I read a lot of people got better/healed simply by pushing through the pain and ignoring it. Pushing I can do, and it works quite well (after all, I'm typing right now and the pain in my hands has not got worse). But ignoring, I can't. I can't help but think about the pain for the better part of the day. As soon as it gets worse I worry more. But I also notice that in the few hours in which I don't worry I feel a whole lot better.
Since ignoring alone might not do the trick, I am thinking hard about any emotional issues that I might have. And here's the problem: I'm somebody who worries constantly about things, and I'm rather hard on myself. There a millions of little problems, worries, fears and insecurities, but the point is that they are really small and probably not different from anybody else's. Also, if I understand the theory of TMS correctly, it's not the things we know about that worry us, but the things our brain tries to hide from us. And really, I can't find anything. Besides TMS, I live a good life despite all my worries. I don't have this big dark secret that my brain is trying to hide. Instead, I'm obsessing now if any of the countless little things might be responsible for my TMS. But I don't know.
So, any ideas? I'm thinking about trying visualization and/or affirmation. In the meanwhile, I'll try to stay positive and think about a great future ;)
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rubymineroad
3 Posts |
Posted - 12/22/2008 : 15:24:31
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| awe, I had RSI and back pains. I stumbled on Dr. Sarno, but thought he was probably a quack. But I read his book several months later and got his DVD. Went to Rachel's site and a few others. And a aha moment happened. My pain disappeared. I knew that follow up would help. I got Dr. Scott Brady's excellent book, Pain Free for Life. His 6 week program is a gem. A wise investment with little cost and 30 minutes a day for 6 weeks. I believe the depth-journaling is a must. It has made all the difference. David |
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awe
2 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2008 : 15:38:54
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quote:
Originally posted by rubymineroad
awe, I had RSI and back pains. I stumbled on Dr. Sarno, but thought he was probably a quack. But I read his book several months later and got his DVD. Went to Rachel's site and a few others. And a aha moment happened. My pain disappeared. I knew that follow up would help. I got Dr. Scott Brady's excellent book, Pain Free for Life. His 6 week program is a gem. A wise investment with little cost and 30 minutes a day for 6 weeks. I believe the depth-journaling is a must. It has made all the difference. David
Thank you for your answer, rubymineroad. It's great to hear you recovered. I believe my aha moment has already happened, but I don't really know where to go from there. From what I've read, a lot of people keep a journal. I have yet to start the digging process (all of my progress so far came from simply accepting the diagnosis and ingoring the pain), but quite frankly, I don't know how. I'm a bit scared, too, and to be honest, I hoped I could avoid it. But it seems this is something I have to face. But, how do you start? Writing down a list of everything that's bothering you? Trying to put in words what you are feeling at the moment? I just don't know, and I'd appreciate any input.
Geez, who knew I would require handholding one day in writing a journal? 
Alex |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2008 : 08:55:45
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Alex, your ideas about jouranaling are the way to go. Yes, write down a few things that bother you. Then choose one and go into some depth about it. You must get to how you FEEL about it: I am angry that . . . or sad. . . or afraid, etc. If you start writing (yes, it can be scary at first) the pen will just keep going as you start to spew.
Dr. Sarno says explore these 3 things: childhood (it came to me yesterday that I need to express myself (write) about a girl who bullied me in 5th grade), personality (perfectionism, people-pleaser, etc--explore WHY), and everyday stressors (work, family, holidays?).
As you express things that are on the surface, things can come up from further down. It's happened to me. Stuff I had totally forgotten about came back to me and I was able to journal about it in depth and feel relief.
I do believe for permanent relief of tms symptoms, journaling is a must. And as of late I've heard many self-help and other people talk about the benefits of journaling. I can attest the results are worth the time spent!
If you want some suggestions about any personal situations you may have, feel free to email me.
Best wishes, 
Lori |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 12/24/2008 : 09:25:49
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I think it is important to first obtain complete knowledge and belief in the TMS process. If you are not fully grounded in that to start, the rest of the work will not help no matter how much journaling you do, etc. For me, the psychological and emotional introspection, though often helpful, were always of secondary value in ridding myself of symptoms. I don't think its necessary to always know what the exact emotional cause is, but rather you need to fully believe that the origin of the pain is psychosomatic. Once you believe that wholeheartedly, your brain/mind simply gives up. Read all the books. Learn the medicine relating to your diagnosis. Get an MRI. Do whatever it takes to convince yourself without a shadow of a doubt that your pain has no other plausible etiology. You need to educate yourself. Knowledge really is the penicillin. Once you prove to yourself that it has to be your mind at work, that there is no consistent organic explanation, the fear disappears and the symptoms vanish along with it. Skipping ahead to the psychotherapeutic digging without first establishing this critical foundation is a mistake and a hindrance I see around here all too often. Good luck!
Best,
MK |
Edited by - mk6283 on 12/24/2008 09:34:25 |
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Slow progress?
