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DiskPain
25 Posts |
 Posted - 12/22/2004 : 11:13:02
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| I have been journaling a couple days now. I do enjoy writing down what bothers me. It helps. It is weird, because I am finally able to repudiate the injury and am now telling myself that I have TMS. It is strange because when you work and think and read this over and over, you forget about the injury. I see my pain come and go so frequently and with such precision, I can't imagine it being due to an injury. So weird! I am really starting to get the hang of this. It is sometimes hard to really figure out what specifically is bothering me at a given time. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/22/2004 : 14:20:16
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Hi D-P (I'm not going to use your name anymore...the "nocebo")
I've written reems of journal/inventory of anger and fear type paperwork and I STILL don't know what's bothering me at any specific time..I can break all of them down to some fundamentals like:
Angry at my Boss/ he's an arrogant self promoting mediocre illiterate piece of Sh%t/causes anxiety because I have to pretend I don't think he's an Idiot to keep my job and get paid/effects my self esteem that I am a minion of a person less qualified than myself/affects my finances...if I don't bring home money,my Family will suffer and I'll fight with the wife and we might break-up/than I'd be alone and nobody will love me
so after following the paper trail the real underlying fear is being alone,or the unknown .Almost every one of our fears/angers is rooted in one of the two.However if I went to work and said "Please don't talk to me like that ,because it triggers a psychological chain reaction whereby I'll feel alone and be left in dread of the unknown"...I'd keep my job about another 5 minutes.
It's a lot easier to say "I don't feel really well today...my head aches and my throat hurts...I think I'll have to cut out early"
Also,we as humans are really petty little creatures and though we can be philosohically comforted by lengthy explanations,when we're right there in the moment the Natural reaction is "I hope your not talking to ME A-hole"
So,when writing the Journals it IS hard to determine what is bugging us at any specific time,and perhaps we're so dynamic we'll never know exactly....it's just important to slowly gain the awareness that all the stressful things ,positive and negative in our lives aren't just rolling by us....we're slowly building up tension and anxiety....when we become aware of the process,not the individual instances,all the pain/symptoms will cease.
you're really flying thru this stuff arent you?
Baseball65 |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 12/22/2004 14:22:50 |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 12/23/2004 : 00:23:36
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Also,we as humans are really petty little creatures and though we can be philosohically comforted by lengthy explanations,when we're right there in the moment the Natural reaction is "I hope your not talking to ME A-hole/"
Thank you Baseball65, you made me laugh out loud. So funny and so true. |
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Journaling and what?
