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tcherie
72 Posts |
 Posted - 12/06/2008 : 10:48:41
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Hello all,
I am a newbie. I must say that I am intrigued by this forum because it seems to be based on positivity, as well as discussing the theory. I am 90% convinced that I have TMS. The other 10% that I am lacking I know is to my not completely understanding the theory.
I have been told by others since I was a child that I was a perfectionist. I am competitive, and an overachiever. I still think back to past events that I could of done better. My failures haunt me. I know my pain is not as severe as many individuals on this board, but due to an unexplained decline in my health during a stressful period, and my search for a cure to get my perfect health back, I developed hypochondria. When I finally got peace with my health changes and started to feel better again, I started having some issues with my back and neck. Ironically, I was involved with alternative medicine and seeing a chiropractor (even though I did not have back issues at this time). The chiropractic care was just part of overall body health and treatment. After one particular adjustment, which I felt was kind of aggressive, I started having discomfort in my back. So I went to another chiropractor because I figured he messed something up in my back. He adjusted my neck. I started having discomfort in my neck. The funny thing is when I asked both of them is it normal to feel discomfort weeks after an adjustment, they both said no. Now here it is two months later, and the pain moves around. Sometimes its my shoulders, my arm, my neck, my mid-back, my upper back. Burning, achy feeling. I have full movement with no pain. I have went to doctors who told me it was muscle strain or a pinched nerve. Its been two months!!! Shouldn't these heal by now? I remember telling one of my doctors that interestingly enough, my back discomfort started when my other health concerns no longer bothered me. That is why I believe i have TMS, besides the fact that I am very tense and stressed.
I need resolution of these symptoms. Hence my questions.
I have read HBP, and am reading MBP. I have ordered the MBP video. I considered going to a psychiatrist, but my boyfriend does not believe in it, so I do not want to put any further strain on our relationship if there is another way.
For those of you who have seen improvement without a psychiatrist is the theory of TMS that I have to resolve these awful emotional issues that I am drudging up, or just acknowledge them?
I have read it in some posts the need to carry on with life. My life has felt like its been in pause since I have been dealing with health concerns. To get better, am I just to act or pretend as if these concerns do not affect me, and live my life as if I feel great until I really do? Is that what it is all about?
Isn't that a form of repression? I am repressing how I feel about my health, how it angers me, and how I feel it affects my life.
Thanks in advance for your time and consideration. |
Edited by - tcherie on 12/06/2008 13:09:53 |
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 12/06/2008 : 14:09:59
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Welcome tcherie,
You're 90% convinced? That's quite a bit. From your description, it sounds like you're on the right track. Recovery doesn't necessarily happen all at once. Many of us have had gradual resolution of our symptoms. Sometimes when one pain resolves another one takes it's place. Dr. Sarno calls that the symptom imperative. It's not unusual. Keep at it and they will resolve too.
I found that watching the video helped me to absorb the particulars of the theory. You don't necessarily need to see a psychiatrist. Although if that is what you need to do to heal, shouldn't your boyfriend supporting you?
Try journalling at length about your stresses, feelings, hurts, fears, anger, sadness, etc Allow yourself to feel the feelings as well as writing about them. Cry if you need to, rage if you need to (privately might be best), beat some pillows, scream if you feel like it, I know it sounds strange, but it helps to express them.
Return to your daily activities and make sure to include pleasurable activities. Sr. Sarno mentions this in the rage soothe ratio.
Whenever you have symptoms, think psychological instead of physical. Meaning, think about what is going on in your life that might be causing your symptoms.
Re-read sections of the book each day, but don't overdo the tms work. Take care of yourself and try to have some fun.
Celebrate the small victories, such as a reduction in symptoms.
Good luck
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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tcherie
72 Posts |
Posted - 12/06/2008 : 16:52:43
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Thanks Peg,
Its going to take some time, but it is better to know that the symtoms are psychological as opposed to physical. Its not going to be easy to change how I think, but I think I will be a much better person as a result of it.
As for my boyfriend, he's been through depression before and just fought through it until he got over it. He says he doesn't believe in doctors in that way. I feel like if I pursued it, he would accept my need to go. I guess I want to try to make it a last resort.
Any further thoughts from other members are welcome and appreciated. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2008 : 03:42:57
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your boyfriend doesn't believe in psychotherapy? i could not date someone like that. yeesh
you sound like the rest of us. you feel like you aren't good enough and you're in a constant state of trying to prove yourself to the world. you grew up in a love vacuum. it's okay, join the club.
good call going the tms route. it's the only way to end it for good. any questions, feel free to e-mail me. my inbox has been a little empty lately.
---
author of tms-recovery . com
(not sh!t, champagne)
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Effie
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2008 : 05:20:52
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I'm one of those who was lucky enough to have relief from my pain just from reading the book. I had been in pain for almost two years before I started "doubting" that there was a medical reason for the pain, and once I did Dr. Schechter's online questionnaire I was absolutely 100% convinced I had TMS.
The pain you are experiencing sounds very similar to mine, and I was also seeing a chiropractor & massage therapist regularly. The pain didn't start to resolve until I STOPPED the chiropractic and massage treatments. I think they had a great deal to do with continuing the pain cycle -- not just physically, but the fact that the therapists always wanted a detailed description of ANY and ALL pains, even minor ones, that I had experienced since the last time I had seen them. I've since learned that giving the pain too much importance exacerbates it greatly, so I try not to catalog them all the time in my mind anymore. Last week I saw a naturopath whom I haven't seen since I discovered TMS, he wanted to know how my pain was doing, and just explaining to him what I've discovered, even though he knew about TMS and thought it was great that I'm no longer in pain, caused all my pains to return that evening. I was scared for about a minute, but then I realized that just seeing one of the physicians I had seen while in pain, and discussing the pain, was bringing those pains back! So I told myself not to worry about them, I knew why they were returning, and then I ignored them. Next day I was fine again, but I'm convinced that if he had not believed in TMS and I had succumbed to the fear again, the pain would be getting worse and I'd be reliving the whole cycle over again.
My husband is one of those guys who doesn't believe in stuff like this either, but he is nice enough to give my back a massage when I feel it starting to tense up, and I've found that his massages relax my back without causing me further pain. I think he does believe in TMS now that he's seen the results, though.
I've found journalling very helpful -- just write your emotional issues down and get them out of your mind. It really does help. I journalled for many years on the advice of a psychiatrist -- I put all my childhood issues on a cd and keep it there for if I ever need it, instead of in the back of my mind where it can hurt me.
Sorry to talk so much about myself, I like how the other forum members responded to your questions better, but I just thought my story might help.
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2008 : 10:32:55
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Effie---I don't think you need to apologize for speaking of you own experience. I think we learn a great deal from each other while sharing our personal experiences with tms.
While we share a common struggle with tms, our approaches and successes have unique features which benefit all of us to share. I appreciate your input.
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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tcherie
72 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2008 : 12:36:54
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Scottmurray, your statement about not being able to date someone like that made me laugh. I do not know if that is what you intended, but like Effie said he's supportive in his own way. While trying to explain to him about TMS, he said that he's also a perfectionist. That I do believe. I have been with him a long time, and we are now getting to the point where we are planning on getting married. Can two perfectionists make it? I always wonder will I be a good enough wife, will I live up to his standard? Will I live up to my standard? I guess these are thoughts I should put in my journal.
This leads me to my next question, which if not answered here I may start another topic.
Please excuse the question if it sounds ignorant because I am still trying to learn.
Some people have said that they feel better without journaling or just by knowing the pain is mentally derived. My thoughts above does cause me stress when I think about it. I do not see how that is based on repressed emotion, necessarily. Could recovering from TMS also be based on just a change in attitude? Recognizing that its how you view a situation that causes tension, and as a result pain.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
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Effie
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - 12/07/2008 : 14:10:26
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Tcherie, that's a very good question. I think the answer is "yes", recovering from TMS can be based on "just a change in attitude, and recognizing that it's how you view a situation that causes tension, and as a result pain."
There's a really good video by Dr. Schubiner here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldyI7mJG2EA where he explains how just knowing about TMS can help you recognize what is causing your pain and help you recover from it. He also explains the part that repressed emotions play in TMS. I love this video and watch it whenever I need a little positive reinforcement. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 12/08/2008 : 09:00:56
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quote:
I always wonder will I be a good enough wife, will I live up to his standard? Will I live up to my standard? I guess these are thoughts I should put in my journal.
tcherie, I haven't been posting or reading much around here lately, but these words really caught my eye. When I started healing from TMS, I was in a relationship with my now ex-boyfriend. He was actually very supportive (certainly he was thrilled that I was healthy again) but later on after I had gotten some therapy and started really talking with him about what was going on in our relationship (or trying anyway), he was resistant to discussing things and eventually it came out that we were both walking on eggshells around each other all the time because both of us were always worried that the other would reject us for imperfection. This was long after I had physically healed. Eventually the relationship failed because we couldn't get to a compatible place on discussing issues.
The feeling of being chronically inadequate comes from inside you, but it can be exacerbated by some relationship dynamics. I would really watch out for what's going on in your relationship regarding this and other emotional dynamics. Experience tells me that two perfectionists may need some help having a successful relationship. It would worry me that your boyfriend is generally opposed to outside help for psychological concerns, because it can be very useful in examining and resolving relationship issues.
Whatever your exeperience with the later parts of the journey emotionally, you likely can get over TMS by reading and doing some journaling. Including on the thoughts you mentioned. :)
--
What were you expecting? |
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tcherie
72 Posts |
Posted - 12/08/2008 : 10:22:06
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To all who responded,
Thanks for your words. I always felt confident in life, until the past two years. I even felt the way he did about seeking that type of therapy. My confidence changed when my health started changing. I felt like I could no longer live up to the image that I had of myself or I felt that people had of me that I had created. I looked so forward to marriage and being a good wife.
But when I started feeling bad and not knowing why, my confidence was shattered. Now I ask people for help, instead of giving it. My feelings about marriage and my relationship with him, I know is really due to a feeling of inadequacy because I no longer feel perfect. I feel like he may also see me as inadequate.
You see, I know that I am creating my further physical pain because of my stress of dealing with a long term health concern and how I PERCEIVE,it affecting our relationship.
I just want my life back. When I look back at all the things that I used to do, I intimidate myself (does that make sense). The problem is how I view myself, I do feel like if the TMS went away I would just jump right back into life, or is it serving its purpose of distracting me, because for a long time I just wanted an excuse to slow down. But I wanted that to my CONSCIOUS decision, not my body or subconscious making the decision for me. |
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To be free of TMS is resolution needed
