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positivevibes
204 Posts |
 Posted - 10/16/2008 : 19:44:38
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As I've mentioned in other threads, I've been thinking a lot about my inner child lately. And I came to a few interesting and newfound conclusions:
1. I was a very lonely child from a very young age and often felt sad because I felt that I had no friends (which was true...it had to do with the bad neighborhood I lived in -- I had no playmates for many years).
2. Because I lived in an unsafe neighborhood, I did not feel that my parents were protecting me. I constantly felt threatened, and the threat was real.
3. My parents let my older brother (8 years older) verbally abuse me for many years, which was another way I felt they did not properly protect me.
4. I am extremely angry because as a child, I did not have the same opportunities that I COULD've had if my parents weren't so scared to take risks. They put their fears above my health and wellbeing. As a parent now myself, I couldn't imagine doing that to my own children.
So I'm trying to connect with the little girl inside of me....the one who is scared, lonely, sad, and angry. And also the little girl who was there before that...the one who was too young to realize that her situation wasn't good -- the really small child who was happy just to see the sun streaming through the window first thing in the morning, or get a delicious warm bottle of milk (yes I do remember that!) The one who felt cozy and protected and one with the world... |
Edited by - positivevibes on 10/16/2008 19:46:46 |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2008 : 11:51:38
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Wow, great post about the inner child. Thanks for sharing about being a parent yourself.
I am amazed at how those hurts as a child have echoes in my adult life today. I am grateful for this self-awareness, though. When I think of the past hurts, it is often with relief or gratitude for now I know that I can take care of those needs and care for myself.
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 10/17/2008 : 12:20:32
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Thanks for sharing. Looking back my childhood wasn't the greatest either.
1.We moved alot due to my Dads work, and I was always the new
girl, and people stared at you-hated it. Never felt secure
or rooted.
2.Dad also gone a lot for work. Mom mostly raised us.
3. Mom was a worry wart.
I realize they did the best they could tho. They had rough lives themselves. Now I know why I worry and feel insecure. |
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Interesting self-realizations yesterday
