| Author |
 Topic  |
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
 Posted - 09/23/2008 : 11:43:13
|
Thanks winniepoo,
Your response here is very comforting. You know I can really relate to your problems. Recently, through journaling, I have discovered that I also need this complete control. I am the oldest child of my family and I need total control over my siblings. Going away to college definately took some of this control as they are slowly growing closer without me. When I go home and see this, it doesn't feel good. I'm now realizing it's things like this that are making these symptoms. I also need this same kind of control over friends, I need to be the leader of the group, the coolest one and the most liked one. I also have recently realized that I'm not perfect. We can all say, "i'm not perfect" but deep down inside we think we are. I thought I was because I thought tyhat without this symptom I could do this and that, and the only thing holding me back was the symptom. This is how my brain kept me from realizing the truth. I think this is a big, important step for anyone with TMS. We aren't any better with or without the symptom...we are who we are, and that certainly isn't perfect, or isn't the best. It's important to realize that life won't be this amazing place when the symptom goes away. There will still be problems, I'll still feel like ****...alot, and when these things are genuinly realized the symptoms can go away. Because it's departure doesn't have to live up to more expectations. |
 |
|
|
Pd245
58 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2008 : 13:06:42
|
| I can so relate to the dream that there's some "better" you that is waiting to be born, "if only..." When I was a kid I read a lot and dreamed and a lot and imagined some amazing future as an adult where I would have arrived to permanent happiness. I did this through my 20's and 30's, too, I either procrastinated doing things I wanted to do or had issues that prevented me from living to my potential - which would be amazing, of course. Wow! That's a lot of pressure. So, I'm almost 40 now and have finally realized that life isn't like the movies or books - you don't become anything permanently. Happiness and sadness and joy and irritation - all of it comes and goes. You're never going to be happily ever after filled with joy every day when you finally become an adult ( I'm a little late getting there). It's a deeply sad thing to realize, and it's something I'm definitely grieving about while doing my TMS work. A part of me knew this all along, though, and I didn't want to ever admit it, so the pain and procrastination and constant dreaming held it at bay. But when you're nearing 40 or 50 you realize you're "there," you're an adult, there's no pretending anymore, and you don't have lots of time to do the things you want to do, or the things you think you've wanted to do. |
|
|
|
Shamrock
26 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2008 : 13:10:08
|
I'll chime in.
I'm in my 4th week on dedicated Sarno work. I'm trying not to "watch the clock" but it's tough. It's also hard because I sometimes assume I'll be one of the ones who needs therapy. (I've done my share.) Gotta focus on the "now."
Earlier I reviewed my journals from the past 3 years. 2005 was when the back pain first hit and stuck for like 1-1/2 years. It's interesting that I had pain 4 months before that, and when I heard it was "just a muscle pull" the pain was gone within 2 weeks. As soon as my fear faded, so did the pain.
The prolonged pain came after my MRI "bulging disc" diagnosis and failed physical therapy, steroid injections, etc. In my journal back then, I wrote, "this may be TMS" after reading Sarno. I didn't approach the treatment seriously, tough.
Interestingly, I also had 2 episodes of back pain earlier this year, both around emotional incidents, and both resolved within 2 weeks. I think it was more acute emotional incidents which I got past quickly, hence the quick pain resolution. I just put the pain out of my mind. didn't even consider TMS at the time.
This time I still have the pain after 2 months. The emotional stuff I've been going through now is more related to core issues (fear of abandonment, perfectionism, etc.) from multiple sources (job and failed personal relationship.) My uncomscious doesn't want to give up the pain... YET!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to focus on the cause (emotional) and give yourself the time you need to recover. And don't underestimate the power of just telling the pain, "whatever!"
In the spirit recovery programs, I'll throw out some catch phrase that have helped me with other stuff in the past (sorry for any 12-step hijacking)...
Time takes time. (Sounds like a duh statement, but people forget it often.)
Change your entire view of FEAR. Go from F@#$ Everything And Run to Face Everything And Recover.
|
|
|
|
winnieboo
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2008 : 13:35:28
|
| Abadonment and loss are big issues for all of us I think, TMS or not. |
Edited by - winnieboo on 09/23/2008 13:38:47 |
|
|
|
Effie
USA
46 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2008 : 14:57:20
|
quote:
Originally posted by Pd245
When I was a kid I read a lot and dreamed and a lot and imagined some amazing future as an adult where I would have arrived to permanent happiness. I did this through my 20's and 30's, too . . . So, I'm almost 40 now and have finally realized that life isn't like the movies or books -- But when you're nearing 40 or 50 you realize you're "there," . . . there's no pretending anymore, and you don't have lots of time to do the things you want to do, or the things you think you've wanted to do.
pd245 -- that is EXACTLY what I've felt . . . you said it so well . . . I believe that, plus turning 50, was one of my biggest TMS triggers. |
Edited by - Effie on 09/23/2008 15:01:12 |
|
|
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 09/23/2008 : 20:25:48
|
| Even though I'm only 19 I can relate to this always dreaming for better. Dreaming of the day when I would be happy and peaceful, the day when everything would always go my way, and living life would be like a movie. I remember when I was young I looked forward to college being this way, and TMS really hit me when I got to college because these great things just weren't happening. I really appreciate you guys sharing your thoughts on this subject, I can learn a lot from all of you. The more we can realize that this "perfect life" will never come, the more ahppy we can be. |
|
|
|
LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 09/24/2008 : 14:43:55
|
johnaccardi-"The more we can realize that this "perfect life" will never come, the more ahppy we can be"
That is very true, your young to be realizing that. Seems to me there are quite a few young people on here. I believe happiness is
a choice you make, not something that happens to you, life is full of ups and downs, good times and bad times come and go.
|
|
|
|
crk
124 Posts |
Posted - 09/24/2008 : 19:58:18
|
| I just posted some of my methods on the success stories forum under "it's leaving -- again." I hope you'll find it helpful. I have enjoyed this thread very much. :) |
|
|
|
johnaccardi
USA
182 Posts |
Posted - 09/27/2008 : 16:56:29
|
Quick question here...
When I drink alcohol or kiss a girl my mouth goes completely dry. I mean it's absolutely terrible. It really brings my thoughts back to my problem and makes me catastrophize. Now, for the question. Do I do these things and put my mind on the problem, or do I avoid these things so I can more so "forget" about the problem.
The problem with not doing these things is I feel "left out" I feel "held back." But the problem with doing them is I always have the worst reaction of symptoms and It devastates me for like the entire week because It kills me not to be able to do these things without the symptom taking over.
It's funny because in college girls and beer are what guys care about and TMS is really messing with me here.
Thanks for the advice. |
|
|
|
Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2008 : 09:42:07
|
quote:
Originally posted by johnaccardi
When I drink alcohol or kiss a girl my mouth goes completely dry. I mean it's absolutely terrible. It really brings my thoughts back to my problem and makes me catastrophize. Now, for the question. Do I do these things and put my mind on the problem, or do I avoid these things so I can more so "forget" about the problem.
If you accept the dry mouth as a TMS symptom then you need to ignore it and go about your life.
The fact that you "catasrophize" means this symptom still has a firm grasp on you, and as long as it does, the symptom will persist because it is serving its purpose.
It is a self-fulfilling prophecy, a conditioned response. You expect the dry mouth to occur in these situations so it does. Until you can laugh it off and say "a ha, I know exactly what you're trying to do and I'm not going to let it get to me" then you have to keep doing the work. |
|
|
|
pandamonium
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2008 : 14:24:06
|
John you say that your mouth goes dry when you kiss a girl or drink alcohol. This is conditioning; you expect it so it happens. For me fear and conditioning are the 2 worst culprits for producing back pain. When I can see that my conditioning has kicked in I have a stiff talk with myself and can often avert a fully fledged attack.
|
|
|
|
Topic |
|
|
|
How do symptoms fade?
