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brightondebs
United Kingdom
21 Posts |
 Posted - 07/11/2008 : 04:47:28
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Hi all,
first of all, forgive me for opening a topic which has pretty much been covered before but I find reading others' discussions are just not the same as being addressed directly. I also find wading through this vast forum exhausting and confusing...
Anyway, I'm currently following the treatment program of FFF by Nancy Selfridge and I'm miserable and confused :( The program has taken over my life. According to Nancy I have to do two hours of meditation, journalling and tasks a day, I have to keep an anger journal that I update all day long and I have to constantly think about the emotional issues causing my pain.
Of course, nearly 4 weeks in, I'm HATING it. I feel I have no life outside working on my problems. I have to do mediation or journaling in the morning before work and in the evening when I get home. I utterly resent that so much of my spare time goes on this. I feel I have no time for friends, or relaxing. If I'm reading, I'm reading Sarno, or Fred Amir, or Louise Hay, or print outs of success stories, etc. so that's not relaxing. If I'm watching TV I feel guilty I'm not doing journalling or meditation and I've begun to dread every session knowing how emotional it will be. Because I feel so exhausted by all this emotional work and I'm sleeping badly I'm having to go to bed earlier and earlier robbing me of even more time to myself.
With fibro, just adding one extra thing to your life can be enough to tip you over the edge into feeling overwhelmed and because this book has added two hours of something extra to my life EVERY DAY I feel completely out of control and unhappy. I feel like I never get a break.
I'm super stressed, my symptoms are the worst they have ever been (after six months of vast improvement I'm back to how I was a year ago at my worst), I'm exhausted, I have NEW symptoms including allergic conjunctivitis in both eyes for the last two weeks, my sleep is terrible, I feel constantly rushed, pressured and guilty.
I KNOW a large part of the reason for my escalating symptoms is because I'm forcing myself to address my many issues (I took a weekend off after the second week and miraculously improved) but I also know that being constantly reminded of traumas in my life, constantly crying, constantly reading books on TMS, constantly forcing myself to focus on my emotions is making me miserable and robbing me of any quality of life.
FFF states you have to focus exclusively on the treatment plan in an intense way in order to push fibro out of your life as it is constantly focusing on the physical pain that is what is causing the TMS/fibro to stick around (working as a distraction from your emotional pain). But replacing one obsession with another is surely not right? What am I missing?
Please help. I want to get better, I've been chronically ill for over two years now. People keep saying if you are committed you'll win but being committed is making me so miserable :( I don't want to give up but I don't want to me miserable and in pain either! I want my life back!
Debs |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 09:40:50
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Eek! That doesn't sound much fun. I haven't read the book but I'm wondering if it was written for people who aren't working?
Hilary N |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 10:25:41
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Debs, I haven't read that particular book, but I think there is something to be said for Dr. Sarno's concept of the "Rage/ Soothe Ratio". (If we are more enraged than soothed, then we are going to have symptoms.) Dr. Brady's book talks about "Pain free for life in 40 days" and he suggests 30 minutes a day going through his exercises, and I found it was just too stressful for me, so I backed off. I'd rather it take longer but be a gentler process for me. Dr. Schubiner's program is, I believe for an hour a day for 4 weeks. It seems to me there are MANY different ways to approach TMS and I don't believe treating TMS is about "CONSTANTLY forcing yourself to focus on your emotions and making you miserable" !! What you describe with the terrible sleep, constant feeling of "rushed, pressured and guilty" sounds like it is just activating your autonomic nervous system even more...
I don't think there is any "perfect" way to treat TMS / AOS/ mind-body syndrome. Many people get better in many different ways. Nancy Selfridge's program is just one way.
The whole point IS to "get your life back" and maybe you need some deep soothing instead, right now? |
Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 07/11/2008 10:27:31 |
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Peg
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 11:50:29
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Sorry you're having such a tough time. Sounds like you're working hard. Maybe too hard.
I would suggest moderation in your TMS/FFF work. It is important to get back to living your life. Most importantly, having some fun and enjoying your loved ones. Celebrating even the small improvements in your symptoms. Seeing your friends, laughing at a funny TV show, getting lost in an interesting novel (not TMS related) can all be just as healing as the TMS work.
As long as you don't slide back into thinking physical rather than psychological. I don't see the harm in taking it slower as R/S Ratio mentioned. I have only read parts of FFF but I wonder if Dr. Selfridge recommends the intense approach because the symptoms of Fibro can be so pervasive (and maybe she figures they're not working like you are).
I didn't have Fibro, but I had pretty severe upper back and neck pain (which had been chronic for 10 years) when I found Healing Back Pain. I remember the early work being difficult at times but I don't think I did it as intensely as you're doing. My improvement was gradual with some set backs, symptom imperatives, the usual. I'm 8 years out and doing well. Although I occasionally have to re-read and journal, but it's sporadic.
You mentioed having "6 months of vast improvement". What was that due to? Was it when you first learned about TMS? If so , that shows that you're on the right track. I think you're right on when you say that replacing one obsession with another isn't good.
Maybe it would be better for you if you just followed the treatment advice in Dr. Sarno's books. People have recovered from fibro using his approach.
The work is aimed at helping you feel better, not worse.
Just one more thing. Throughout my post it seemed strange to me to keep referring to fibromyalgia. I think it's extremely important to get the message deep into the subconsious that there technically is no such thing as fibromyalgia (it's something made up by the Academy of Rheumatologists). Bottom line is that it is TMS, albeit in a severe form, but TMS nonetheless.
Take care,
Peg
In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei |
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LuvtoSew
USA
327 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 16:31:56
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| I read her book, but didn't do the work she suggested. I thought Sarno was better. Just too structured a program for me. |
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hkp
47 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 17:42:20
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Hi Debs:
I agree with Peg. In 1996, before I even knew what TMS was, a doctor told me I had fibromyalgia. Before that, the same condition had been diagnosed as carpal tunnel and thoracic outlet symdrome. I believe fibro is a catch-all term, and most likley meaningless.
I did get better, and as I recall, I started getting MUCH better at a time when I took my focus off the pain and all the work I had to do.
Since then, I have had a number of other TMS symtoms/equivalents, including a wicked manifestation I'm working my way through now. I've been doing the same as you - focusing on all the heavy emotional and TMS work there is to be done, obsessively reading this board, etc.
So this is a reminder as much to myself, that it is OK to lighten up, do other things, laugh, and let yourself experience moments of normalcy.
Now if only "myself" can remember that. All the best-
hkp |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2008 : 23:46:59
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quote:
I KNOW a large part of the reason for my escalating symptoms is because I'm forcing myself to address my many issues (I took a weekend off after the second week and miraculously improved) but I also know that being constantly reminded of traumas in my life, constantly crying, constantly reading books on TMS, constantly forcing myself to focus on my emotions is making me miserable and robbing me of any quality of life.
FFF states you have to focus exclusively on the treatment plan in an intense way in order to push fibro out of your life as it is constantly focusing on the physical pain that is what is causing the TMS/fibro to stick around (working as a distraction from your emotional pain). But replacing one obsession with another is surely not right? What am I missing?
Because being wrapped up in the process of TMS will never heal you. If you want to continue to suffer pain, then keep giving TMS a life of it's own.
When you're ready to let go of the control and cliche 'journaling' till you drop from mental exhaustion,that would be a goos starting point.
In doesn't take 'journaling' every day to beat TMS. Not everyone has success at journaling, in fact many don't.
I've been pain free from 'fibromyalgia' for about a month now, and it keeps going. How many times have I journaled in the past month?
Zero
What changed it for me? Read my other posts if you're ready to let go of the cycle that will keep you in pain. Journaling may be adding to the cycle.
"Anger Diaries" are a horrible idea. You think getting 'mad ' at TMS or spotlighting your anger every day for hours would heal it? Or jotting down things that make you angry about the past, present, future?
From my VAST experience (7 years straight of debilitating fibro like pain), this does not work.
I know that I have 'offended' some people in the past by saying this, but the old "Journal journal journal till you drop and get angry at TMS" method will not work in the long run.
Dr. Sarno had/has only half of the equation.
Did you know that my TMS of 7 years disappeared in one day? You wanna know what it was? It was an 'aha' moment. That's all.
My 'pain body' ceased to exist when the complete logic of letting go and stopping the 'battle' overrode TMS, to the point where TMS is not even an issue on my most ENRAGED, STRESSFUL and ANXIOUS days.
You can read my more recent posts to gain a better understanding of someone who has TRULY beat severe chronic TMS. I know I'm not a "Doctor" or have not authored any books on the subject. My 'work' was in the trenches with TMS. Obsessing and studying every aspect of it until I had gone almost mad.
You want to cure TMS?
Then stop fighting. Stop obsessing. Stop being OVERLY aware of your thoughts. Cut the journaling if it makes you worse. Rehashing anger and disappointments about life won't magically make TMS cease in the physical body and come to the conscious foreground where it needs to be, and all is well in the land of milk and honey.
Just the opposite.
Ego, Control, not living in the 'NOW", "what if" thinking, undue anxiety about things you couldn't possibly change or stop from happening,being victimized by TMS, seeing yourself through a TMS lense constantly.... these things are your enemy.
Embracing TMS, relinquishing the Ego, giving up any illusion of control in life, seeing the pain as an indicator of wrong 'living', letting TMS have it's moment in the Sun, letting go of all thoughts of what you were 'supposed to be' in life, slowing down to be mindful and feeling instead of a 'thinking' being, relinquishing all thoughts of "getting TMS out of my body"....these things will heal you.
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"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon |
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brightondebs
United Kingdom
21 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 02:13:16
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la_kevin - so much of what you say makes a lot of sense to me. I will take the time to read your other posts.
But as an update today....yesterday I did no FFF work at all, this morning I am relaxed, full of energy, skipping around the house singing, slept better and am now planning a day trip to a town that takes 2 hours on the bus....
I feel great, but in the back of the mind is the feeling that the TMS has "won". It got me to stop digging. I know I live in denial, I know I have a history of extremely traumatic events I have never dealt with, I know forcing myself to remember and think about them in the last month has led to depression and stress. So, letting go, living in the now, like I am today, is that not possibly WHY I've got TMS/fibro? Because when I do this I'm just papering over the cracks? Can I truly get better without dealing with my past?
Anyway, off for my little trip and to enjoy today :) Thanks to all the people who have posted here - I appreciate it! |
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salamander
85 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 02:44:03
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Along with what Kevin said, start challenging yourself physically. Whether or not you are an athelete, starting doing more of something. As you gain confidence in your body, the pain will fade. You really can't "think" this crap away, you must stop being the victim here and get back to being active.
Get back to running, smimming, tennis....anything that you used to do. Take a self defense class and start hitting some bags. Get back to the primordial you that is not fragile, but strong and resiliant.
And remember, despite the pain, TMS is in the words of Sarno "invariably benign".
Doug |
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HellNY
130 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 02:55:45
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I want to add a bit to what LaKevin has said.
In reaidng this forum for the past year I see 1 thread in common between those who succeed and those who dont. And that is that those hwo succeed tend to no longer get upset about their pain. They dont iinvest negative emotion to it. Whether or not they realize it, it is the negative emotion and the "upset-ness" about the pain that feeds it and makes it worse. This is exactly also what happens with tinnitus. Howver in the case of the tinnitus it seems ot be an explicitly acknowledged factor whereas in TMS it really isnt, instead you are encouraged to believe in freud's theories and journal all day.
Here's a question: what if the fact that teh Sarno method works has nothing to do at all with journaling or coping with your emotions? What if, in fact, people who come to teh idea that there pain is due to emotional causes, are liberated from their pain because they no longer see it as a "serious threat" and no longer feel something is "wrong and getting worse" with their body.
Ever hear of teh NOCEBO effect? Look it up. Its the opposite of placebo. What if TMS is essentially, at its core, and exteme case of NOCEBO? Especially in people who are prone to catstrophizing and worrying and obsessing...the very people who are at greatest risks for checking into every little bodily sensation and assuming and worrying that bad things might be happening when the pain lasts. And thus feed into it?
Journaling never did squat for me. What made all teh difference is when. over time, I took my pain less nad less seriously. It used to be "of that pain I cant stand it! This will never get better it my herniated disk or nerve damage or...!!"
And now it "oh its that stupid TMS pain that comes and goes. Whatever. Its not signifying anything "real" and Im going to ignore it. If its gets too bad that I need to rest, I will. But, I knwo it doesnt mean anything more than a phantom pain...possibly related to my emotions..but harmless nonetheless."
With that attitude and mindset I no longer take ANY meds and am in less pain than I have been in 10 years. Its been about 9 straight months now.
Yeah. What if?
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Edited by - HellNY on 07/12/2008 02:57:21 |
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pandamonium
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 03:01:22
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Hi Debs,
so you're 4 weeks into the plan, and how long does she suggest you follow it? I agree with Kevin that it's not a fight, you need to stop seing it as a battle and make peace with it. But I also think you need to do some work to deal with your emotive past. Maybe you could do some work for a week or two and then have a week or two off rather than doing it constantly. It doesn't mean TMS has won it means you are taking a different approach and one that will let you have better days.
I am going to start the Presence Process by Michael Brown, it's a 10 week course and I've decided to start it after my summer holiday as I'm concerned I'll get into the kind of state you describe when I am supposed to be enjoying myself!
Good luck
Panda |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 08:36:39
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thanx to vanjos72 putting this video in the success story forum. dude recovered from crippling back pain after sarno. "no journaling".
He got his pain after the birth of his 2nd kid much like I did in my first episode. http://www.wbaltv.com/video/16845705/index.html |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 09:36:12
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WOW Skizzik! I had missed that ! POWERFUL INTERVIEW!!! thanks for posting that link on this thread. ("WBAL TV 11 Sports Director Gerry Sandusky says he went through years of excruciating back pain but finally found a doctor who changed his life without surgery.")
More thinking on this topic: It seems many people can just "read Dr. Sarno's book" and get better and don't have to do any particular "protocol" about reading the daily reminders or journalling or doing explicit deconditioning, etc. Dr Brady gives a great example of an "overnight cure" (on page 217 of his "Pain free for life - The 6-week cure for Chronic pain without surgery or drugs.") BTW, I believe there are "success stories" re fibromyalgia from people using Dr Brady's program, Dr Sarno's, and Dr Schubiner's .. Nancy Selfridge lays out her own ideas, but I think everyone has to find what works for them, and to "self-customize".
Another thought sparked by HellyNY's (thanks HellyNY for a thought-provoking post!): Dr. Schubiner talks about pain having a physical, mental and emotional component ... if we "float through" our symptoms (a la Claire Weekes) and not take them too seriously, we can really relieve ourselves of the mental and emotional parts which tend to exacerbate things. In my own case, I can "let my symptoms go" a lot more easily now. If I have a bad day now, I can just let it go the next day when I am feeling better, whereas before I would be worried that I was in a real "downswing" and that worry could affect me for days after that one bad day...
I don't know that TMS / AOS / mind body syndrome is always primarily about a "distraction" ... could be more about the rage/soothe ratio or could be just the autonomic nervous system is way overloaded, or from having been given too many "nocebos" or any number of other reasons. The "distraction theory" I thought, was just a hypothesis. I think maybe we have to test any hypotheses for ourselves, to see what works for us as individuals. I think I have also read that "re-living" traumas can do more harm than good, so not all "trauma therapy" can be helpful, either, and I think that can also apply to *self-help* trauma therapy.
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Edited by - RageSootheRatio on 07/12/2008 13:50:02 |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 10:46:59
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quote:
I feel great, but in the back of the mind is the feeling that the TMS has "won".
NO! You have won because you are going about your life happy and free of worry.
That is the end goal of all TMS work. You do what you need to get there, and you are done. Do a little maintenance if you need it, and you are done.
As RSR wisely says, we all should do what works for US.
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What were you expecting? |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 21:29:22
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quote:
Originally posted by brightondebs
la_kevin - so much of what you say makes a lot of sense to me. I will take the time to read your other posts.
But as an update today....yesterday I did no FFF work at all, this morning I am relaxed, full of energy, skipping around the house singing, slept better and am now planning a day trip to a town that takes 2 hours on the bus....
I feel great, but in the back of the mind is the feeling that the TMS has "won". It got me to stop digging. I know I live in denial, I know I have a history of extremely traumatic events I have never dealt with, I know forcing myself to remember and think about them in the last month has led to depression and stress. So, letting go, living in the now, like I am today, is that not possibly WHY I've got TMS/fibro? Because when I do this I'm just papering over the cracks? Can I truly get better without dealing with my past?
Anyway, off for my little trip and to enjoy today :) Thanks to all the people who have posted here - I appreciate it!
Your past will always be with you. I myself had a very traumatic childhood. Most all of my therapists I've ever seen agree that I had one of the worst they've heard. But I visited the demons only enough to acknowledge how I really felt about it, and then moved on.
But from what I have seen, reliving negative experiences is not the solution. People who even suffer PTSD, (like I did when I was a child)will nopt ease it by 'talking it out'. The perceptions that the said 'trauma' caused to go off base, are the things that need to be changed.
Trauma changes people by altering their response to the world and their response to their own thoughts. It's my opinion that once you acknowledge the anger you feel about a past traumatic event or 'bad childhood' you NEED TO get busy on changing the cognitive patterns that you have NOW, in the PRESENT.
The 'inner child' stuff is played way too much. The emphasis on this part of the Ego is overblown. To revisit it in journaling over and over and over again , to the point where you relive it everyday...does what?
We all feel the way we do mostly because of the NOW. This is not a mimic of an Eckhart Tolle type mantra, this is just logic. You only have the 'now' to deal with your thoughts and how they effect you.
I could have seen someone I loved killed in front of me as a child. And hell yes that's going to affect me as a child for years to come. But after I revisit that memory in some therapy session, and acknowledge what it did to me, then what?
YOur past needs to be put in it's proper box. If someone did you wrong as a child, you need to eventually accept that bad things happen to children or young adults, and that no fault of it was yours. There eventually needs to be a place where it does not define you.
Yes, you can heal from TMS without journaling about your past. TMS is seeded much more in the 'NOW' than we are taught to believe, IMO.
TMS gains most of it's power from our daily responses to it, than any ruminating of past events could ever do. You could have a great childhood, great past life where nothing bad ever happened, and have full blown TMS....doesn't that make you wonder?
From what I have seen, TMS is a
1) conditioned way of seeing pain, as a response to avoid present or near present perceptions, fears, angers, stresses, and anxieties about life.
2) Given power by making it part of your identity.
3) Can easily go from a 10 in intensity to a 0, with just one 'aha' moment.
4) Thrives on 'what if' thinking. Examples:
a)"What does this mean, this new pain".
b)"Will I be like this forever?"
c)"What if I get a flare up if I am out in public or at work or the movie theater,etc"
d)"What if I don't beat this now, does this mean I really have something structural?"
e) "What if I won't be able to provide for my family"
5)Thrives on the ANXIETY caused by rehashing past regrets, seeing your life in a "I should have been this person" lens, or believing you 'should be' somewhere.
a) I should be pain free by now
b) I should be able to run a mile
c) I should be healed like so and so is.
d) I should be a Millionaire right now if it weren't for TMS getting in the way.(ahhh gave it power?)
e) If it weren't for TMS, I would be able to be such and such and so forth.
6) Loves when you berate yourself.
7) Loves when you attain self hatred or any negative self view.
8) Loves when you fight it and say things like "Get out of my body you %#$^! I will Bleep you you bleepin son of a bleep I'm so sick of you you bleepsucking motherbleeper(you get the picture)
9)TMS ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVES you to distract yourself with the subject of........TMS. It loves to be talked about on forums and boards. It has a life after all.
10) LOOOOOOOVES for you to mentally 'scan' your body to see "where the pain is now, is it moving? Is it, is it, is this good uhhh oh no it's in my foot, ahaaaa now it's in my back,.....ahhh it just moved to my ears...ahhhh.What does this mean? Why me, whyyyy, what's going on panic panic"
All this while you are talking to someone on the phone! :/
11)Loves for you to think you are ACTUALLY sick.
12)HATES when you are present and conscious of what's happening now. It loves when you worry about tomorrow. It cannot allow you to enjoy a moment, or be thankful for even the smallest joy.
13) Thrives off of thinking that "life sucks and this existence sucks"
14)TMS Luuuuhhhuuuhhhhhuuuuvz when you fight it. It wants a boxing match with you. That way, you don't have to face the world "outside". It's like a woodpecker on your shoulder that keeps you safe from feeling anything bad. Problem is, it just replaces all those bad feelings you might have about the world, with pain and bad feelings about being in pain. What a ****ing opportunistic asshole TMS is. But he/she thinks she's doing you a favor.
15)TMS wants you to get mad at it. It likes when you think you have control. But try releasing all control one day. Try actually laughing at it and doing exactly what YOU want to, without regard to it. Watch it go into a panic, it's hilarious.
16)TMS loves when you think you can 'outsmart' it. It loves when people think they can beat it if they just 'dig enough' in their little journals. As if talking about a life event for the millionth time will one day 'jolt' TMS. "You'll show TMS this time kid"(shakes fist in the air). What a joke, definition of insanity.
17) TMS loves when you are predictable and try to counter it with 'methods' and 'approaches'. It hates when you just give up and stop fighting. TMS after all, needs drama and action, lights, camera. Anything to be alive.
In closing. TMS is a ghost that thrives off of having it's own life and keeping you out of the PRESENT. It does NOT want you to FEEL. It wants you to THINK. Stop thinking. 95% of the thoughts that are running through your conscious mind are COMPLETE GARBAGE.
But there is a catch and a surprise too. This will blow your mind, as it has me.
While my TMS is 99% gone, my thinking is still mostly the same in everyday life.  I really haven't changed my views of much. I really am not a 'better person".
The key is my view of TMS, that changed dramatically.You don't have to change the way you even view life, that may just be a side effect.
When you change the way you see the pain, what the pain means to your ego, what the pain means to your supposed 'future', what the pain is, what the pain can teach you, you will beat it.
TMS has nowhere to run once you realize it's fake. It's a symptom that thrives in distraction and thrives in the fact that it has GOT YOUR ATTENTION.
Want to see TMS get scared as hell?
Imagine yourself having it for the rest of your life (worst case scenario). Sit there and meditate on it. Imagine your life and all those years passing by with chronic pain.
After that, make a deal with TMS. Say "If this is what you want, so be it". And then go outside and accept the fact that you were promised nothing....and live your life. With the total acceptance that life is what happens and you will do what YOU can, while this event has other plans. Accept that TMS is with you and in you. Thank TMS for showing you that you needed to change. Be aware of every moment you don't feel pain(these moments will turn into days).
Accept and move forward.And you will see how truly small TMS is. You will wake up and understand that the battle is won when you stop fighting. |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 22:01:56
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silence
speechless
clap...........clap.........clap.clap.clap. full applause!
damn kev, who needs your success story when you keep comin out w/ posts like these?
I remember when you first got here and I felt like you were screamin "this aint no ha ha cute little tms gremlin crap that I got!"
and now you have a grasp on it that your'e conveying very well.
Definitely a printout and read several times later post. Nice work! Proud of you bro! |
Edited by - skizzik on 07/12/2008 22:15:59 |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2008 : 22:14:57
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quote:
Originally posted by skizzik
silence
speechless
clap...........clap.........clap.clap.clap. full applause!
damn kev, who needs your success story when you keep comin out w/ posts like these?
I remember when you first got here and I felt like you were screamin "this aint no ha ha cute little tms gremlin crap that I got!"
and now you have a grasp on it that your'e conveying very well.
Bwahahahaha. I know dude. I was all CATASTROPHE and DOOM. To be fair though, I was in a panic. And I hurt all over like a mother. Let's be honest, I had TMS all over my body and felt like a truck hit me everyday. Can tend to make you hate life. It's just weird when you 'snap out' of the TMS cycle.
Of course now I realize it's so easy to 'accept' TMS in hindsight. A year ago, I would have listened to my own words and thought, "Who is this a-hole.... I wanna fight this crap.....yoooooo Joeeeee!!"
*Pulls out Ak-47*
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"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon |
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sue1012
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2008 : 06:42:35
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| I've only posted here a couple times, but gain so much insight reading everyone's posts. I just want to say to Kevin that your posts are so amazing and inspiring and I want to thank you for taking the time to write what you do. I truly hope I can get to where you are some day as I suffer from the same fibro-type symptoms and feelings of having been runover by a truck every day that you used to. Just knowing that you have overcome it gives me such hope, even though I know I have a long way to go! |
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RageSootheRatio
Canada
430 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2008 : 07:51:06
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I don't want to 'hijack' the thread either, so this will be short, but YES Kevin, thanks so much for your posts. I've also gone back to read through many of your archived posts and look forward to reading more (esp your whole success story!)
I realized yesterday that the deeper symptoms (the fatigue/tiredness) I am tackling now come from a different (deeper?) place than my headaches (which were MUCH easier to cure, a la Sarno.) Maybe I am beginning to see that the fatigue comes from my being a TOTAL CONTROL FREAK!! Anyway, it is interesting your conclusions about TMS after your long journey, and much appreciated that you are so generous to post and share with those of us who are still hoping for your kind of success! |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2008 : 11:28:36
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Want to see TMS get scared as hell?
Imagine yourself having it for the rest of your life (worst case scenario). Sit there and meditate on it. Imagine your life and all those years passing by with chronic pain.
After that, make a deal with TMS. Say "If this is what you want, so be it". And then go outside and accept the fact that you were promised nothing....and live your life. With the total acceptance that life is what happens and you will do what YOU can, while this event has other plans. Accept that TMS is with you and in you. Thank TMS for showing you that you needed to change. Be aware of every moment you don't feel pain(these moments will turn into days).
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ok....
1. we make tms scared as hell....can't it simply crank up the pain and throw us back into the structural at it's will?
2. how does one "let go" w/ true acceptence? this in itself takes work, and then it's only worth the work if you feel it will cure tms which puts you back into the continuim.
3. being aware of the non-pain moments gives it as much attention as being in pain doesnt it?
4. thank tms for changing what exactly?
tms treatment seems to be extremely delicate. One false move, or thought and your'e back to square one, over and over and over again.
btw, brightondebs, thanx for your honesty. I'm glad you started this thread as I can relate to everything you said. |
Edited by - skizzik on 07/13/2008 11:31:04 |
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joli
USA
51 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2008 : 12:10:09
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This is the best thread I've read in a long time!
kevin-I used your approach before with TMS and it did get funny to see how TMS is in panic.
I overcame a bad pelvic pain that went to my ribcage.
I overcame "IBS"
I overcame "whiplash"
But now a year into the classic back and leg pain , I am stuck.
I have done therapy to deal with issues from the past and I dread having to do it again.
because as you guys said, reliving traumas over and over doe not make it better.
Thre has got to be a change in teh way we releae the need to "do" stuff for it all the time and maybe, not to do , is better. Just like you said "ok you wannna hurt , you wanna stick around, , then do(talking to TMS)" . Because underneath all of this pain and agony there is a fear of life and death and trust and fairness, and needing to be strong and fight to the end. But really , who ever told us life is fair, in our control, never ends etc? It is what we want it to be and with TMS personalities with iffy backgrounds, we are really pleading the universe to change the rules for us. In Sarno book , it talk abut our narcissism, control, dependency, criticism etc.
Thre are people that go through hell and create a great PRESENT and future, we are stuck in the past and in the "what if" as Kevin said.
I ask "what if" all the time, if it was my sister asking me that , I would think she is sick in the head
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On the bright side we are confirmed that all of us are very smart! too smart?
Did you know a person that was so smart , their life was out of whack?
I dated a few, cause I'm attracted to the genius guys. I married one too but he is way more balanced, thank God.
So we are not so different from the "mad professor syndrome."
TMS can also teach us to let go, perhaps it is the most important lesson we an learn.
I think therefore I am. |
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Freedom from Fibromyalgia
