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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
 Posted - 05/27/2008 : 20:32:06
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It's been six months now since the pain came back. I can't sit for more than a few minutes and then the pain is unbearable. I've tried everything:
I went to see a few movies and made myself sit thru them.
Ignored the pain. I bought a small flat and want to rent it out so I I helped my husband to move furniture around from one place to another. Kept telling myself the back is OK. It did hurt more afterwards. Trying to ignore the pain but it's constant 24/7 and really getting to me now. I'm putting on a brave face I'm consumed with pain to the point where I'm in despair. My brain is beginning to not function and it's driving me absolutely nuts.
Anything anybody please???
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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westcoastram
97 Posts |
Posted - 05/27/2008 : 21:18:52
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Mala,
Have you tried talking to a therapist about what's going on in your life? |
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1yehmon2
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 12:19:12
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| I am having a really bad day, so I shouldn't be giving advice, but the book "Pain Free For Life", did help. If I stick with all the sugestions, and assignments, I do pretty good, but when I put it on the shelf for a while, the pain comes back with a vengence. It really pisses me off!!! |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2008 : 18:08:29
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Thank you both for responding. I will look into Pain Free for Life.
Yes I went to a therapist about 4 years ago and after a few sessions she decided there wasn't any real need for me to do therapy.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2008 : 14:01:10
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Mala, if there is pain, there is work to be done. I wouldn't dismiss therapy based on one therapist thinking it isn't needed.
Many components as to why we have pain. Everyday things create pain too. When I get apprehensive about something I know I have to do some writing about fear. Once pain hits me I do it immediately. Pain ALWAYS abates. There has been plenty I dug up from the past as well.
Maybe you need to do some probing. Write topics down that bother you. What comes to mind first? And then? How do you FEEL about that? What else? Family? Everyday life? Job? Saying Yes when you really don't want to?
Also very important to make time for things you WANT to do. Things we enjoy help balance the everyday things we may not care for.
Don't give up. But don't obsess either. I know it's tough with pain. I was there. I had the pain from sitting. Try a pain killer if you need to. But I would get started writing (yes, I know I'm a broken record BUT IT WORKS!!!).
-L |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2008 : 18:20:17
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Thanks mizlorinj for reiterating the importance of journalling. Sarno gives it top priority too.
I must admit I tend to sometimes avoid journalling. (That in itself is an interesting observation) I tend to think more and internalise like talk to myself, my unconscious, shout at my pain etc. but maybe I should be trying to externalise my thoughts and feelings . I do find it difficult to start writing about anything. I sometimes don't know quite where to start but when I do I am surprised at how much I can come up with.
I'm very pleased to hear that you have benefitted from journalling & pls do keep reminding us all.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2008 : 22:17:53
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I also liked Pain Free for Life. I noticed you mentioned that you think and internalize. I did too, and this may have been the way I internally "wound up" the pain cycle. My "thinking mind" or ego self
would say: I can't stand this pain!(or person, or situation) and repeat this over and over to myself internally. This has to build up a lot of negativity and pain. Meditation, exercise, reading helpful books, gave me relief from constantly thinking (especially negative thoughts). Dr. Gregg Jacobs in "The Ancestral Mind" calls these Negative Automatic Thoughts, or NATs. That was a helpful book for me. Now I have long periods with no thought, which is very relaxing.
Dr.Jacobs called having "a clear mind" basically not thinking. The thoughts that do come in can be helpful or creative, instead of the same negative ones repeated. Apparently, we have about 60,000 thoughts per day, most of them the same each day. What if these were reduced by 20, or 50 percent? This would leave a little "breathing" room. Dr. Jacobs says that the Thinking Mind started to be active about 10,000 years ago, and has gradually taken over, and driven us mad. Ancient people had the problems of life without the neurosis. |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2008 : 04:50:36
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Thanks altherunner. I must get hold of the book since so many people have mentioned it.
I do try so hard not to be too aware of the pain. That's why I force myself to do stuff even though it hurts but sometimes it is is so difficult to even try to appreciate something nice when you are hurting all the time. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2008 : 13:45:30
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Sorry to hear what you're going through, mala.
How are things going with your mother?
Hilary N |
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mala
Hong Kong
774 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2008 : 18:36:54
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Hilary,
How are u doing ?
What an excellent memory u have and how on earth did u remember about my mother !?
She is playing her usual games and is up to her old tricks.
I went from totally not speaking to her for 2 years which resulted in 2 years of being pain free. Then something happened and I had to re establish contact. She also needed my help as she has to move from where she is living right now and needs to find a new place since her building is marked for redevelopment. She is old and so I said I would help find something for her.
Very soon afterwards she starts giving my sister a hard time. She has always done this. She can't seem to keep a happy relationship with both her daughters at the same time. Same old, same old.
Here's what happened this time.
My sister's mother in law Giselle is French and every year my sister, her husband and kids visit her in Bordeaux over the summer. A few years ago my mother was invited to stay as well. They have a charming place and my mother was given the VIP treatment for a month - the best room, the best food. Heck the lady didn't even cook beef in the house once she found out that my mom doesn't eat beef because she is Hindu. She had the best time and she says so herself.
So when Giselle vsits HK this year my mom says that she would like to take her and her boyfriend out for lunch. Great.
Just a few days before they are due to go, suddenly out of the blue she says to my sister 'So which boyfriend is your mother in law coming with this time'? and starts slagging her. She even goes so far as to almost call her a slut. Now Giselle is about 64 and is a stunner. She has had a tough life as her husband shot himself when she was still quite young. Since then she raised 3 children and looked after the family business and worked very hard. She is a fun loving kind lady who still enjoys male company and has had a few long term relationships with men since her husband died. Her kids have no objection and are happy to see their mom happy. Most importantly it's none of mt mother's g****m business what she does with her life.
The worst is when she says that she was the reason her husband shot himself. What an awful thing to say about someone especially when you don't know anything about them and why would you say that about someone who was so good to you, who treated you so well??
Anyway it upset my sis who is very fond of her mother in law and she started defending her. She then said to my mother that it was ridiculous for her to invite Giselle for lunch considering the way she felt about her. My mom however did not want to lose face so they all had lunch and it was a rather strained affair.
Since then she has been giving my sis the cold silent treatment and has climbed up on her pedestal again. She is blaming the whole episode on my sister.
When I spoke to my mother the other day I asked her what was the matter and she said "ask your sister". I left it at that.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. I want to tear my hair out. When will this silly game ever end???
Hilary sorry but I just had to get it off my chest
Good Luck & Good Health
Mala |
Edited by - mala on 05/31/2008 18:51:01 |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2008 : 20:23:02
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its mostly about standing up to it and being able to be not affected by it anymore. i woke up from my nap today with my tongue on fire for whatever reason and it was just kinda burning and i was like "oh that's nice brain good little strategy that one's sure going to work." totally wrote it off and went to go make some dinner and be angry (i've been really pissed off today). it stopped and it's miraculously healed itself fully now, surprise surprise.
also if the pain is that unbearable you should try some psychotherapy that will help you not only get at but fully express your anger/grief/shame/pain/sadness/etc etc. not just intellectually understand it but be able to get it up and out of your body so you can get some relief from all your tension.
ive come to realize we have a finite amount of anger inside us and if we get it out we feel a lot better. other than that its really a game of not giving into your neurotic obsessions with the symptoms. no more demons.
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i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2008 : 23:44:53
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I don't know if "putting on a happy face" is a good way to deal with it. From what I am learning lately, is that acceptance is a more healthy way of dealing with it. 'Fighting' the pain, at least from my experience, does not help one bit, and can actually make it worse.
Being aware of emotions is key too. That 'emotion' that might be making you tense is the thought of TMS itself. Many people say to ignore the thought that "TMS is making me stressed". I STRONGLY disagree. There are many worries and "what if" thinking tied to having pain like yours. Trust me, I know that pain well.
Many things run through your mind with this pain. The body and mind are in a constant state of "uh oh uh oh oh my god what's happening to me" or "what does this mean to my future", "will my loved one leave me", "will I be able to survive if I can't work"..and so on and so on.
I think it is wrong to assume that TMS itself should not be looked at as one of the 'stressors' in one's life, and to only look at the usual 'what's going on in my life things'
WHat's going on in my life????? For ****s sake, I can't sit and I'm in constant pain, got it?? Now one might say this, but that is not the full picture though. The pain is there because of 'something', and that 'something' needs to be acknowledged. But behind the pain, is what the pain MEANS to you, your future, tomorrows, the doubts of what tomorrow will bring.
Those are all the 'what ifs' that your brain will run in circles on subconsciously all day. THESE THINGS add much more to the pain. remember, the cycle of pain is always enhanced and reborn from your anxiety ABOUT the pain.
Let go. Try to 'accept' you have TMS. Like an alcoholic or gambler. It sounds counter intuitive, but I think it needs to be a goal. Don't fight TMS, you will lose every time, I have found this out.
If you reinforce your 'control mind' over TMS and try to think it out of you, it will grow in power. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is relinquish all power.
This is not the same as 'ignoring' TMS. Ignoring TMS is a fallacy and the brain CANNOT ignore pain,even if you try to do so CONSCIOUSLY. Giving up the control mechanism of the EGO is much stronger than ignoring.
I personally think, after revisiting with my TMS therapist, that the CONTROL mechanism is the power center for many of us. That the ego wants the control over the TMS and TMS is trying to 'teach' us about control. That control is further fed by our anxieties about the future, dictated by our losses and grief of the present or past.
Try to let go. Try to release the 'fight'. TMS wants you to fight it. Responding by more denial (putting on a happy face) or trying to out game play it('ignoring') it, will not send it the message.
Let go of the wants and let go of the fears. TMS is telling you to let go.
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"Over thinking...over analyzing...separates the body from the mind." Maynard from the band TOOL |
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 06/01/2008 : 15:21:55
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Hi mala,
Yes, I remembered before when you said the pain came back when you re-established contact with your mother and that's why I mentioned it.
I hope the getting it off your chest helped a bit! But I'm wondering whether maybe therapy would be able to help you deal with the emotions.
Also, have you read (yet another book) Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg?
All the best,
Hilary N |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2008 : 01:45:23
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quote:
Originally posted by la_kevin
Try to let go. Try to release the 'fight'. TMS wants you to fight it. Responding by more denial (putting on a happy face) or trying to out game play it('ignoring') it, will not send it the message.
Let go of the wants and let go of the fears. TMS is telling you to let go.
Kevin,
How do you "let it go?" This is probably the hardest thing I am trying to learn about TMS. How can I let go of the want to "want to live a normal life" and the fear that this stupid pain will keep coming back and interfering with my life?
When the pain is always there (whether unbearable or "just enough to annoy you") it's like having a splinter under your skin that you yearn to dislodge. I know what Mala is saying about not being able to function -- it seems for me, I can only take so much pain for so long, and then I feel like I'm reaching the end of my rope!
Can you elaborate on what your TMS therapist has told you? I agree that it's a fight (that's what my TMS therapist told me, but I only had a couple of phone sessions with him). What exactly do you mean by "giving up the control mechanism of the EGO "?
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 00:46:32
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quote:
Originally posted by positivevibes
quote:
Originally posted by la_kevin
Try to let go. Try to release the 'fight'. TMS wants you to fight it. Responding by more denial (putting on a happy face) or trying to out game play it('ignoring') it, will not send it the message.
Let go of the wants and let go of the fears. TMS is telling you to let go.
Kevin,
How do you "let it go?" This is probably the hardest thing I am trying to learn about TMS. How can I let go of the want to "want to live a normal life" and the fear that this stupid pain will keep coming back and interfering with my life?
When the pain is always there (whether unbearable or "just enough to annoy you") it's like having a splinter under your skin that you yearn to dislodge. I know what Mala is saying about not being able to function -- it seems for me, I can only take so much pain for so long, and then I feel like I'm reaching the end of my rope!
Can you elaborate on what your TMS therapist has told you? I agree that it's a fight (that's what my TMS therapist told me, but I only had a couple of phone sessions with him). What exactly do you mean by "giving up the control mechanism of the EGO "?
I've been practicing this premise with all my heart(not mind). And I have noticed a decrease in that last 10% of pain. I'll try to explain the best I can, or the best translation of what I've been told.
What my therapist told me about my fears and ego:
Me: But I wanted to do so much with my life, and for years I have been in a prison. I could have been somebody great, I should have had three albums finished by now, I could have been a friggin millionaire with great kids and a wife, blah blah blah.
Him: Who says you were supposed to be anything? Was it promised to you? Is 'life' promised to anyone? When people are bombed in Iraq, what 'life' were they supposed to have?
Ego! I instantly realized the sad truth of letting go what I perceived as 'losing' from TMS. I cried, realizing it would never come back. The time, the loss of relationships, the loss of opportunity. Things like this are GRIPPED by the ego and add to the 'not letting go'.
That's an example.
Another example:
Me: But I want this out of my body now. I ****ing hate TMS. I want to be normal. I want to wake up with pain and not have anxiety spasm that choke me while I fall asleep. I want it gone. I'm tired of fighting it every minute and feeling like I'm stuck in a nightmare.
Him: You need to accept that you have TMS. You will most likely always have TMS. Not the symptoms, but the propensity. TMS is your alarm telling you that your life and perceptions need to change.Fighting TMS (at least for you, and I think most) is a losing battle. Doing the counterintuitive thing, and EMBRACING the TMS, absolves all the power.
Me: But that's almost impossible, how the hell can I embrace pain?
Him: Because fighting it is what gives it it's power.
This is another example.
See I myself know I have control issues. I used to with other people. The past 7 years it became control of everything BUT other people. Control is an illusion. It usually deals with things you could not possibly change. This illusion gives us GREAT anxiety.
If you sit though and really think about how much you WANT TMS gone, you give it power. It feeds off your hate and negative self image. The anger you have from the LOSS(ego) of what you 'could have done' or 'could do or be".
I personally feel that TMS is not so much about 'pain' to us. It's about what that pain represents.The subconscious and unconscious mind are thinking a THOUSAND times worse things than our CONSCIOUS mind. Your subconscious is in a panic unlike ever could be imagine in real life. I believe it's almost hell in our minds. Thank God we can't act it out huh?
So your fears about life, your pain, your losses, your 'what ifs" about the past and tomorrows. You can't control it. All you can do is try to improve and do the work. Pressure on yourself to "get it out of me" won't work. It can be done dude. I think that control mechanism is feeding the pain.
I know it is hard to let go of pain. We live with pain everyday. I would give anything for the pain and sleep issues to go away forever. I have even been to the point of suicidal thinking many times over this. FOr some of us, this is more than an annoyance, this IS US, this is the fight of our lives.
But it's a fight you can't win by using pure 'want'. I think that is why many of us haven't been healed by just reading the books and 'journaling'. I don't think it's about that. I honestly think Sarno missed something, a component, and he is not perfect, there are others which will add on to his foundation.
But back to the 'fight'. I myself , have led my whole life fighting. The hardest thing for me to to is let go. Of the past mistakes, the loves lost, the hurt I've caused, the hurt done to me, etc. Remember, it all just happened yesterday in our subconscious. I would bet dollars to donuts that almost all of us have recurring dreams about high school or junior high, old friends, old feeling, old situations played over. Your mind is 'new' in that way.
SO that takes us to 'us' as TMS sufferers.
We have 'pain bodies'. It may be viewed a s a curse. Others get overnight illness and such. Heart attacks and strokes at early ages. Chronic ailments that get medication to cover the symptoms. We get tight muscles and nerve pain.
And many of us seem to follow patterns. The people pleasers, the angry cynical ones, the self loathing, the analytical, the anxious, the fearful. I think we all represent one or more of those characteristics. I wish a study would be done on this, but anyways.
The 'letting go' is the hardest. Before my therapist told it to me in WORDS< I called it 'The final TMS sollution". Surrendering to TMS and life itself. I think that men have a harder time with this. Men hate to surrender to an enemy or threat. But I promise you, if you truly ponder releasing the control of TMS, you will feel something in your body. I don't know what it is, but I have literally felt the nausea feeling at the thought of 'accepting I have TMS, and accepting that it has it's own time frame.
Try it yourself. Truly envision yourself surrendering to the fact that pain is there. You have an illness. Your Nervous System is unbalanced and triggering pain.
Now take that same thought and let every thing in your life that hurt you, run across like a movie. Let go of it, you cannot change anything. You can't take back what has been done. And with the future, the same thing. You cannot change what hasn't happened. You have VERY LITTLE control of 'life'. It's the hardest thing for anyone to admit.
You are uncertain if you will be stuck this way forever. And the pain is like a woodpecker pecking at you all day, so of course expecting to 'accept' it sounds ludicrous. But it may be the only thing that saves you, the one thing you haven't thought of.
Why did Obi Wan Kenobi let Darth Vader strike him?
And then you have to remember what in life you are THANKFUL for. Little by little each day, confirm one thing. Living with pain every second of the day is enough to make us hate life itself. Try to practice at being mindful of the times you feel good, or even no pain at all.
That along with 'acceptance' I think helps. If you can TRULY feel your mind let go of the fear and 'what ifs' of TMS and admit your are powerless, you might find the pain lessen. I have just started this theory in my own life, but I believe my therapist is correct. When he told me this, I stopped dead in mid thought and was speechless.
Nobody has shaken me like that in a long time. Letting go is the hardest thing to do for some. It takes practice. We have had years to develop TMS. For those of us that are the 'hard cases', it may take longer. There is no promise to you. You will have to face the fact that even your health is not promised.
There is no 'normal'. We all have our fights. You spoke of being at the 'end of your rope'. Trust me, I have been at the end so many times I gave up hanging on to that rope entirely. I didn't realize the power in letting go.
I looked back at my whole life and realized the main theme was "I want". I feel I was so mistreated as a kid and so spit on by 'the world' that my 'wants' became more and more. So I fought harder, tried harder than everyone, out did everyone, out shined everyone, 'beat' everything, forced life.
I only give this story because I feel that I am not alone in this. And I feel that maybe it can help. I hope you see what I mean now that I've had the time to say it.
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"Over thinking...over analyzing...separates the body from the mind." Maynard from the band TOOL |
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hottm8oh
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 08:29:20
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Kevin, your post really struck a chord with me. I also deal with a lot of regret over missed opportunities from my past. My parents abandoned me, the rest of my family ignored me, and the rest of the world threw me to the wolves. I had to work ten times harder for the things I wanted, and they still didn't pan out the way I wanted them to. I was kicked when I was down over and over again. I frequently wonder how far along I'd be in life now if I had had a different childhood or made different decisions as a young adult. I go through this "I should be this or that by now" scenarios in my head all.the.time. But your therapist is right--why am I supposed to be or do anything? My husband always says life is what happens while you're making plans. This is supposed to be the best time in my life. Things are better now for me than they ever have been, but this back pain knocks me on my ass too frequently for me to enjoy it. Intellectually I know my life could be so much worse, but my emotions are still resentful of all the things I missed, and now I feel like too much time has passed and I can never live up to my true potential. The other half of my brain tells me that it's never too late to do the things I love, whether or not I'm actually very good at those things. I'm also a music nut. I've always wanted to do something with music, but I never thought I was talented enough. I fear being ridiculed. I fear I'll suck at it.
It's funny because I never considered myself to be a true perfectionist before. I feared making mistakes or doing things poorly, but they never had to be perfect. But the more I think about it, the more I think I do lean towards a perfectionist personality. Anything unfinished makes me crazy. Things to think about.....
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Edited by - hottm8oh on 06/04/2008 08:39:38 |
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DocSprocket
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 08:36:28
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Cheers, Kevin. Home run.
Absolute home run.
These points, this outlook -- this is endlessly important for me.
You and Obi-Wan just unlocked a giant piece of the puzzle. Real shake up. I'm gonna sit down, take a long time, and really focus on this idea.
As much fight, effort, energy, passion, obsession, and intensity I threw into my battle with TMS (and similarly, the battle for things I want for myself out of life - i.e. career, love, money), the concept I would NEVER entertain was SURRENDER.
To let it all go, to relax. To give up the fight. To be still. Failures, pain, missed opportunities, rage, TMS. TO ACCEPT IT. All of it. Don't fight, just surrender.
Man... no way. "Let go." That idea is so contrary to my whole experience, so against my DNA code, I completely reject it. Which means, of course, it must be INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT.
For months my inner monologue would go something like: "I'm still having symptoms... I must not be FIGHTING HARD ENOUGH! Not DOING IT RIGHT! I can't fail at this too... this will never end... GOTTA ATTACK IT FROM ANOTHER ANGLE! FIGHT HARDER! More JOURNALING! Uncover more RAGE! Keep reading the DAMN BOOKS! Time is ticking! You're getting older, wasting life! Gotta solve this! Gotta be better! Gotta be rich!! Gotta HURRY UP!!"
If THAT BULL**** doesn't feed the TMS Godzilla, what would?
The FEAR that I might not get what I want out of this life, that I may never get healthy, that I might fail at my chosen career, I may have no talent and just completely SUCK at everything I try, that I may have wasted the best years of my life stuck at home with @#&*@%# TMS... I could never let myself just stop, and let all that go. That struggle. And be okay with the possibility that it's all out of my hands... okay, THE FACT that it's all out of my hands.
"Let go", said Obi-Wan. "Your focus determines your reality." HA, being a dyed-in-the-wool "WARS" geek finally pays off.
Great stuff, man. This has to be a GIANT part of the process for me.
Got a lot of thinking to do -- and a lot of letting go.
Many thanks, sir, many.
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hottm8oh
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 08:45:48
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quote:
Originally posted by DocSprocket
As much fight, effort, energy, passion, obsession, and intensity I threw into my battle with TMS (and similarly, the battle for things I want for myself out of life - i.e. career, love, money), the concept I would NEVER entertain was SURRENDER.
To let it all go, to relax. To give up the fight. To be still. Failures, pain, missed opportunities, rage, TMS. TO ACCEPT IT. All of it. Don't fight, just surrender.
Man... no way. "Let go." That idea is so contrary to my whole experience, so against my DNA code, I completely reject it. Which means, of course, it must be INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT.
For months my inner monologue would go something like: "I'm still having symptoms... I must not be FIGHTING HARD ENOUGH! Not DOING IT RIGHT! I can't fail at this too... this will never end... GOTTA ATTACK IT FROM ANOTHER ANGLE! FIGHT HARDER! More JOURNALING! Uncover more RAGE! Keep reading the DAMN BOOKS! Time is ticking! You're getting older, wasting life! Gotta solve this! Gotta be better! Gotta be rich!! Gotta HURRY UP!!"
If THAT BULL**** doesn't feed the TMS Godzilla, what would?
The FEAR that I might not get what I want out of this life, that I may never get healthy, that I might fail at my chosen career, I may have no talent and just completely SUCK at everything I try, that I may have wasted the best years of my life stuck at home with @#&*@%# TMS... I could never let myself just stop, and let all that go. That struggle. And be okay with the possibility that it's all out of my hands... okay, THE FACT that it's all out of my hands.
I think we share the same brain. There's a Patty Griffin lyric that goes "I'm no fighter, but I'm fighting/This whole world seems uninviting/But I don't give up." This is how I've always felt about myself. I spent 7 years FIGHTING the back pain with every ounce of time, energy, and money I had, and each day when I didn't feel better I felt like a huge failure. Surrender was never an option for me, but I think the kind of surrender Kevin is talking about is something I never considered. It doesn't mean giving up and living with the pain. It means accepting the fact that it's part of my biology. More things to think about...... |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 18:18:40
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=======
Remember, it all just happened yesterday in our subconscious.
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That was really helpful to be reminded of. Thanks, Kevin. Makes me have some more compassion and understanding for the reactions/pain that I have. It thinks it's just been injured, betrayed, hurt, etc. and it's still very fresh in the subconscious. No wonder it's freaking out!
Maybe it would help to remind my unconscious that everything is okay here and there's not actually anything to be scared or need protection from. Everything is okay here. We're safe.
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golden_girl
United Kingdom
128 Posts |
Posted - 06/04/2008 : 20:03:52
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That was a great post, Kevin. I finally read a Dr Claire Weekes book, and that's pretty much what she says of anxiety - acceptance, letting go. Bloody hard though!
"F.E.A.R.
Forgive Everyone And Remember
For Everything A Reason"
Ian Brown |
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Having a really hard time
