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Warren
USA
8 Posts |
 Posted - 05/24/2008 : 11:59:37
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Below is my history of TMS and physical and emotional pain. It's a doozy I'm afraid. I was diagnosed with TMS several years ago by Dr. Schechter and have spoken to Dr. Sopher on the phone, who absolutely concurs with that diagnosis. A little more background.
Physical
Gout – I continue to treat gout with Allopurinol. I had two serious bouts of foot pain caused by gout in the last 14 months, both of which I had to treat with oral steroids, and the foot pain resolved quickly. Otherwise, I have had no problems with foot pain from gout.
Most of 2007 and 2008 – chronic pain in the ball of left foot, near the medial plantar proper nerve and medial sesamoid bone. The pain is less pronounced now, though I still continue to wear orthotics and a metatarsal pad. I cannot comfortably run due to this chronic discomfort in my left foot.
May - June 2007 – serious allergy problems including difficulty breathing. I treated this problem with Advair, a prescription nasal spray and loratadine. These problems are now totally gone, except occasional sneezing. I no longer take Advair.
July 2007 – chest pain, which quickly dissipated in a couple of days.
October-December 2007 – a serious strain to my left shoulder, due possibly to weight lifting. My shoulder slowly improved after four months of avoiding weight lifting and specific exercises to stretch and strengthen my shoulder. It is completely healed now, and I am back to lifting weights.
Holidays 2007 – severe nausea and stomach cramps for about two weeks. Completely resolved now.
February 2008 – severe back pain (the worst in my life). Started on the right side, moved to the left side and then I had significant pain in the sciatic nerve (for the first time ever) of my left leg, with pain in the piriformis region and back of my left thigh and severe tightness/pain in my left calf. Also, my left foot was very numb around the heel and on the outside of my left foot. I had difficulty walking due to pain in my left leg and the numbness in my left foot. However, I no longer had ANY back pain! I had numerous sessions with a physical therapist which helped temporarily anyway.
Current - I have had continued chronic pain near the ball of my left foot. A orthopedic surgeon had diagnosed me with a compressed digital plantar proper nerve, which he recommends decompressing in a surgical procedure. I continue to have calf tightness in my left leg and slight numbness in my left heel, though I am now walking much better. I am seeing a new physical therapist to treat the pain in left leg and foot. Now, my RIGHT big toe is very sore on the bottom side.
Emotional
I have also had a very difficult, but productive period emotionally. I have been involved in intense psychotherapy for the past 22 months or so with a new therapist who is familiar with and believes strongly in the TMS concepts. He is also a great believer in the power of the repressed rage in the superego. In fact, he has me pound a tennis racquet on a bed several times a week to release my anger towards specific individuals and my own superego. He also has suggested I meditate daily which I have not done. Most of my psychotherapy is directed at my very painful and traumatic feelings from my terribly dysfunctional childhood.
In February, as the sciatic pain engulfed me, I reread Sarno’s entire first book, watched his MindBody Prescription video, read Sopher's book and read portions of Sarno’s latest book – the Divided Mind. I have developed a list of the possible sources of my rage. Overall, I do believe the vast majority of my physical problems are due to TMS, but I keep repeating the same terrible pattern as you can see from above. Recently, I have lost confidence that my physical pain is TMS pain. I am really struggling to figure out how much of my physical pain is due to TMS.
I need advice from other TMS suffers - what do I do next? Should I consider the decompression surgery on my left foot? Go visit one of the TMS doctors? I'm dazed and confused right now. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Help!
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/24/2008 : 17:58:06
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quote:
I continue to have calf tightness in my left leg and slight numbness in my left heel, though I am now walking much better. I am seeing a new physical therapist to treat the pain in left leg and foot. Now, my RIGHT big toe is very sore on the bottom side.
This is a big sign of TMS -- as one pain lets up, a new one develops. This does not happen with physical injuries. Why would it make any sense for one foot, then the other to have pain, with no obvious reason to switch between them? In fact, your whole history written here shows this pattern of repeated incidents that go away and come back as something else. Symptom imperative! Question the pain patterns, don't accept them as sensible. This will help with the doubts.
You have gotten the definitive diagnosis from the docs. Please talk to them about your doubts. If you can disbelieve the docs you can disbelieve anyone on this forum, and reassurances may not be of much help. It's your own determination to believe and act like you believe that will lead you to success.
If you have a severe dysfunction that needs to resolve, I imagine it may take some time. Time isn't really of the essence; you are changing your whole approach to pain and the emotions, and can look forward to long years of pain-free life as you succeed in working with these approaches.
You didn't really describe what your regular life is like, whether you're very active. If you're limiting activity and focusing on the physical (which is what it sounds like from your description) you may eventually need to return to normal activity as much as possible, and stop paying attention to and chronicling your pain as you've done here, because that will only make it harder to ignore and increase your doubts.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2008 : 03:04:19
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i'd say keep going with that primal emotional expression type stuff. whenever i feel pain/anxiety now i can actually make it go away almost completely by absolutely freaking out, convulsing, crying, screaming, cussing, punching etc etc. we intuitively know how to release emotions, you just have to bang them out until you're done with them. you'll know when your done because you'll finally relax for a few minutes.
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i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 05/25/2008 : 03:05:59
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oh, and screw meditation. i did that an hour a day for a year and it did nothing to release all the pent up emotional energy that was causing all of my anxiety and pain. best stick with the tennis racket if you want to actually feel better.
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i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
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My unreal TMS journey - What do I do next?
