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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
 Posted - 05/19/2008 : 16:18:55
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Hi there everyone,
Sorry I haven't posted in ages. I have no excuse other than to say I just took a break from the TMS merry-go-round I was on.
I am writing today to share a personal observation for those of you who might care to have some inspiration about the validity of TMS, particularly those of you who are new to this or who think there's no hope.
I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say, my best friend of 16 years/on and off boyfriend for 8 years passed away in February.
He had addictions which kept him from staying successfully sober for any decent length of time. I always worried about him, constant, underlying, worrying and obsessing: is he alive or dead? where is he? why hasn't he returned my calls, he must have picked up. This kind of pattern was the norm in my life for the last 8 years. I've had TMS for 9 years or so. Anyway, I miss him so much because he was my best friend/confidant/love/partner in crime and all around BEST FRIEND in the whole world, despite his personal struggles which had nothing to do with me. What I find interesting is that since he died 3 months ago, I feel better physically. Mentally, I have grieved hard, real hard, for his sudden, unexpected passing and every day of my life I miss him sorely. But somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my subconcious, I believe my mind is perhaps finally at rest, for I feel better physically than I have in a long time. I miss him so much, it brings me to my knees, but I think my body is now finally at rest from all the worrying I did, for so long, even though I don't quite think it occured to me that I was worrying all the time. I just wanted to share this because I'm sure there are newbies out there who need some hope and good success stories. Don't get me wrong, this posting is not to say anything disrespectful about my friend. But I learned in Al-alon some time ago that when we worry about alcholics/addicts, we become "co-dependent" and I believe that this may be ONE of the reasons why I've felt so lousy for the past 8 years. I just hope you can see the goodness in my message here, that I'm passing along my personal experience to offer you a glimmer of hope that TMS is real and you CAN get well. I hope my symptoms stay away for a long time, forever. I will always worry, as it's my personality but maybe I've learned something from all this that I can keep working at it, if in the future I find myself in pain again like I always was.
Mary |
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Capn Spanky
112 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 14:19:21
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Mary,
Thanks much for sharing your story! I definitely see the "goodness" in your message. I have found often that what gets me are the emotions and thoughts that were repressed because I considered them to be unacceptable. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2008 : 22:45:26
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Hi Mary,
Good post, makes a lot of sense. Glad you are feeling better. Sorry for your loss.
Take care, -Stryder |
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Death of my best friend & proof of TMS
