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darlin
13 Posts |
 Posted - 05/12/2008 : 18:15:58
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| Feeling very overwhelmed. Like so bad to the point I am feeling debilitated. Having a hard time getting any one thing done becuase I don't know where to start. And once I do start, i am constanlty interupted by something else. It leaves me feeling like crap. Everyday I go home from the office I feel like it's never enough. Then I am forced to face my house... which has not felt in order since my boyfriend moved in a little over a month ago. My desk feels a mess, my house feels a mess, and my life feels all out of wack. Feeling guilty for not being able to focus, for my work piling up, and for not having the energy when I get home to work on my house. Any suggestions from anyone that has felt like this? How do I let it go? I feel anxious and miserable and unproductive....Help! |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 05/12/2008 : 21:57:17
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When I feel like this, often I'm a little depressed. I find that feeling depressed and feeling overwhelmed/unproductive somehow go hand-in-hand. Not sure why that is....
So I let myself wallow in it for maybe a day or two, as long as it doesn't affect the people around me too much. I indulge myself a litle bit, and then I kick myself in the ass and say "Enough!"
You say that it's worse since your boyfriend moved in. That's probably because you're not used to having him and his stuff around. Have you set up ground rules for your house? Like...if he sees dishes in the sink, HE should wash them, it doesn't have to always be you washing them....stuff like that?
For me it got worse when I had my kids. Things never stayed where I put them anymore. The house was always messed up. It's all about CONTROL. You don't have the type of control over your environment that you would like to. And for us TMS people, control is a HUGE issue. I literally can't think straight if there is too much stuff piled up around me. I'm not a neat freak by any means, but when it gets to "a certain point" it sort-of engulfs me and interferes with my ability to think. Weird but true. Maybe you're the same way?
Well after I allow myself to feel depressed and overwhelmed for a few days, I FORCE myself to get things done. Little by little. I mean...OK, just put the newspapers into recycling. Then just clean off the kitchen table. Now do those dishes. Before I know it, the kitchen is clean. Momentum builds. I find myself more motivated to do other stuff, to clean it all up. I start to feel better about things.
If there is a LOT to do, then make lists. Make a list for every room in your life. What do you need to do in the kitchen, the living area, the bedroom, the office? If you're a very busy person, give yourself 15 minutes to accomplish one task on your list. You'd be surprised how much you can do in 15 minutes when you concentrate on only that one thing.
Regarding the interruptions....are they phone calls or people? Is there a way to prevent them from interrupting you? Do you have any control over that?
And, for the record I want to add that when I'm PMS I often tend to feel overwhelmed and emotionally "out of whack." I tell myself that it's just hormones and it will go away soon....and it does, a few days after I get my period.
One more thing...try to get a good amount of sleep every night. Being rested really helps your mental state. I find that in general I feel much better when I get 7 to 8 hours of sleep.
Sorry if I rambled a bit...I hope I was able to help! |
Edited by - positivevibes on 05/12/2008 22:05:29 |
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darlin
13 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 00:04:43
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Thank you so much! You totally read my brain and confirmed so many of the thoughts in my head today. Please do NOT appologize for rambling. You made me tear.. your intuitiveness was right on.
Here was the best tip...
If there is a LOT to do, then make lists. Make a list for every room in your life. What do you need to do in the kitchen, the living area, the bedroom, the office? If you're a very busy person, give yourself 15 minutes to accomplish one task on your list. You'd be surprised how much you can do in 15 minutes when you concentrate on only that one thing.
I have been making lists since I could hold a pen and paper. And. in fact was thinking about doing the same thing tonight as I began to get a little "Momentem". What I had never thought about was really enfocing a 15 minute deadline. Can't wait to use it.
Thanks SO much!
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 00:25:58
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| Hey Darlin - I hear ya on the overwhelm stuff. Getting the house in order can feel like a big job too. You might like the FlyLady. Google her and consider signing up for her free site. She'll send you emails with babysteps like the idea you liked above so that you can get your house together one little thing at a time - starting with shining your sink! |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 08:55:18
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I can testify to the whole "lots of sleep" thing. I always knew that not sleeping enough made me tired, but I didn't realize until a particularly bad week recently that it also made me less able to surf the daily irritations of life, leaving me feeling much more stressed and overwhelmed. It's Really Hard sometimes to make time for sleep. I'm still not doing so well at it, but I'm trying.
In general, try to give yourself a break. I've been getting in the habit of asking myself (if I feel overwhelmed) "Does it really matter whether I do this/fix this/clean this/cook a full meal Right Now?" I prefer a clean house (to the point of being a little obsessive about it sometimes) but I'm learning to let things go to some extent and say "Ok, well, it's fine if I do that tomorrow, or next week." There's nothing wrong with feeling tired and crappy when you go home, especially if you're also in pain and doing TMS work. TMS work requires a lot of your resources, so other things might need to wait for a while.
Can your boyfriend help with the house? It sounds like you are taking it all on yourself and it should be a shared responsibility.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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darlin
13 Posts |
Posted - 06/03/2008 : 14:09:59
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I just wanted to say thanks so much to all of you who read and responded to my posts. I am feeling better than I have in over a year now. Everything you have shared has helped. I have written, cried, slept, and over all taken a few deep breaths and slown down. I was finally reffered to a pain specialist who gave me a muscle relaxer to take at night. He was thinking i may have some arthritis but I am not so sure because I am so much better recently. People have even started to notice around me how calm I am lately. Sleep, Read, Write, and Breathe. All of these things have helped with my anxious tendencies causing TMS. So thanks! This WORKS!! YAHOO!!  |
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Anxious and It's never enough.....
