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jtcl99
4 Posts |
 Posted - 05/07/2008 : 17:28:51
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Edited by - jtcl99 on 04/15/2014 08:36:29 |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 02:59:35
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I'm also fighting with replases. I'm at war with myself right now. I discovered Sarno's books a few months ago and it has helped me tremendously. But it's still not easy.
You were not selfish by wanting to play golf. You were trying to live a normal life and do things that you enjoy. You may have had a setback, but logic will tell you that your back will be OK again soon. Please don't feel guilty about wanting to be aggressive on the golf course.
Your back probably "locked up" because the muscles weren't used to the higher level of activity. Your muscles will calm down again in a few days or within a week. I think the important thing is NOT to stop playing golf because of this. When your muscles ease up, get back on the golf course. Don't let this become a TMS trigger for you. Yell at your brain. Tell your brain that you won't stand for this sort of behavior -- that you enjoy playing golf and you'll damned well play if it makes you happy.
You should also think about what other anxieties and issues are going on in your life right now. Is your brain using your back as an excuse to avoid these issues?
Also, try keeping an ongoing journal of your feelings. I've just started doing this and I find it very helpful.
I won't say more than that, because I have my own issues with fears and frustrations and other people on this board can tell you better than I can. But I wanted to at least tell you not to beat yourself up for wanting to live a normal life and enjoy normal happy activities. Remember what Sarno says: There is nothing wrong with your back! |
Edited by - positivevibes on 05/08/2008 03:05:41 |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 05:49:57
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quote:
Originally posted by jtcl99
(I’m an avid golfer).
I am a classic people pleaser
I feel like a real jerk because I am seriously affecting my wife and child because of my selfish desire to go play golf.
all I really want to do is take a pain killer
I wanted to get it all out.
First off, I'd take the painkiller . Got any more? I can e-mail you my address. (But seriously folks, ba-da-thunk)
Really. Take it.
The reason your back hurts is intimately tied in with that guilt about your 'selfish desire' to play golf. Without getting into any moral or ethical mumbo-jumbo, the fact that your brain is conditioned as such means you need to do a review of the book. Maybe grab a hi-liter pen. You seem stuck in the 'tyranny of the should' and have a concrete 'moral imperative'
setbacks are normal. So is the guilt. However, you need to get to a point where you can understand that RAGE about the perceived SELFISHNESS in golfing has more to do with your back pain than any golf swing. The golf swing was only a trigger. The rage is invisible and unless you're unusually different than the rest of us is probably invisible in a lot of other parts of your life as well.
Eat the painkiller...read the book. Try to find a deeper understanding. It's like an onion. It always has a deeper shell...and they all stink...we have a natural aversion to looking around at what's down there and a natural compulsion to blame ourselves for anything less than Christ-like consideration of our wives, family , children.
you'll get it. |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 05/08/2008 05:50:46 |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 05:55:10
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quote:
Originally posted by jtcl99
I first had a lower back “episode” 6 years ago
what were you going thru in 2002 in your life?
quote:
Originally posted by jtcl99
I feel like a real jerk because I am seriously affecting my wife and child beucase of my selfish desire to go play golf.
this smells like you have rage against your father because inside you feel he selfishly neglected you and you don't want to be that way to your family to the point of perfection. Perhaps you need to feel your'e the perfect dad in order to get back at him. Like he'll see how you handle your family and he'll feel guilty he did'nt raise you that way.
If you do something for yourself your'e then in conflict w/ this.
quote:
Originally posted by jtcl99
PS - sorry for the long story but, I wanted to get it all out
you did something for yourself again (getting this all out) and you feel guilty for it and feel the need to apologize.
Just my first observations.  |
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jtcl99
4 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 07:06:32
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Thank you all very much for taking the time to respond and for your advice.
I know we are supposed to think physcological and not physical but looking back at my episode this past Saturday, I think my muscles and partly my brain were just not ready. I will go back to golf but just ease in a little more next time.
It's been 5 days since that episode and I am a lot better. This morning, I picked up my daugther, brought her upstairs and changed her. Before reading Healing Back Pain it would have taken me 2-3 months to get to that point, rather than 5 days!
Thanks again.
John
btw - I loved the quote from Baseball
"we have a natural compulsion to blame ourselves for anything less than Christ-like consideration of our wives, family , children." |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 05/08/2008 : 15:40:23
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The "natural compulsion to blame ourselves" is not natural. That's one of Sarno's points. It's culturally/socially conditioned, both by the larger society and by our closer community -- family and friends. The more our culture conditions us to do this, the more TMS there is.
I don't know what our natural state is, but blaming ourselves for anything less than obliterating ourselves in pursuit of goodness is not it.
There is a happy medium of a balance between what you need and what your obligations to others are! It is OK for you to need things. It is human to need things.
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2008 : 20:47:27
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quote:
we have a natural aversion to looking around at what's down there and a natural compulsion to blame ourselves
Whew, thanks for that Bb65 -
I was sitting feeling miserable after feeling down and depressed for the last 3 days and read that quote- it gave me a real light bulb moment.
Blaming myself for my depression - low self esteem, lack of confidence, think I am too self absorbed - meant that it was impossible to drag myself out of it (how can you escape from yourself?) - but if I'm more reasonable and accept that the fact we've moved house 6 times over the last few years, that I'm not a great mixer (but can be happy enough mooching about on my own) etc etc etc life can go on (not the best time of my life but OK) and meanwhile the depression will drift off of its own accord. (Hopefully!)
Thanks BB |
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TMS
