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MRosenthal
USA
30 Posts |
 Posted - 12/08/2004 : 10:48:45
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| What really works? I know it is probably different for each person, but what is it you really have to figure out. I accept the TMS concept, but I have so many different things that bother me. I have made lists that are so long and that has not helped me. I have heard people say, when the pain comes, I know that something is just bothering me. Well if the pain is coming from things you are unaware of, then how is work stress, or family stress, or traffic really the problem. Also, remembering issues of the past does not really make a difference because the anger is still there. I don't know how to really convince the mind that it does not need to give me pain anymore. So what is this work that must be done in order to get rid of the pain? |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 12/08/2004 : 12:16:27
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Matt, what is it that you would rather be doing than sitting around dealing with your pain? The work is not letting TMS pain blur your mind from having a life. Perhaps you don't really like the career path you have chosen or was chosen for you by others. The pain keeps you from dealing head-on with issues that seem overwhelming.
You've made lists of the things that bother you. Make a list of the things you would like to do and start doing them and you will feel better. |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 12/09/2004 : 08:57:00
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Good advice Tennis Tom, I do think that TMS functions as a seemingly legitimate reason to avoid risk (even risk with a potentially enormous positive results, like following a dream) or as a way to compensate for our perfectionism (I could have done x,y and z perfectly if I weren't in so much pain.)
Thinking about what one wants to do is always a good thing but there are always things one has to do, or had to do, that continually cause anger which, if unexpressed or unexperienced, festers into rage. For me, the key to getting better was learning that anger is a kinetic emotion, it can't be talked or written out, it literally must be worked out, phsyically. I didn't get 100% better until I started doing the anger release exercises John Lee recommends in Facing the Fire.
I actually had a psych. therapist give me similar advice, months before I bought the book. I kept insisting that there must be some completely repressed trauma that was keeping me from completely conquering TMS and she kept gently pushing me to get a punching bag and to work on behavioral models for dealing with confrontation. I quit seeing her in frustration that she wasn't following a Freudian model of analysis, but I later had to admit she'd been right all along. Which is not to say that sifting through my past didn't help, it's just that at some point I had to start getting all that anger out. It's like poison.
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donnroc
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2004 : 22:08:05
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| So Logan are you saying journaling does'nt work for you and that the most success you've had is literally working or beating it out physically? |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2004 : 07:17:51
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Hi Donroc
What I think Logan is saying is that for the last portion of his recovery he had to convert the repressed anger/rage into physical activity.
I got the same idea from the portion of the book where he says you have to confront all the conditioning and return to your pre-incident activity level,so I spent my days reading,writing,excercising(weights and bicycles..not PT) and playing Baseball.
I would go to the batting cages and pretend the ball was vrious peoples HEAD! (business associates,bosses,Dr.s etc.)
Now from reading this and other posts by Logan and others,I wonder if I would have had such a fast recovery if I merely read and journaled......I remember some of my greatest exhilarations coming on the bike,at the cages,in the weight pit.
After sitting around doing wimpy "PT" excercise and "carefully" for all those sessions,it was nice to let it rip
Baseball65 |
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donnroc
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2004 : 17:20:44
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Thanks Baseball,
I can understand the burning off the negative emotions with physical work once they are up from the subconcious and brought into the open.
Before I did any journaling or thinking specifically about the cause of my pain,I would use the punching bag,but to no avail.I would work up a sweat and get some oxygen moving but the effects where short lived. I recently purchased Dr. Brady"s program and I'm working with his journaling suggestions.I like the idea of the physical element you guys are talking about.
Literally beating up and out, the anger that does come up. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2004 : 17:40:23
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Hi Donroc.
When you hit the punching bag,are you visualizing a specific person or just trying to burn it off in general?
I never had a punching bag,but If I did,I would have talked to it while I was punching it like: "Hi Boss (slAM)...I really liked that smart-ass comment you made to me the other day (WHAM)...I really liked the snide remark about me leaving early to pick up my kid(wham)...Too bad I'm not the owners son (blAM) and can come and go as I please(wham).....oh,by the way (KicK) did you know that the tile guy is having an affair with your old lady?(punch)....I would have told you about it(Zap),but I like the tile guy...(punch) he's not a jerk like you(boff)... and at least your wife's finally happy(crunch)!!"
That's sort of a modified Gestalt therapy.
I still use it almost daily when I'm working.Right now I am WORKING for a guy who I was supposed to be a PARTNER with....I'm smarter,more aggressive at pursuing contracts,do better work,and stick with jobs longer than him(he can't finish anything)..yet I have to listen to his crap.
If I wasn't screaming my head off for ohh....15 minutes solid on the way home calling him every nasty name I can think of and explaining in exact detail what a MORON I think he is,I would probably be having a symptom right now.
However,I come home in a much better frame of mine having shouted out all the demons.
I'm such a sick pup,I actually look forward to it everyday.
It's also beneficial in that,when the times arise where we do come in conflict,I've already heard my most childest worst thoughts,and usually deal with the real problems better.
let 'er rip
marc
Baseball65 |
Edited by - Baseball65 on 12/11/2004 17:41:53 |
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donnroc
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2004 : 16:44:47
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| Thanks Baseball, I actually have visualized the ^**/##*&^when punching.It diffenitly feels good.It has never been in and of itself the "healer". I'm really starting to get the picture how importantant is is to fill in with the good things.Once the anger is up and on it's way out I believe it's very important to start visualizing how I want it to be,rather then continually searching for the next emotion that could have been the "trigger" This gets back to Sarnos "Pain/Pleasure principle.The more joy that is felt the less pain. Thanks for all your contributions. |
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menvert
Australia
133 Posts |
Posted - 12/12/2004 : 19:34:56
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I can't say that journaling has really helped me much...
for one being journaling itself is a physical trigger... handwriting having been a trigger for RSI pain. For me it is easier just to be generally aware of my emotions all day long, and whenever I get pain . I immediately think okay, what happened in the recent hours emotionally....
Basically, I have come to think of resolving TMS pain as learning a skill.
It takes practice, but eventually, you get it. After much practice, I have now learnt the skill that when I feel pain I do not think about what physically caused it.
But I do think about what happened emotionally, which would have triggered the pain...
I have come to know many specific emotional triggers, which cause me pain such as, situations making me impatient, situations where I forced myself to keep working . when I want the rest, but I make myself do it NOW, awkwardness in a social situation when I want to leave but don't know how to speak up and just say I'm leaving so I spend half an hour procrastinating and what do you know my arms start producing pain.... this incident has been repeated many times. And I am building up a good list of emotional incidets, which triggers pain
But now I have learnt the skill . I can simply realise 'oh I am getting this pain because of the emotional trigger of wanting to leave the situation, but not knowing how to cleanly exit'
The realisation is enough for me to stop thinking about the pain and for it to go away in a few minutes.
If the pain lingers then I usually try to find something engrossing to act as an alternative, but non painful distraction. Although this distraction technique works, I understand it's not a permanent solution, but it helps me develop the skill of not dwelling on/fearing pain
That is how it works for me, maybe it will work like that for you too?
also http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=407 I think this thread is very very helpful and insightful also (thanks monte) when it comes to actually trying to not-repress current emotions. |
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The Work
