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pmazzdog
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - 03/29/2008 : 20:53:29
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Hello,
I am new to the forum. A brief history. At age 20 had tremendous back and calf pain. Saw 21 different docs and had PT, chiro, nerve blocks, MRIS, EMG's, Myleograms and all came back normal. finally calf atrophied and neurosurgeon opened me up and removed a synovial cyst which was anterior and against my nerve. Still in agony 12 months post surgery I bought Sarno book and got angry at my subconscious and excercised like a madman and was pain free for 17 years.
Fast forward I was pulling stumps and felt the back twinge. For some reason I immediately feared the calf pain i had 17 years ago since it wrecked my college years and I could not even have shower water touch my calf and behind my knee due to pain. I wonder if I still had some type of neuro pathways that was remembered.
Went to dr. and had MRI which was normal. PT did not work. Chiro did not work. Gained 35 pounds...used to be a boxer and in shape until 4 years ago. Pilates hurt bad. I have spent about 5g's on massages which provide a little relief. Did rolfing. Was told i have forward tilted pelvis which strains everything. I have a power build. Every person who saw me said i was the tighest person they had ever worked on. Specifically glutes, medius, minimus specifically. Psoas pain in low abdomin and sometimes testicle. IT band (never knew what it was) hurt like a mother. After a few days i was tipped forward and then my back would kill...Always had the calf pain. However after rereading Sarno I have about 23 (1-3 pain level days) and 7 (5-9 level days).....A complete reversal. I feel real good and then go full tilt at the gym and then am hurt for a few days and then I start to scour the internet for physical problems like pseudo-sciatica etc.
Funny thing was when i first felt relief my neck started to kill me. Then when it felt better I got GERD again and palpatations. Now that I have the back and leg pain no other symptoms.
Upon reflection this is my history.
Mother is alcoholic who I dreaded finding dead when i came home. Finally moved to Florida but she did collapse and I nursed her back to health for 4.5 months. I have tremendous anger towards her and my father who kind of always told me it was up to me to care for her. My brther and sister got off scott free although they live near her.
I am a perfectionist and people pleaser. I am a successful businessman who is extremely hard on himself and can never relax.
Here is what I have suffered from:
before back pain in high school
dizziness
anxiety attacks
back pain and then surgery
post surgery
chest pain
palpatations
neck pain
tinitus
GERD
IBS
2nd bout of back pain all of these except tinitus disappeared except I am always anxious and ignore the palpatations....
Sorry to write a novel. it got away from me. I think I am a classic TMS case. Any input would be appreciated.
Paul |
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pmazzdog
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2008 : 20:56:16
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| Sorry. I also forgot to mention I had sold my company of 26 employees in 2001 and took my first corporate job at a pharmaceutical company and was miserable. Soon after the incident happened. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 10:11:40
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quote:
Originally posted by pmazzdog
Sorry. I also forgot to mention I had sold my company of 26 employees in 2001 and took my first corporate job at a pharmaceutical company and was miserable. Soon after the incident happened.
Instead of being an afterthought this should be the main thought.
There must be so many repressed emotions associated with this life event that have remained unexplored. For example, maybe the inner child is in a rage that you are no longer the "top dog" and no longer getting the respect and admiration you deserve. Are/were any of these employees unhappy with the company's sale? Perhaps there is a part of you that feels guilty for letting them down.
Rather than focus on the symptoms, focus on psychological triggers that may be responsible for them. |
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AmyAJJ
98 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 10:51:12
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quote:
Sorry to write a novel. it got away from me. I think I am a classic TMS case. Any input would be appreciated.
Paul
Paul - I agree that you sound like a classic TMS case.
I also think that what Dave suggested about looking more closely at the psychological stuff around selling your company sounds like a good idea. That reminder was good for my own situation too. Thanks Dave.
I'd also like to hear from anyone about your question from the title of your post: is Dr. Schubiner's course worth it? What has been anyone's experience with the online version?
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Edited by - AmyAJJ on 03/30/2008 10:52:09 |
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Pd245
58 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 11:24:17
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I'm on the first week of Dr. Schubiner's online class, and I'm very impressed with how organized and thorough it is. He's created a very structured way to explore all of the issues that Sarno says contributes to TMS - personality, current stressors, past stressors, etc. He gives journaling exercises, mindfulness meditation exercises (very important), ways to deal with your triggers, how to talk back to your brain, things like that. I never got better reading the Sarno books and felt a little lost with how to structure my healing, so this is really helpful so far. I also found his TMS lectures to be more detailed and relevant to my issues (neck pain and headaches), he also cites other research that I hadn't heard before, so the information feels really fresh.
I'm experiencing the symptom imperative a bit so I know it's doing something. THe most dramatic thing that's happening is that my dreams have become very vivid and detailed.
I'm also the child of an alcoholic and can relate to trying to keep your parent alive (as well as yourself). There's a lot of darkness in that and its good to face that darkness. I also hated my mother for putting me in that position as a child and that anger feels endless. But writing about traumatic events is so important to healing, I think. So, you could very well benefit from his class.
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sensei adam rostocki
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 13:26:15
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Hi Paul, I always thought you were already on here. If I had known you did not post here yet, I would have suggested it to you long ago. I think you will find a lot of additonal support on this board. Best, Sensei Adam Rostocki
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
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pmazzdog
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 15:23:57
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Sale of business was received well by all employees. Each one received a bonus (substantial) and most stayed on. In fact I had a 95% retention rate. I had started the company from scratch and I was made a nice offer from the CEO of a large casino. I was burnt out and ready to move on.
It has nothing to do with being a Top Dog. In fact at BIG PHARMA I took over a territory ranked #509 of #513 and within a year I was #13 in the country and #1 in the Northeast. I love to sell and create and Pharma sales is more or less none of that. It is very structured and detailed. I was offered promotions but it was not entrepreneurial enough for me.
These are great thoughts however and it has to do with my feeling disempowered in the position more than anything. I must be passionate to succeed.
I did buy the course last night and immersed myself in it and lo and behold this morning I did 90 minutes on the ellipical and zero leg pain. I have had success with Sarno, but when I get hit with a relapse I kind of lose faith and start the whole it must be physical thing again.
Adam/Sensei has been helpful to me over the last 4 months in getting me mostly out of pain. He is awesome.
I am very glad to have found this site. I have to admit I was very exhausted. I also have uncovered some deep anger issues I have with my parents that i have always swallowed. I am a typical middle child and have been the buffer for peace/happiness in my family.
Anyways, thanks for all the responses and I am sure to see you on here.
My ultimate goal is to get back into fighting shape......and actually fight again...... |
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pmazzdog
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 03/30/2008 : 15:29:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Dave
quote:
Originally posted by pmazzdog
Sorry. I also forgot to mention I had sold my company of 26 employees in 2001 and took my first corporate job at a pharmaceutical company and was miserable. Soon after the incident happened.
Instead of being an afterthought this should be the main thought.
There must be so many repressed emotions associated with this life event that have remained unexplored. For example, maybe the inner child is in a rage that you are no longer the "top dog" and no longer getting the respect and admiration you deserve. Are/were any of these employees unhappy with the company's sale? Perhaps there is a part of you that feels guilty for letting them down.
Rather than focus on the symptoms, focus on psychological triggers that may be responsible for them.
Hi Dave...
The funny thing was as a self-employed person you get zero accolades for being TOP DOG. In fact I received TOO MANY ACCOLADES in the corporate world that made me laugh. When you have always been self-employed you must create your pay, but in BIG PHARMA there is not the same work ethic. So myself at 50% was probably more productive than many others. (not trying to pat myself on the back but that work ethic was all I knew).
In Pharma do a good job....get an award.....excel....get a trip.....
I have more useless awards for doing what i was supposed to do.
I would have to say they gave me a ton of respect and admiration. Within a year I was the sales trainer for the whole northeast as well.
It just did not appeal to my sense of entrepreneurialism (real word? LOL)
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sagelady
USA
61 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2008 : 16:19:29
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pmazzdog,
Re: your topic title... IS Dr. Schubiners course worth it. Personally I think the $250 investment is paying off well. I had alot of the symptoms you spoke of. I completed the 4 week course last week. Still doing the work faithfully, daily though. As I am not 100%, but at this rate will be very soon. The psoa muscle IT band, periformis syndrome and sciatica are all significantly better. If I had to give it a % I'd say 80%. Some days 100%. My most bothersome symptom was the numb little toes and heel. My toe numbness has been 95% gone for over a week now. Still some heel numbness hanging on.
I went through all the treatments you did, and then some. With no relief for the last 9 months. In the last 4 weeks i have improved drastically. That should speak for the program ( anyones, Sarnos, Schubiner, brady's)) TMS program. It does work. But it isn't easy. It's 100% committment.
Now that the symptoms are subsiding, I've had an increase in anxiety apon awakening, and a flair up of IBS. Symptom impairative/ substitution I would venture to guess. Just means I have more work to do.
I did mention this on Dr. Schubiners website forum. Just to get some feed back from others that have gone through or are currently going through the program. The reply I got was from Dr. Schubiner. With some insight on how to do my affirmations before bed. That is when the subconscious has the upper hand.
Point being, you do get hand holding from the Dr. himself as you work through the program. He is very prompt with his replies.
Good luck with whatever avenue you take. Just take heart there is a cure. And its within our grasp. Whatever route you choose, give it your full attention, this is key.
Oh, I also might mention I found Scott Bradys book "pain free for life" very helpful. It's based on Dr. Sarnos work with a little different twist.
Sage |
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pmazzdog
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2008 : 17:37:13
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AWESOME!!!
I bought it 2 days ago and feel tremendous!!! I cured myself in 1988 with Sarno's book and getting angry with my subconscius. Very cavemanlike but it worked, but it manifested itself in IBS, GERD, anxiety attacks, tinitus.......But I never connected the dots until now.
It is funny that the pain or symptoms move. I am now having a stiff neck. Also the pain moves now where it was always in the gluteal, IT band, QL, Psoas, hammy and calf...with an occasional numb heel.
It is also funny that they can put a structural diagnosis on it also. A muscle imbalance called Syndrome X. Did i just wake up imblanced? I imagine every person has imbalances but are not in excrutiating pain. That was the hardest for me to let go of. The structural diagnosis.
I have been able to HEAL myself for weeks at a time, but I snap back and freak out and start my search. This program will be good for me because I realize I am a bubbling cauldron that I have put a lid on for my entire life. I was a rugged guy...(USMC OCS, Competitive Boxer, Successful Biz Guy)...very funny and good natured....also stoic with pain and upset......But the fact is below the surface I felt like a duck (legs paddling 100 MPH) even though I appeared tranquil and confident. I have to say my self-esteem has dropped and my confidence as well. I look forward to completing this course. As of now 2 days and a 1 on a scale of 1-10......Did 90 minutes on the elliptical 2 days in a row......
Thanks SageLady.....good to know there are more of "us" out there |
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sagelady
USA
61 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2008 : 02:57:34
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pmazzdog... congrats on your early success with ridding yourself of pain. WOW , 2 days and your already on the trainer!! That's fantastic.
But remember, even though the pain is lifting, there is still emotional work to do. So keep at it. You are a success in the making.
Kepp us updated on your progress.
Sage |
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sagelady
USA
61 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 10:05:18
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I'm doing pretty good, thanks for ask'in. Not 100% yet, but sooo much better.
Have even had some increased stresses in my life, without increase in symptoms.
Oh, I also found an unfortunate way to prove it's psychological, not physical. I was diagnosied with herniated disc, sciatica etc.. Told to be very careful with my back. Any strenuous activity could flair it. Well I was helping with a demonstration on an air mattress at work. The thing slid off the bed and on to the floor with me on it. I got very scared that symptoms would return. They didn't.
I continue to do Dr. Schubiners work along with Bradys book. I agree the spiritual aspect is important to me too. Incorperating that into the jourrnally and self talk is helpful.
I did Dr. Schubiners class in person. But use the online version to keep it fresh. Also the forum as a sounding board is great. Eps. since the good Dr. answers them himself with helpful tips for the issues at hand.
keep up the work, we will rise from the ashes,
Sage |
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Pd245
58 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 13:01:24
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| I'm in week three of the course, and am finding it helpful in terms of learning more about myself and my issues, but I am not seeing any improvements. I'm going to keep plugging away though. My pain issues really come up when I'm on the computer, so I've been off of it for several weeks. I have a feeling, though, that I'll need to figure out how to decondition myself so that I don't get pain and cramps in my shoulders and neck the minute I get behind the computer. THe SArno stuff hasn't helped that at all so far. |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 14:53:03
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Try not to get upset at yourself if conditioned reactions persist. The key is to understand and believe that they are benign and are there because a vicious cycle was established at some point in your life. Instead of hoping that they aren't going to be there, and then yelling at your brain when they are, and finally getting frustrated at your lack of success with the method, I think it is more beneficial to just be INDIFFERENT to the pain (if possible). Accept that it will take some time to decondition yourself, but the pain will eventually go away. DO NOT ALLOW IT TO CONTINUE TO DISTRACT YOU!!! I find that TMS manifestations only disappear when: (1) one truly believes that they are due to TMS; AND (2) one seizes to allow the TMS to distract them anymore. Pay it no attention (I know this can be difficult) and you may soon be surprised to find that your pain has vanished.
Best,
MK |
Edited by - mk6283 on 04/25/2008 16:01:08 |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 17:31:42
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Anyone who accepts medical advice over the internet from a doctor who has not seen and examined them is a moron! Anyone who accepts medical advice over the internet from someone who is NOT even a doctor (ME!) is an even bigger moron! Go see a doctor as soon as you can. That all being said, you very well may still have TMS, but you need to have some sort of medical diagnosis first before concluding that.
Best,
MK |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 19:44:10
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Haha I was only kidding around, I hope you didn't take me too seriously. Anyway, it is important that people realize that TMS is a diagnosis of exclusion only AFTER more serious etiologies are excluded by a physician first. All we need in the world of TMS is someone with a "real medical problem" deferring medical treatment because "my pain was psychosomatic." As if we don't have enough challenges already.
I would just go to my primary care doctor. If he/she diagnoses some standard orthopedic diagnosis, then you MAY defer seeing the orthopedist (or rheumatologist) if it is more likely due to TMS (you can consult us at that point). You just want to make sure you aren't missing any vascular or neurologic problem. Your PMD can probably make that distinction for you. Good luck.
Best,
MK |
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mk6283
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 04/30/2008 : 02:46:41
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I have to be honest, I'm not sure I understand what you are trying to say. I just read your post twice and I still can't figure it out. It may just be me or the fact that it's nearly 5 AM and my brain usually stops working around 3 AM. Anyway, if you are angry with me (again I'm not sure if you are or why you are), then I offer my sincere apology if I offended you in any way. I simply responded the way I did because your description of the situation caught my attention.
You said, "I can hardly walk from the pain and swelling." SWELLING is not a typical sign/description of TMS. Swelling usually implies inflammation (and/or infection), which is not a classic feature of TMS. TMS musculoskeletal pain is actually, in my experience, rarely ever truly inflammatory in nature. If it were, then there would be a greater role for aspirin, NSAIDs, and/or steroids in this condition.
RSD is the only condition that readily comes to mind at the moment that can present with swelling and still possibly be TMS. In addition, whereas pain is a subjective sensation that is conveyed in the patient's history, swelling is an objective feature that MUST be assessed via physical examination.
As I mentioned before, you may still have TMS, but I thought it was definitely appropriate to first rule out other potential causes that might easily be treatable by conventional methods. Once again, I'm sorry if I offended you. It's sleeeeeepy time. Good luck.
Best,
MK |
Edited by - mk6283 on 04/30/2008 11:48:06 |
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Is Dr. Schubiners Course Worth It?
