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Sarij8
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 Posted - 03/03/2008 : 20:16:18
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Hi, I'm hoping to find some help with this forum. I have read two of Dr. Sarno's books in the last few days and am convinced my husband has TMS. His personality type is right on with the typical sufferer and we have had a great deal of stress personally, financially, and involving his career in the past two years. He refuses to read the books and thinks it is crazy that it could be rooted in his mind. I am frustrated as I think any spouse would be to see their loved one in pain, to have what they think is the solution, and to be faced with such resistance. He is trying to find a new job so we can move and start fresh, a task that is made very difficult when he is not sleeping much due to back pain. It is imperative that this pain ends (isn't it always?) and his stubborn refusal is making me crazy. He'd rather blame it on a car accident (that he had been pain free from for two years before this started) and a bulging disc. He is very rational and scientifically minded, and because he is so dismissive he isn't able to see that SO IS DR. SARNO and SO IS TMS! I'm sure you guys have run into people like him who feel that it is a personal attack to suggest that it is something within them that is causing this pain...what suggestions do you have if any? It is my life too and I am so ready to move past this pain!!
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Sarij8
3 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2008 : 20:33:47
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| OK, I just found the post a while back by a woman in my position, only her husband would actually give it a chance by learning about it. So I read the responses to her post and suppose there is nothing I can do about it. If you have anything to add still, please do. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 03/04/2008 : 10:05:21
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HI! First we must accept life's pain that we cannot help those who are not open to the real healing--the emotional one.
I speak from experience as my dad has many TMS issues; he watched me go from totally incapacitated to back to work in 2 weeks after my Sarno diagnosis and treatment, but he refuses to see that he has emotions that need clearing/healing, etc. too. IT IS SO HARD TO WATCH as he goes from doc to doc, test to test. He has the narrowing of the spine, stenosis, and his back doc told him to READ THE DIVIDED MIND!!! He said he would not recommend surgery! But still, he goes for this test and that and spends his days complaining about pain here and there.
I do add my two cents here and there when I can't resist, but I have come to accept that I CAN ONLY HELP MYSELF. I hold the hope that he will see it some day. However, I have asked dad very gently sometimes to think about [whatever--that he just mentioned] being a source of emotional pain. He does sometimes say "yes, COULD be" but does nothing else with it.
Perhaps when you talk to your husband, open with how much you care about him and how this is affecting you too. Would he please just consider it or watch the video or . . . and that it would mean a lot to you if he would just listen to another opinion. Restate that you care how he feels too.
(Mention finding a new job is stressful . . .)
But of course you cannot force him to look at emotions as the source of pain.
-Lori |
Edited by - mizlorinj on 03/04/2008 10:08:00 |
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Unbelieving husband with TMS
