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sagelady
USA
61 Posts |
 Posted - 02/24/2008 : 12:50:31
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An update since my Dr. Schubiner visit last Wed.
Of course the numbness returned Thursday, somewhat. I tried yelling at my brain. Came up with a mantra. I think it helped keep it from increasing, as the numbness was not as severe.
Friday- not a good day. Numbness was moderate. Yelling at my brain didn't seem to help. But I also questioned my belief that MY issues where TMS. I totally believe in the theory, just questioned if this was my case. Started my journaling Friday night. Also emailed with response a fellow board member that has a handle on this TMS "stuff". Couldn't quite figure out how to tell the subconscious that I believe. Even though consciously I DO believe. But without that 100% belief, I couldn't start healing.
He gave me some priceless tips. To gather evidence against any structural beliefs. Make a diary for the day of when the numbness starts, and what I am doing. When it jumps from foot to foot, heal to toe. When it goes away etc.. you get the idea.Then by looking back I sould see how ridiculous it seems, and how structurely it couldn't move around like that. Heal in seconds, to return somewhere else.
Saturday, I went about my daily routine. Not dwelling on the symptoms, not "babying" my back. Cleaned house all day. Jotting down the numbness by the hour. The numbness over all was very little. but what was there did it's usual dance from little toe, to little toe. To no toes but one heel. It changed over 30 TIMES !! And as the day when on, and I ignored the numbness ( other than to quickly write down its location) it got less.
This morning Sunday, only been up a couple of hours, but numbness is minimal. And my belief this is not structural is stronger. So hopefully, no let me rephrase that, I have it on the run. And rather than yell at my brain. I told the inner child, it's ok. See we can do this. I will deal with your emotions, but you don't need to play this symptom schurade with me. We will work on this together, and you will be ok.
Sound strange I'm sure, but this is the tactic I'm going to try for today. I still worry it's going to come back with a vengance and that I will again question the diagnosis. but for now I will attempt this stratagy. I recieved an email from Dr. Schubiner, the workshop starts monday March 3rd.For 3 consecutive Mondays. I can't wait. I hope I have a jump on it, starting my work before the workshop.
Just wanted to update all. You have given me great insight and armour. The hand holding would be appreciated as I start this journey. So for those of you cured, or near cure, please post with suggestions and leadership. For those of you lurking, or not sure of the diagnosis. Watch my progress for hope and validation.
Sage |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2008 : 17:17:30
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Sage, instead of yelling at my brain, I choose to speak kindly to it. It's been years of learning how to have a nurturing inner voice crowd out the harsh inner voice.
I also think continuing to write down symptoms is paying way too much attention to them. You've done it, you've seen them move from place to place. You've been diagnosed with TMS. It does take a little while for the un/subconscious mind to grasp it.
Continue with your homework. Read pages 142-145 of The Divided Mind. Do your journaling. Begin to ignore the symptoms.
-Lori |
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sagelady
USA
61 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2008 : 17:54:28
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Lori-
I quickly learned yelling at my brain, only upset it. That inner child is as sensitive as the people pleasing adult I am. We now are on better terms, nurturing the inner child. As the inner child has taken enough bashing over the years. It needs to be comforted. I realized that much early on in this work, thank goodness.
As far as the dairy of symptoms, i don't plan on focusing on this long. But it did help to see on paper, how often these feelings change, and not based on physical activity. Reinforced that this was not structural. And that seems to be my weakness. Getting the subconscious to buy into this. But I believe the last 2 days ( this weekend) has been very insightful. I was home alone, and spent lots of time reflecting and talking to the inner self. ( good thing no one was home, they would remove all doubt that I was over the edge )
Funny you mentioned pages 142-145. I have my book mark there, and reread that section often. The first time I read it , it actually brought tears to my eyes. ( I know , what a sap)
Thanks for the reply and hand holding. As I mentioned, I will look forward to that in the coming weeks as I get stronger in my conviction, and closer to a cure.
Patty |
Edited by - sagelady on 02/24/2008 17:57:07 |
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Update as I start to appy what I know
