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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - 01/30/2008 : 10:01:44
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I am so frustrated and angry right now. I have been trying now for the past week and a half to make sure I eat healthy, starting back to exercise again, taking a whey supplement. ALL of these things should help my serotonin levels and help me feel more relaxed.
The pain is worse, I have body aches I never had, I have been having panic attacks again which I normally rarely have and I have felt shaky and have had trouble relaxing.
I drink a fruit, skim milk and whey smoothie and I have a panic attack. I exercise on the treadmill and I have a panic attack. This is rediculous.
Ok so I try to sit and tell myself these are distracting symptoms. Then I try to look see what I might need distracting from. Well I won't even get into how frustrating every single day is.
I'm thinking sometimes that I really wish I could just escape all the stress and situation at home and maybe that's exactly what my mind and body are trying to do but not in a way I can appreciate.
OH on another note my neck isn't hurting much right now. |
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weatherman
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 10:23:51
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It sounds like the symptoms are changing and moving around, which I would take as a GOOD sign. It must mean you have the TMS on the run, so it's trying to throw up new smokescreens.
Weatherman
"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 10:25:12
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I think you need to focus on the stress and situation at home and follow those emotions deep down and find the rage.
Conscious stress is just the tip of the iceberg. Deep down there is a child inside you in a blind rage that you are allowing yourself to be in this situation. You may not be able to do anything about it but you can explore why the child is so furious with you.
Ultimately, ignoring the symptoms needs to become a conditioned response. The more successful you are at ignoring the symptoms, the episodies will become fewer and shorter in duration. Hang in there and take a long term view and try not to get frustrated with lack of progress. That feeds the demon. If it senses it can win the battle, it ups the ante. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 13:05:54
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quote:
I have been trying now for the past week and a half to make sure I eat healthy, starting back to exercise again, taking a whey supplement. ALL of these things should help my serotonin levels and help me feel more relaxed.
But they probably piss off your inner child. I know mine likes to eat ice cream and pizza. :-)
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It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 20:46:18
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LOL armchair!
I love pizza too but don't eat the usual any more, I DID find an IMHO excellent recipe using eggs, crm cheese, cheese and spices for crust. I still feed the kid comfort stuffs  Just modified. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 20:59:11
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Hi pitn,
Go for a 30 drive in the car by yourself and scream at the top of your lungs. Curse out all those people / circumstances that make you angry.
Then stop for pizza !
Take care, -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 01/30/2008 20:59:42 |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 21:01:24
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Dave,
I think it is that deep down I feel angry that people can't be responsible for themselves and that they will pull others down if they can and I resent the fact that I have always had to be strong and responsible and take whatever is thrown at me or feel guilty.
That's what I have figured out so far but I suspect there's more to it or it in simpler terms.
I got mad today and got on the treadmill and exercised anyway and felt a little better after. I really wanted to run it fast as I could and long as I could but I thought better of it and got a little agression out at least. |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 21:08:15
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I agree wholeheartedly with Dave about learning to ignore your symptoms. You KNOW nothing is wrong. You KNOW its your own mind playing tricks on you, and you KNOW that you are the one who ultimately has control over your mind. Emotional exploration is secondary to being able to straight up face TMS for what it is, and put it aside as if it was nothing at all (which it is).
Author of tms-recovery.com
A collection of articles on emotions, lifestyle changes, and TMS theory. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/30/2008 : 23:55:58
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Stryder,
Times I need to do just that! |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2008 : 00:02:06
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Scott, Agreed. Going on with life instead of focusing on the anx and pain is the only way to A) not allow it to be a distraction and B) have any kind of normal life. It's going to take practice and maybe some bad days. Life is worth it though, I think.
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2008 : 01:30:56
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quote:
I think it is that deep down I feel angry that people can't be responsible for themselves
You can't force people to be responsible for themselves but you can stop feeling that you can/should fix it - it's their life if they choose to mess it up so be it.
I now realise that being on hand to 'help' or listen to others' problems only made the situation worse as it deterred the other from facing and dealing with the situation themselves. And being sympathetic only gave them an excuse to be a vicitm of, in their eyes, difficulties not of their making.
Perhaps you can relate to this PITN.
PS I am very angry that I have wasted hours/days/weeks of my time worrying over someone else's issues but have cured myself of this now (journalling etc)! |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2008 : 08:41:30
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quote:
Originally posted by painintheneck
Dave,
I think it is that deep down I feel angry that people can't be responsible for themselves and that they will pull others down if they can and I resent the fact that I have always had to be strong and responsible and take whatever is thrown at me or feel guilty.
The second part of this statement is on the right track. As far as anger towards other people, consider that it may be a smokescreen for anger towards yourself.
Just look at it a different way: the child is in a rage that you can't be like those other people. The child wants to be free from responsibility. The child is jealous of those people because they don't have the same pressure that you put on yourself to be so responsible.
Don't struggle to find "the" answer. Just explore these feelings and try to follow them wherever they lead. It may help to get some of that conscious anger out (when you are alone) by screaming or punching a pillow. Sometimes getting out the conscious anger can clear a path towards the deeper feelings, which often is not anger but sadness.
The important part is to spend the time thinking about this, especially when you are aware of the symptoms. Whether or not you make progress, it is part of the reconditioning process. |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2008 : 17:46:02
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quote:
the child is in a rage that you can't be like those other people. The child wants to be free from responsibility. The child is jealous of those people because they don't have the same pressure that you put on yourself to be so responsible.
Dead right.
Dave, thanks for reminding me of this. |
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painintheneck
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - 01/31/2008 : 23:53:39
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| Yeah Scotty Dave is right in that indeed. |
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the more "normal" I try the worse it gets
