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Sky
USA
96 Posts |
 Posted - 01/17/2008 : 17:20:43
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For those of you distracted by romantic feelings for people you may not be in a relationship with...
I'm a college student studying for myexam on the "Molecules of Life," and I came upon an interesting fact:
"low serotonin levels have been associated with depression, anorexia nervosa, bullimia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and 'infatuation.'"
Sarno opened my eyes to the ways in which various bodily maladies function as distractions from underlying emotions. He also claims that when his patients addressed emotional underpinnings of their chronic pain, he has seen eating disorders, depression, and OCD fade away as well.
Well, as someone in a serious monogamous relationship who is sometimes troubled by his feelings for other girls, I found it interesting that "infatuation" was listed among these other Sarno-like maladies. I wondered, by infatuation, did they really mean a romantic crush?
I looked up "infatuation" and it appears what is meant by that is exactly what we refer to when we talk of "crushes." Then I found this on a website:
"There are several types of "love". Infatuation - This state is a form of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). However, falling-in-love is a socially acceptable OCD."
My impressions and guesses relating to this: the "distractions" we most often have, especially when we have lots of work to do, such as thoughts or acts relating to sex, food, TV...well, I think our brain runs to them when our serotonin levels are down.
How do our serotonin levels fall? Improper processing of emotions and experiences. Throughout our days, many of us face painful thoughts (such as "I'm not as good/smart/sexy/knowledgable/prepared/whatever as I think I SHOULD be"), and when we recognize we aren't what we tell ourselves we should be, it hurts. The emotional hurt is reflected by an actual drop in our serotonin levels.
It now makes a lot of sense to me that "Infatuation" is just one form of distraction that becomes manifest when serotonin levels are low.
This make sense to you? I find this really interesting... |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2008 : 18:17:19
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I think a lot of things can contribute to this.
-Low seritonin levels
-Fluctuating hormonal levels
-Thyroid or endocrine problems
-Life crises - escapism
But I agree that infatuations with people you don't know (such as movie stars or singers)are distraction and substitution and escapism. I think that a little fantasy can be healthy, but if you find yourself at your favorite movie star's website too often, you are having an obsessive compulsive problem.
I speak from experience. I've had these crushes on and off since I was a kid. Yes, a kid. My first crush was on Paul McCartney. It was a way to escape from a very unhappy situation at home. I would go into my own little private world after school, dreaming that Paul would come and sweep me away and we'd write music toghether (I played guitar). It helped me get through some hard times. I didn't develop any other crushes like that until I was an adult faced again with some unpleasant feelings I didn't want to deal with. I have decided not to do that anymore. My latest crush faded away about a year ago. Ironically, that's when I began having back pain again. Hmmm.....
It's really interesting and actually quite embarrassing, isn't it? I wonder how many people out there get strong crushes on movie stars and singers? (I'm not talking about having a crush to the point of stalking...just being rather obsessed and escaping too often into that world...)
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Edited by - positivevibes on 01/17/2008 18:27:59 |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2008 : 22:37:28
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Absolutely, romantic love and fantasy and all that are yet another pathway to avoid the deep uncomfortable feelings.
I have this situation with my mother and sister in England both ailing. It has brought up for me the depth of abuse I went through with both of them as a child. Since this has been triggered, I have had a multitude of symptoms, including being in my 3rd week of an intense flu, which I consider at least marginal TMS. And I have noticed that even though I am deliberately still not dating or actively seeking relationship since I'm still in a sort of recovery after a divorce, I have been yearning for a certain guy as though he were a cigarette and I were a smoker.
The thing is, I could just call him, and it might go quite well for a day or so. He certainly likes me. But I know for SURE that it's a distraction. Actually, it might cure my flu, because it would be a new distraction. But I have to say that it's almost a lethal one for me, when it comes from the place of needing that band-aid to cover over that core wound.
I came to the conclusion today, yet again, lying on the couch coughing and sweating, that I am just upset about and processing through my rage at my sister and to some degree my mother. What I find hard is to concentrate on those issues. It seems so much easier to concentrate on figuring out which doc to go to or wondering whether to call "Mr X."
Yeah - all addictions including sex and love seem to me to fall in same category as TMS.
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
Edited by - Wavy Soul on 01/17/2008 22:39:22 |
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la_kevin
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - 01/17/2008 : 23:00:46
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I still insist that Norah Jones is my wife and she doesn't know it yet.
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"It's not 100% belief that's required, but 100% commitment." Armchairlinguist(?) |
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mizlorinj
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2008 : 08:10:40
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Sky, thank you for sharing! VERY interesting and entirely sensible.
-Lori
PS my crush as a youngster was Andy Gibb!
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2008 : 08:57:32
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Sympathetic shrug for ya, Wavy. Forgive the free advice if you can, but I say go for the distraction. What is life but to be enjoyed? But then I don't have an ascetic bone in my body.
I'm reminded of a line I once heard in a movie. I forget how it went exactly but Gena Rowlands says to her daughter, who is ignoring the feelings she has for some guy, that to do that is "the worst kind of wastefulness."
I kind of agree. |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2008 : 09:03:00
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I'm not really being ascetic. It's just what life is showing me about the real way to get happy. I absolutely intend to be in love again in right timing.
Thanks for the concern hee hee xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/18/2008 : 12:52:49
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| Hope I didn't offend, Speaking in general terms only. And to come at the thing from my own little corner, at 56 I often ask myself how many more full moons will I get to see? |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 01/19/2008 : 03:20:22
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quote:
I still insist that Norah Jones is my wife and she doesn't know it yet.
I've been trying to keep my thing with Clooney under wraps because everyone gets SO jealous.
Art, do you mean by that moon thing that you have stopped your "moon cycle," because I'm 56 and I haven't!!
Mrs. Clooney
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 01/20/2008 : 10:57:57
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Well Wavy, I've a feeling my moon cycle, whatever it is exactly, might be better left unexplored...
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A Romantic Crush, and TMS
