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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
 Posted - 06/18/2004 : 14:58:25
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To JayP,
I re-read your post where you concluded that the source of your pain is your job and your boss. Have you considered changing that dynamic? Can you talk to your boss about the negative workplace situation? Is there an HR Dept. that can intercede? A superior? Can you quit? I just have the belief that for every problem there is a solution. Maybe if you elaborated on the particulars of your situation someone on the board can help you. After all Sarno said TMS sufferers are generally above average individuals. It seems many here have day to day stress caused by their jobs.
Thanks for asking about my tennis results. I'm rather pleased with myself today. I made it through all my matches. YESTERDAY I PLAYED THE BEST TENNIS OF MY LIFE. A National Level II Tounament, doubles, center-court, the cocktail hour match of the night. My partner and I played two ranked players. We lost but gave them a good match. I played great. Served big, especially my top-spin second serve. It kicked up high and hit near the service line everytime. It was un-returnable. My forehand and backhand drives were low screamers just skimming the tape. I lobbed sucessfully for about 10 winners right on the baseline with a heavy wind. It seemed like I was hitting the line or a winner nine out of ten times.
After the match we went into the clubhouse and people were cheering and applauding. People came up to me shaking my hamd saying what a well played and entertaining match it was. One gentlemen even commented on my limp and suggested a good orthpedist for a hip replacement, (I just grinned and thanked him). It was a breakthrough match for me. I just want to buy that new stretched out Jeep Unlimited and hit the road to tournaments around the good old USA.
P.S., The type of bike you may be looing for is a "cruiser". It's an upright with balloon tires and a sturdy frame. I would get some gears with it even in Florida. I think Simona mentioned Schwinn; they make that style of bike. I think you should be able to find a decent quality one for about $200-$250. |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 07:49:35
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Tennis Tom,
Glad to hear you had a great game!! You certainly lived up to you name! Out of curiosity, was your hip hurting while you were playing? Did it hurt when you walked into the clubhouse and everyone was cheering? Does the pain "come and go"? Mine does, and that's why I know for certain it's TMS.
I felt like I began to "take my life back" this weekend! Someone in the forum talked about how they tense their low back and pelvic muscles because of tension and just thinking about TMS. I realized that was exactly what I was doing, and started figuring out ways to relax them on my own. Wow, what a difference! This morning I left for work without pain and sang all the way to work with a great new CD I burned and not once did I even think about the bumps in the road impacting my back! I didn't lay in bed at all this weekend. I walked, went shopping (my "sport"), and even asked my husband to take us for a ride in our Corvette! Hard to get in and out of normally, but I didn't have any pain at all. I'm not 100% yet, and I know it will take time.
Thank you for your thoughts on my situation at work. Everyone here is afraid to go to HR, because of some bad past experiences. Talking through it with my boss is an option, but not sure it is worth the stress. Once you are off her list, you stay off, and there's no redemption. The weird thing is, even though I'm off the "good person list", I get the maximum for raises and bonuses and she always gives me a stellar merit review! There's another person I know who had to transfer to another department because his TMS attacked his stomach (ulcers) and digestive track. He lost 30 lbs because of this crazy place!! I know I'm not alone. Most everyone here feels the tension that comes and goes. We are on a perpetual emotional roller coaster. There will be some major reorganization going on next year. I may have a job and I may not. My hope in sticking it out, is she goes and I stay. There are so many positives to my job, I have to continue to focus on those and forget her. Although it's tough. Saturday night I had a nightmare about her. I was walking down a long hall and she was at the other end walking toward me. I said, "you're a fx&@ing a#%hole." And I kept saying it until I was 3 inches from her face! I'm very embarrassed to share this, because I hardly ever swear, and it is so unlike me. But it fits the TMS profile of pent up anger and rage, doesn't it!!?
Thanks for your thoughts on the bike, too. I didn't get to the store this weekend, but will soon.
Have a great day. I know I will, no matter what. I'm taking my life back, and TMS is going to be complete history, very soon!
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 11:33:50
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Dear JayP,
Thanks for your post. YOU HAVE HAD A TMS BREAKTHROUGH, (IMHO),!!!
If you're dreaming about your stressor, I think that shows it's pretty clearly in your sub-conscious, and TMS. That's a great dream and maybe you can have as much positive effect as if you had done it in reality--you can't be fired for cursing out your boss in your dreams.
Memorialize this breakthrough. Have a celebration. Shop a lot. Reward yourself. I find it too easy to forget the great strides I've made with my TMS over the years. I feel I'm at 99% but get stuck. It's important to reflect on the progress made and the transformations that can now come due to the libertion of the mindbody from the fear of TMS.
Will try to comment more, but got to get out and hit a few practice serves. Drop the top on that 'vette and put the pedal to the metal.
See 'ya at the light. |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2004 : 14:30:39
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Tennis Tom,
Thanks for positive post. Now I'm glad I shared my dream, because you made some good points. It truly is in my subconscious and definitely the cause of my TMS. And, you may be right about it possibly having as much of a positive effect as if I'd really done it! Thanks for making me realize that this really was a breakthrough and something to celebrate. Like I need excuses to shop!
You said that you're 99% there...have you ever considered that perhaps it's because you are still involved with TMS at a conscious level? I remember that after I was "cured" the first time around that people with TMS acted as a trigger. My friend's girlfriend had TMS, went to NY to see Sarno, and every time we saw each other, which was only twice a year, that's all she wanted to talk about. My back would start hurting just talking to her or within a few days of talking to her. It was incredible. This is what happened to me recently. My friend had a car accident, started going to the chiropractor, and came over to my house with an ice pack and in pain. It brought it all back to my subconscious. I, too, was 99% after my TMS attack (aka Flu) in January, but being around her set it off big time and my ability to fight back was weak because it had been so long since I read Sarno's book and even thought about TMS. Now that I truly believe what I have and uncovered the reason, it won't be long until I will have to leave this forum. We're all different, but being through this before, I know that once I feel almost 100% healed, I have to let it go, and stop talking about it. Perhaps that's where you are, but don't know it. I enjoy your posts, but you might want to give it a try and see what happens when you just let it go and take your life back. You may still experience some pain from time to time, but eventually it fades. Something to think about. |
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/22/2004 : 08:17:23
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quote:
truly believe what I have and uncovered the reason, it won't be long until I will have to leave this forum. We're all different, but being through this before, I know that once I feel almost 100% healed, I have to let it go, and stop talking about it. Perhaps that's where you are, but don't know it. I enjoy your posts, but you might want to give it a try and see what happens when you just let it go and take your life back. You may still experience some pain from time to time, but eventually it fades. Something to think about.
JayP,
Congrats on your breakthrough, I hope you can learn from it and that it takes you to the next level of healing.
How long have you been doing the work of TMS and where are you at in your recovery?
There are some very interesting points you have made at the end of your post. I was consenplating these same thoughts for some time now. Taking a TMS vacation because of the hindrance of my final recovery. The exposure in the environment can become toxic especially when it is negative. I am glad for the new board’s format and the freshness it has brought. Many new insights, it only reinforces the reality of the syndrome and the ill effects of TMS. New comers have come aboard sharing more information and success stories. People helping people. That’s what it’s all about.
What frustrates me the most is not the new TMSer needing to learn and realize the emotional component behind their physical pain, but so many older people to the TMS concept still looking for answers in the physical to get rid of the source of their pain. They know it, but can’t let go of what they are really holding on to, full trust and surrender. I know this TMS stuff requires us to let go of many things,like my wife says for addictions and recovery that your not recovered if you are still depending on the program.What I have recently learned from this TMS experience is every one needs some thing to hold on to. I guess what you decide to hold on to can either deliver you from your pain or continue to hold you hostage.
I think for me it is hard to let go of the rewarding therapy that comes from helping people. I haven’t heard to many other people make this type of statement so bluntly. I know that anything can become a placebo and we are so easily conditioned. Thanks for your contribution, don’t know what is next for me but at least I got a chance to write about my thoughts and feelings.
Are there any other TMSers out there that share this view about the last stages of recovery?
Always Hope For Recovery
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 07:29:46
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Kenny V,
I'm about 80% there, so still have work to do. I got the Workbook (can't remember the author) just the other day and skimmed through it. I will need to start that process...probably this weekend. I read Sarno's first book and experienced the cure, but TMS came back on and off for a number of years. I'm pleased to see more books on TMS not only by Sarno, but others. So I feel like I'm starting over. I definitely discovered that I had doubt this time around and that's why I'm not able to turn off the pain like I used to after reading his first book, and having the fortitude to yell at the pain. After I dusted off his first book about a month ago and re-read it, I just couldn't get mad enough to stop the pain. Hopefully, with some new tools, I'll be able to do that again. But at least I'm now off the Soma and Advil, and I told the chiropractor to take a hike (actually, because I'm a "goodist" I led him to believe his work had already helped, along with the exercises he gave me!) |
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 11:20:04
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JayP
I know I asked how long you are doing TMS work and at what point of recovery. So I went back to original post and would like to respond based on the comments I extracted.
You wrote:
*I'm about 80% there, so still have work to do.
*I will need to start that process...probably this weekend. I read Sarno's first book and experienced the cure, but TMS came back on and off for a number of years.
So I feel like I'm starting over. I definitely discovered that I had doubt this time around and that's why I'm not able to turn off the pain like I used to after reading his first book, and having the fortitude to yell at the pain.
After I dusted off his first book about a month ago and re-read it, I just couldn't get mad enough to stop the pain.
Hopefully, with some new tools, I'll be able to do that again.
Then you wrote some very powerful statements in which I am in total agreement with
It was amazing how just jotting down thoughts brought so many tears and emotions. I had no idea how impacted I was about my parents selling my childhood home and moving away. It took several months of intense mental work to stop the pain. In the end, I was able to turn the pain off within minutes of it starting. But that was then
Other than that area of my life, I have nothing to worry or complain about. Most people think my life is practically perfect. I don't want my boss to "win" and I don't want TMS to "win" either. Still it's a constant struggle
Or do I simply focus on working through all my emotions and the pain will take care of itself? I am a believer in TMS. No doctor in the world could tell me my scoliosis is the cause of my pain anymore
I want to encourage you that you are on the right track for recovery and as you have stated important words such as “stagety”and “process.” This is not new to you and you have an understanding and working knowledge of TMS. This time around you must also gain faith in the emotional component, leaving behind all of the structurals.
One thing I would like to mention.
I see a lot of people with the philosophy here that TMS is something we must FIGHT. But from what I have discovered, TMS is something that we must LEARN and DEFEAT.
Now if want to look at fighting as a strategy, lets look at boxing. He must use his strength and endurance to last the duration of the fight. But to WIN, he must use his skills as he LEARNS his opponent to DEFEAT him.
And let’s think about who is our opponent here?
It is our own emotions, which reflect who we are, the way we think and rationalize. It is our response within our personal lifestyles, in relationship with the environment that we live in.
You attitude seems positive and you are going to move forward.
I hope these comments can further your recovery.
Always Hope For Recovery
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2004 : 15:09:41
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Kenny V,
Wow, powerful comments...thank you for validating for me that I am on the right track. Your point about LEARNING to DEFEAT my opponent, my own emotions, is definitely the better strategy. I have a lot of learning and re-learning to do. You made me realize that with your thoughts, but also as I re-read the parts of my posts that you quoted. I think the Workbook I purchased is really going to help me uncover a lot of issues and emotions. As Dave (I think) said, we don't always know what's bothering us. When I uncovered the issue I had about my parents moving, I was shocked because I thought I had it under "control". So I suspect I will be revealing things to myself that I think I have under "control", but don't.
Thanks for all your kind and insightful words. This Forum has helped me so much in just the short time I've joined it. Thanks to everyone! |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 07:33:16
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To Tennis Tom,
How's your game going and how have you been feeling? |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 14:38:08
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quote:
Originally posted by JayP
To Tennis Tom,
How's your game going and how have you been feeling?
Thanks for asking JayP. I've been over-doing it as usual. The tell tale sign being I was too tired to do a swim and hot-tub last night. I had arranged for a singles match this morning but thankfully my opponent called to beg off this morning. It's past 1 PM and I've spent the morning in bed on the internet and catching up with phone calls-feels great to rest and have a day off with no pressure of doing.
Since my breakthrough doubles match recently, where I played the best I've ever played, I've felt pretty good about my game. My coach paid me the complement last week that I have all the shots. Now I must work more on watching what my opponent does on the other side of the net. I've got a pretty good handle on what I can and can't do. Must now work more on stratagy and tactics.
It feels good to know that I have a core game and can hit with most anyone. I need to now work on losing some weight and impoving the gait. Winning in real competition will not be a reality until those two issues improve.
I'm looking forward to taking a couple of weeks off in August and going on a road trip with my girlfriend to the Northwest. Might checkout a grass court club on Vancouver Island. Maybe do a Senior tournament along the way. Also looking forward to driving cross-counry to Florida in January and doing some clay court tournaments.
Gonna' go do a walk now, which I've been touting so much and doing so little of lately.
Best wishes,
tt |
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JayP
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 15:37:59
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Tennis Tom,
Glad to hear all is going well for you on the court. You didn't mention your hip so I take that as a good sign. I saw your post about cortisone shots and immediately thought that you were drifting off to the physical side of the "court". But someone replied and reminded you of that.
I'm about 1/2 way through Sarno's MindBody Prescription book. It's excellent, and I really think it's helping. I had a long chat with a friend at work about our situation. It felt good to get all my feelings out, especially how ANGRY I am at our boss. The sick part of it is, I still want her approval, even though I know I will never get it, because no one has it.
I really believe the basis of TMS, but I'm not sure I believe people are cured forever. Our lives are constantly changing and evolving with new pressures and situations that create more "anger" deposits. I was fine until I got here and then the pressure and abuse kept depositing and depositing until the rage just wouldn't stay down. I remember saying to my husband and a friend of mine a year or so ago that I would experience several days of just feeling ANGRY and I didn't know why. I thought it was the beginning of menopause! But it was actually the beginning of this latest TMS manifestation caused by the rage I had over my work environment. I think we will continue to have "spells" of TMS throughout life, but knowing what it is and not fearing that we have some terrible thing wrong with us will help us to work through it quickly each time it resurfaces.
JayP
P.S. You mentioned going to Vancouver. I used to visit Seattle quite often and once took the high-speed ferry up to Vancouver Island and stayed at the Empress Hotel. It was a gorgeous place...stay there if you can. I've also driven to Vancouver and stayed at Sutton Place...another awesome hotel. Both had fabulous brunches! |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 17:31:56
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Thanks JayP, I'll take down those recommendations for B.C.
It sounds like you're on to this TMS stuff. I think as long as we have emotions we will be subsceptible to TMS. The good news is we have Sarno's books to teach us the techniques to deal with it. If we get good enough at it we can use it to serve our purposes rather than letting it use us. |
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Intense Pain
