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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
 Posted - 09/05/2007 : 14:02:25
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Seeking reassurance and help here. Forgive me for refererencing a physical ailment, butI have read Sarno recently and also, being a skeptic, picked up Dr. Brady's book. I think his story really resonated with me. I have been dealing with ongoing (never-ending pain) in my neck and upper back for more than two years now. It was diagnosed early on as myofascial pain, sort of a catch-all diagnosis for muscle pain. I have three large, hard lumps in my neck on the left side that are painful as hell to the touch. I have been through doctors and MRIs and all that, so I know they aren't tumors.
And I have become obsessed with trying to rub them out. I have Claire Davies' book and also see a NMT therapist, who specializes in trigger point pain. None of these efforts has helped. Prior to, I went to PT and otho and chiros. Nothing. Just more of the pain. But it has moved from the right side predominantly to now the left. That's the side with the gravels.
Has anyone else had these gravels in their muscles and gotten over them, rubbed them out or just ignored them and the pain? I fit all the profiles of pain-prone people. I had hives in high school and college, And I had to quit work recently because this thing is taking over my life. Could stress cause your muscles to turn into gravel? And how did you ignore the pain? It's constant. I can't raisemy left arm past my shoulder laterally. Household chores are very taxing, and I fatigue so easily.
I feel like I could focus ondoing the mindwork if Icould get the mental image of these gravels out of my mind. If anyone has had success with these things, let me know your secret. It would go a long way toward alleviating my fear of lifelong pain. Please, please help in any way you can... |
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skizzik
USA
783 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 14:13:22
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My wife had a hard lump on her neck between her jawbone and ear. It was painful to the touch. Lasted a month or so, I kept thinking it was stress because we were/are nearing a big life change.
Antibiotics did'nt work, and she never was biopsied, but at some point it faded away.
Of course, right after that she's getting bad skin rashes (look up "symptom imparative" in Sarno, I think "symptom substitution" in Brady)
As far as your symptoms, were you able to determine they started at a stressful or emotionally conflicting time in your life?
For the last 2 or so years, has there been something irritating to you that you've been to stoic and proud of yourself that you "don't let it bother you" that you've been repressing?
Or, were you neglected, abused, or confused as a child and had no one to talk to about it? |
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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 14:24:36
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Thanks ,skiz,
Yes, it all started on the right side when I was fed up at work. I was in what I call a delayed id-life crisis and devloping anxiety over my health. I started with diarrhea, then got scared over elevated blood pressure, then I got a spasm in my shoulder blade area that didn't go away. It just stayed there. I felt dizzy constantly, generally unwell. I went to a therapist for a while, and the anxiety over the health matters got much better. But the pain never left.
So I started trying other things, like adjusting posture, working out. In the beginning, this was annoying, but I could function normally. Here recently it has gotten much worse, and I know nothing gets better from worry. I've been there. These knots don't even show up on an MRI, says the doc. I nver saw the pictures, he just told me they were clean.
He also probably shook his head and said there goes another hypochondriac as I left. I'm not nuts, though. Just a bit. I'm starting to get the idea that this is the extent my body had to go to in order to get my attention, and the need for distraction is so great that pain alone wouldn't do it. I had to have something palpable also! |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 17:55:55
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I used to do a lot of the muscle work from the Davies book, but I stopped when I learned about TMS. I still have the trigger point lumps (not large ones like yours, but definitely present physically) but they don't cause pain anymore. The trigger points may be a mechanism but emotional stuff is the trigger. You know the lumps are harmless (been biopsied and MRIed, nothing there, so harmless), so if I were you I'd work on visualizing them as such. Maybe even chuckle at them a bit.
MPS is often looked at as similar to CFS/Fibro, which is TMS equivalent, so I'd say it's likely that's where you are.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 18:07:07
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Hi csmoon,
The symptoms you have are similar to some that I've had. I was given a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, but I've had the trigger point lumps in my back, which were very tender when the chiropractor I used to see would try to rub them out. I've had Irritable Bowel Syndrome, shoulder spasms that kept me from raising my arm very far,dizziness, and many other symptoms. They can all be part of TMS and related to suppressed and repressed emotions. It's always best to check things out with a doctor, of course, but once that's been done and you haven't found any other reason, TMS is a likely culprit.
My husband also has these lumps and gravelly areas, which are extremely tender to touch, along with many other indications of TMS (combined with some separate problems that are really physical), but even though his doctors can't explain the symptoms that I believe are TMS, he is not yet interested in reading Dr. Sarno's information. I have given him massages for years, and while I can sometimes get the muscles to relax, in just a short while the lumps and strips that feel like gravel or concrete are back. So I don't think that there is any permanent relief from physical treatment.
If the pain is severe, it can be hard to ignore, but the main idea is to stop looking to physical treatments as the source of relief and focus on dealing with the emotions. Sit down and make the list that Dr. Sarno suggests, or use Dr. Brady's suggestions, writing down all the possible sources of anger, emotional pain and sadness. Even if you have some doubts about whether your pain and lumps are TMS, do it anyway. There are many people who have overcome these symptoms by using the TMS treatment protocol, but it's important to commit to acknowledging the emotions. Many people who don't get immediate relief from reading the books find that journaling is an important tool for achieving success. Read through some of the threads on this forum to find stories of people who have overcome such symptoms to help you gain confidence in the idea that TMS can be the source of your problems.
Here is a link to a site that one of the forum members created which also has helpful info about getting started with journaling: http://www.etex.net/kelving
Welcome to the forum and best wishes on beating this pain! |
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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 18:28:22
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Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This is better than a support group. I have finally found someone who says these things are harmless and don't spell lifelong misery. That's really all I needed to catipult my recovery. I have been so anxious and down about the lack of being able to move, etc. I just finished building a doghouse for my kids' puppy. It took three days, where a couple of years ago it would've been done in a few hours. I was so grateful to God though just to be able to stand and bend long enough to hammer and saw etc.
It'sfunny that while I was working and engrossed in the task, I didn't really notice the pain. But then once I was finished I sat down and it came on. It's like the lady who got pain when she got homeandpoured herself a drink in the book. Conditioning? Wow!
I don't mean to sound like a naive child, but it really seems like this pain thing only exists when we think about it. And think about it I do, a lot! That is a habitI have to break. The doctor says return to activity, and that is what I am attempting to do.
Thanks again. You are like angels to my eyes!!! |
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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2007 : 18:46:25
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Oh, and one more thing...
Dr. Brady references a massage therapist rubbing painful wads of muscle and he also specifically lists MPS as an AOS/TMs equivalent. I am overjoyed! Thanks again!!!!! |
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 09:08:38
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This might help you to laugh at the lumps...
A few years ago when I was first starting the psychological work to recover from TMS neck/shoulder pain, I happened to catch a Simpson's rerun where Homer decided he was going to stop being so angry.
He bottled up all the rage he usually expressed by strangling Bart and saying d'oh! and when he did - POP, POP, POP - he got these golf ball like lumps on his neck.
It was the most amazing moment of synchronicity for me when I saw that. I wondered if Groening or one of his writers had seen Sarno! I wish I knew what season/episode it was...
Don't bottle it up! Feel better! Thanks to Sarno and Homer I've been pain free since August 2003. |
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csmoon
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - 09/06/2007 : 10:32:57
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Logan,
Thanks for the humorous image. You didn't mention your own plight or flight from the plight, so I will. Did you have the same tight muscle syndrome thingy that I have? I checked sucess forum and didn't find your story. Sorry, I'm new so if you posted it, nevermind.
BTW, I was never out of touch with my rage or feelings of inadequacy. My dad made sure all five of us had that constantly growing up. Then, when we all got out on our own, we had developed bad habits of repression of anger because it was a survival technique at home. I used to even laugh when I saw someone go wild with rage. I have two brothers well in excess of 300 pounds on slight frames. I have a sister with a host of medical problems ranging from MS to hyperthyroidism -- both very directly related to stress and inward pressure to overachieve. There are three valedictorians in my family and two are now unemployed :o)
My younger brother just smokes and drinks down his anxieties. I was always the one to referee, being the middle child, but I suppose my dam broke first when the job strain hit and worries about being a failure and how to care for my family became constant.
So, in your opinion, are the knots and the pain they produce just distractions that can go away on their own when the mindset changes? Was your misdiagnosis MPS or something other? Ilistened to The Divided Mind last night on my iPod, and Dr. Sarno clearly states MPS is a misdiagnosis for TMS.
I want to print out some of these replies and put them in my journal. |
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Myofascial pain syndrome
