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JaniceG
25 Posts |
 Posted - 07/19/2007 : 16:55:16
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Hi everyone..this is my first time on here and I want to share my story and hear from others so I know I'm not alone. I had been getting muscle tension and pain in my neck and shoulders for a few months. It finally got so bad that I couldn't turn my neck and went to a doctor who said it was work related and prescribed a neck brace and Naproxen. I went back to work as a computer operator, sitting at a computer for 7 hours a day. Since then the pain has gotten so bad that I can no longer go to work. I went back to the doctor who said I should try physical therapy. I have gone 3 times since then and they say I have the worse case of muscle spasms they have ever seen. I got Dr. Sarno's book yesterday and have been reading it. I understand all my problems are from tension and anger. It's just that now I am so upset about not being able to go to work and all the medical bills I'm piling up. I'm sitting home all day every day, which I have never done before. I hate having to have my husband pay all the bills and go shopping and go to work while I sit home in pain and do nothing. I'm reading the book and beleive in TMS, but I think I have more anxiety than ever with all these worries!!
JaniceG |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2007 : 20:13:56
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Hi Janice,
Welcome to our forum. It sounds to me like maybe you need a big long cry ... I see myself in your story so much. About a year ago I couldn't work, had to depend on my hubby to care for everything in our lives including our children. I was in and out of doctors, tried drugs, didn't work. They wanted to operate on my wrists for "the worst carpal tunnel they ever saw on someone so young". After I discovered Sarno I started asking myself some tough emotional questions and a few weeks in had a breakthrough after I cried for several days. (Most people would say I had a breakdown, but I see if differently.)
I feel honored and thankful to tell you that my story and TMS have evolved. I am again employed. I am out of most of my pain. I am no longer on meds. I am able to feed my family. I feel so much better, but make very different choices than where I was a year ago. I've done a lot of emotional work and tried to figure out what got me into this mess.
Our TMS pain is very real and debilitating for a lot of us. Hang in there. The fact that you discovered Sarno may be one of the greatest blessings of your life ... it certainly was for me. It changed everything, although I didn't quite buy into it in the beginning.
Getting better is a commitment. Which book are you reading? Try really hard NOT to put your attention on your symptoms, or even write about them specifically here too much: That's what your brain wants you to do. Instead try to discover what you may not be allowing yourself to feel emotionally.
There are many tactics. Journaling was helpful to me. Read thru the archives using the "Search" button at the top of the page. Be sure to read the "Success Stories" section of the forum too. Kelvin (a forum member) has a wonderful Web site with free downloadable tools and audio programs of Sarno to help give you ideas at http://www.etex.net/kelving/
Be patient and don't give yourself a deadline to get better.
Take care of YOU and again welcome,
>|< Penny
"Oz never did give nothing to the Tinman that he didn't already have."
song lyric, America |
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ny716
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2007 : 15:57:04
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Hi Janice,
I just read your posting right after I wrote about a similar neck and shoulder problem. So I definitely identify with you and have a lot of anxiety too. Hopefully we will have better stories to share soon.
Hilary |
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JaniceG
25 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2007 : 19:56:30
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Thanks....I am reading Healing Back Pain. I have had a good cry, and I'm not one to cry very often. I'm concentrating on what is really upsetting me and it is probably that I feel a lot of resentment at my job. I have been there 26 years and love my work, but lately I feel imposed upon to "do it all" and feel enraged by the heavy workload. Now I haven't been there in 2 weeks, so I wonder who's taking care of all that work? There's also a co-worker whom I can't stand and she can't stand me (she's always putting me down behind my back), but I decided to ignore her and be civil but I'm working through in my mind how I enraged I am at her, too. Wow, I feel a little better just venting....thanks again and I hope you both feel better,too!
JaniceG |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2007 : 12:50:20
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That is a good message. You are starting to get to the root of your feelings. Keep going, follow it wherever it goes. Let the emotions lead you. For example maybe there is more behind the fact that you haven't been there in 2 weeks. What if things are actually going pretty well? Maybe they will learn that you're not so important after all. Maybe the co-worker that you hate will take credit for your work and get the accolades while you continue to be underappreciated.
I'm not suggesting any of this is true .. I just mean to provide an example of following your feelings, even if they lead to irrational thoughts that you know are untrue, yet maybe reveal something about what the "angry child" inside you is feeling. |
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JaniceG
25 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2007 : 19:54:53
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Thanks, Dave....since concentraing on these feelings over the past 2 days, I have actually been able to cut down the time of the back spasm attacks from 6 to 8 hours to 2 to 4 hours just by telling myself that my pain is from emotional tension. I realize I try to be the perfect employee turning in the perfect projects just at the perfect time and completing all my work perfectly. The place will not fall apart without me and when I get back, I'm going to stop trying to be so perfect all the time!
JaniceG |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2007 : 12:14:21
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Hi Janice, Maybe you could write a couple of letters that you never send, to get even closer to the anger: One to your co-worker, one to your job/boss maybe about how your co-worker is and how great you are, and maybe one to yourself and the perfectionist in you? Just some more ideas. You are doing great just by acknowledging what you are already!
>|< Penny |
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In a Mess...need moral support
