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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
 Posted - 06/15/2007 : 00:16:29
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| Thanks to the psychosomatic turmoil in my life lately, ive missed a couple appointments/commitments. I don't really feel like lying to the folks who i didn't keep appointments with, but i don't really feel like telling them i have a psychosomatic illness either, since most people aren't hugely receptive to that idea. So, what does one use as an 'excuse'? Does anyone have a 'politically correct' way of dealing witht this situation? For example, say you miss a day of work; what do you tell your coworkers? The "i was sick" response can only work for so long. Any suggestions? |
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sensei adam rostocki
USA
167 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 05:55:18
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I understand your point, but do not agree with it. Overcoming the psychological pain stigma is an important part of recovery for many patients. Acknowledging that these pain syndromes are completely normal and universal is key to opening up people’s eyes to what is going on with the healthcare system. Personally, I use this type of situation as an excuse to educate people and reinforce my own beliefs in the diagnosis. In the end you will always have the last laugh since you have become pain free by embracing the TMS concept. Truth shall set you free...- Sensei
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 07:11:25
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Sensei makes a good point. On the other hand, I hear what you're saying, as well. Really, when you say you're not feeling well, that is not really lying. Only those that you choose to share this with are going to be told. I've shared my new found TMS with only 2 people so far. I think many people aren't ready to hear it and might possibly give me grief about it. Later, when I am WELL again, I'll choose who I want to tell. The healing process is hard work and I don't want any distractions. (ie: raised eyebrows  )
So carry on and continue doing your best. Most folks don't even matter.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 07:37:50
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I guess i shouldn't have asked a question i already knew the answer to  I've used the 'not feeling well' response but was getting tired of using it, ive gotten to the point where id rather just be totally straighforward and who really cares about the raised eyebrows. In my case, that's probably the healthiest way to go, at least with the people im comfortable with, since it challenges the 'fear of judgment' issues that underly my syndrome in the first place. Thanks for the support. |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 07:39:36
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Hi Stanfr,
Here's another approach: Why tell people anything? It isn't anybody else's business unless they sign your paycheck, and then you might have to be specific. If others are rude enough to ask, you can say you're dealing with a chronic health problem and let it go at that. Most people will have enough sense to not inquire further.
Just guessing, but maybe your need to over-explain a personal situation might be some sort of TMS equivalent. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 08:12:03
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Shary makes a good point, don't make any excuse, and don't you obsess about what others "think". In the big picture it really doesn't matter what other people think.
Look, if you must, just give them the short FACTS...
"I have a loss of blood flow causing muscle pain in my ________ and I'm treating the condition with a doctors advice." (fill in the blank with back, leg, arm, body part in pain). Of course you know who the "doctor" is.
Take care, -Stryder |
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 09:32:50
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quote:
Originally posted by stanfr
Does anyone have a 'politically correct' way of dealing witht this situation?
How about
"I've been completely in denial and out of touch with my emotions. It's ridiculous, but my brain thinks it's easier for me to deal with intense physical pain INSTEAD of experiencing my some ugly Un-PC feelings like anger, sadness, rage, or jealousy. I have subconscious patterns in my life that aren't serving me--that actually are contributing to my pain, and many of my friends and family are contributing to my problems by enabling these patterns. I'm working on reconnecting with my emotions, and the more patterns I reveal and modify, the more I experience them, and the more liberated I become from my pain."
LOL!!!!!  Really, I don't say this to people, but this is what I constantly tell myself. I just tell people
"I've been under a lot of stress lately ... stress is really underrated, you know?! but things are getting better."
>|< Penny
"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
The Great and Powerful Oz |
Edited by - Penny on 06/15/2007 09:41:52 |
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JohnD
USA
371 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 10:38:24
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I woukd only share as much as I was comfortable and confident sharing. If it brings up too many emotions to share Tms with others then maybe its a good idea to not share it with others and not put more rage into your unconscious pool of emotions that contribute to Tms in the first place
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2007 : 11:57:12
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quote:
Penny said: How about - "I've been completely in denial and out of touch with my emotions. It's ridiculous, but my brain thinks it's easier for me to deal with intense physical pain INSTEAD of experiencing my some ugly Un-PC feelings like anger, sadness, rage, or jealousy. I have subconscious patterns in my life that aren't serving me--that actually are contributing to my pain, and many of my friends and family are contributing to my problems by enabling these patterns. I'm working on reconnecting with my emotions, and the more patterns I reveal and modify, the more I experience them, and the more liberated I become from my pain."
I like it. Yea, I'm going to say that from now on ;-) -Stryder |
Edited by - Stryder on 06/15/2007 11:59:58 |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 01:12:45
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Thanks for all the suggestions! I think ill play it by ear, but i like Penny's suggestion--i gotta memorize that one 
Stryder: i only wish it were a loss of blood flow! Ive gotta plenty of experience beating that form of TMS, but the latest manifestation is psoriasis, and in the rectal area--which is extremely uncomfortable. It would be tempting to describe in gory detail just to see the look on people'e faces, but i think i'll pass! The last few weeks have been pretty rocky, but ive found that much of the rage stems from disfunctional family situations as a young child, and being bullied as a kid. |
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weatherman
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 06/16/2007 : 01:16:41
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The need to make a living is an often ugly reality - and I'm sure a major source of my own rage. Given that reality, I always found a 24-hour stomach flu to be a respectable excuse back in the day, provided you don't show up sunburned. Once you tell people that reason they usually don't request further details. And, it's entirely plausible that you look completely normal the next day.
Weatherman
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. |
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what to tell others?
